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Discussion Forum : Scriptures and Doctrine : Just get married or burn with lust??

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Yeshuasboy
Member



Joined: 2006/6/10
Posts: 668
Northern Rockies, BC, Canada

 Re:

I enjoy & have been blessed by Baxter's "Directions Against Fornication" which can be heard @ www.sermonaudio.com. Sin always lieth @ the door, but we must learn by the grace of God to master it; & we can praise God! Don't go where the snare lies, & reckon yourself dead unto sin but alive unto God friend.


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Richie

 2010/9/9 20:14Profile
Yeshuasboy
Member



Joined: 2006/6/10
Posts: 668
Northern Rockies, BC, Canada

 Re:

"There is a majesty of grace on the conscience of the child of God, that must break out in holy duties: though temptation should hide Christ in His grace, tempted Joseph is overawed with this, (Genesis 39:9). This awful majesty of the grace of God's fear causeth Joseph (to) see nothing in harlotry, but pure, unmixed guiltiness against God." - Samuel Rutherford


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Richie

 2010/9/10 0:36Profile
reformer
Member



Joined: 2007/6/25
Posts: 766


 Re:

Quote:
I don't think you should marry without resolving that issue.



very true...often times it can be more of a challenge. but you say it well, its not the cure.

 2010/9/10 6:53Profile
reformer
Member



Joined: 2007/6/25
Posts: 766


 Re:

Quote:
I rarely see God intervening on man's behalf in satisfying a lustful relationship with porn by giving him a wife.



I don't believe this statement is true. It sounds to me that you must be perfect and sinless to have a blessing. We all make mistakes and struggle with sin, but God still comes through. Especially if one is struggling with porn, God may send a suitable helper, a strong woman. I believe it would have the opposite effect, I think you would fight against the temptation more and more. Also, she would keep you busy by giving you a "honey-do" list too. When you are alone you are more than likely to give into that temptation, if you have a wife, though the temptation will still be there, you will still fail at times, but do believe it will be much less and eventually no struggle at all.

 2010/9/10 7:04Profile
twayneb
Member



Joined: 2009/4/5
Posts: 2012
Joplin, Missouri

 Re: Just get married or burn with lust??

1Co 7:5-9
(5) Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
(6) But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
(7) For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
(8) I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
(9) But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

Paul seems to be speaking these things out of his own opinion, being allowed to do so by the Holy Spirit rather than out of commandment to write these things. He apparently saw great benefit in his own singleness. I can see how his single state was of great benefit in His calling as he traveled continually and was often in danger of losing his life. Not the sort of life to drag a wife and children into I would think. But if the unmarried or the widows find living a single life difficult due to the strong desire for a man or woman, it is better for them to marry. I don't think the context here is talking about marrying because a person has a lust problem, but rather marrying because of the strong desire for a spouse, although the desire for the sexual fulfillment of marriage is no doubt part of this desire for a spouse.

As to lust problems, I can tell you that this is one thing you do not want to drag into a marriage, and marriage will NOT cure such a problem. If you are a man or woman given to sexual lust, you need to find some very mature and trustworthy men or women (as the case may be) of God and bring that thing into the light for God to begin to deal with before you even think of going through with a marriage. There is little that is so destructive to a marriage as lust. Paul gives admonition about fornication and lust in other places that is very different in nature from, "go ahead and get married rather than live in lust". So I cannot see that in this instance Paul would tell people to get married as an alternative to living in lust. I think this deals more with a strong desire for a spouse which so many have. Remember God said it is not good for a man to be alone and instituted marriage.


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Travis

 2010/9/10 8:24Profile
Koheleth
Member



Joined: 2005/11/10
Posts: 530
NC

 Re:

A man who is addicted to porn is not ready for marriage. First, marriage is not "porn substitute", as most seem to be implying in this thread. I got married as a non-Christian and can testify that getting married does not reduce your lust and probably won't effect your consumption of pornography (long term--you might hold off for the honeymoon).

Worse, you are committing a sin by saddling some poor woman with a porn-addicted man. The Scriptural answer is perfectly clear. Yes, it is better to marry than to burn. It does not say it is better to marry than to continue with porn. Burn means you are under self-control but struggling. Struggling does not mean failing, it means you are wrestling with temptation. Jesus and the apostles spoke extensively of self-control and sin. Marriage is not the answer to porn addiction. Deliverance is, which is the reason Jesus died.

If you are addicted to porn and are planning to get married, I suggest you get honest and discuss it thoroughly with your future spouse and prepare yourself if they choose to walk away. To do otherwise is dishonest and deceptive, meaning you have departed from Christ already.

 2010/9/10 8:58Profile









 Re: https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=32617&forum=36


twayneb said
'As to lust problems, I can tell you that this is one thing you do not want to drag into a marriage, and marriage will NOT cure such a problem. If you are a man or woman given to sexual lust, you need to find some very mature and trustworthy men or women (as the case may be) of God and bring that thing into the light for God to begin to deal with before you even think of going through with a marriage. There is little that is so destructive to a marriage as lust. Paul gives admonition about fornication and lust in other places that is very different in nature from, "go ahead and get married rather than live in lust". So I cannot see that in this instance Paul would tell people to get married as an alternative to living in lust. I think this deals more with a strong desire for a spouse which so many have. Remember God said it is not good for a man to be alone and instituted marriage.'


This, and Koheleth's comments are right on the mark.

I would add on a note of translation, that 'lust' is the old word for 'deep desire'. It is not necessarily sinful to desire a spouse.

In fact, the whole business of finding a spouse is based upon the sexual attraction one feels for that person and they feel for you - which may be the last thing which becomes clear to two people in a longstanding close friendship - and without which NO marriage should be contemplated. If only one feels sexually attracted, then that's not enough for a marriage, and, that one should consider very carefully whether the 'friendship' with that other, can be glorifying to God if it is impure.

For a slightly different 'take' on this, in this short testimony by Jennie Meeten (with Polish translation), she shares how God challenged her about her allegiance to HIM, not through HER wandering heart or mind, but through the adulterous interest of another. I found it quite shocking!

http://mp3.biblebase.com/download.php?file=416





 2010/9/10 11:47
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7511
Mississippi

 Re:

Quote:
I can tell you that this is one thing you do not want to drag into a marriage, and marriage will NOT cure such a problem. If you are a man or woman given to sexual lust, you need to find some very mature and trustworthy men or women (as the case may be) of God and bring that thing into the light for God to begin to deal with before you even think of going through with a marriage. There is little that is so destructive to a marriage as lust.



Amen! Travis.

I would guess the reason most marriages fail is because of lust which began while still single that have never been brought under the Blood of Jesus. We have seen in our own brotherhood brethren who had problems with porn that began in childhood. Had it not been for the intervention of concerned brethren, who knows where that marriage would have gone...Still, given the fact that we believe in a covenant marriage, it would likely have stayed intact if the offending partner would have wanted it but the trust would have been destroyed.

Jesus came to clean up dirty, filthy folks - some just require a harder scrubbing then others. All one has to do is submit to it. Most of the time we enjoy our sins too much to do so - doesn't matter what sin it is.



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Sandra Miller

 2010/9/10 14:37Profile









 Re: Just get married or burn with lust??


'some just require a harder scrubbing then others'

Um.... really?

Surely you're not serious?

(1 John 1:7 seems to include all of us.)

 2010/9/10 17:14
Koheleth
Member



Joined: 2005/11/10
Posts: 530
NC

 Re:

Alive-to-God said:

Quote:
'some just require a harder scrubbing then others' Um.... really? Surely you're not serious? (1 John 1:7 seems to include all of us.)



Didn't see anything in the post that violates 1 John 1:7, unless you are reading it differently. Naturally, depending on how much dirt we have wallowed in, by analogy some require harder "scrubbing". Let's not make this a theological debate.

 2010/9/11 3:53Profile





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