Hi GinnyRose You are absolutely right that to cut ties and abandon family is not right. I absolutely agree that the family is from the heart of God Himself and is an essential building block to a stable society. In my grandparents day people newly converted were encouraged to distance themselves from unsaved family, as they were of the world, this deeply saddens me and I say 'how can you then be salt and light to them'?
It was a challenge when I met my husband as he was the only Christian in his family and I was brought up in a very devout and strong Christian family with relatives who are Pastors, teachers and missionaries. My hubby's father, now deceased, was a jailbird who we only saw whenever he had a new woman to show off. His mother who had been through so much heartache was so bitter and anti-God that she did everything she could to put me off her son and discourage our relationship, as she saw me as a 'Bible basher' with, even worse in her eyes, a preacher father!
Even though she did show kindness by catering for our reception, she rowed with my hubby on our wedding day, telling him if he walked out of that door to marry me it would be the last time he would ever be in her house! Needless to say that threat never stopped him!
His mother's face during our wedding was a picture of sourness that we see to this day on the DVD! Yet after the reception she hugged me sobbing on my shoulder.
She was very stiff with me at first but as she got to know me and we built a deeper relationship, she began to soften. I have spent time alone with her but will never push my beliefs, yet sometimes she now turns the conversation towards God, our Church and ask my opinion on issues. I have always been open and honest and also listened to her point of view. Knowing that I will not be heavy with her has now given her openness to talk and when she can't handle anymore she will then start accusing me of being a God botherer and preaching at her - even though she is the one to start the conversations! I know then it's time to say no more.
I have built an excellent relationship with his sisters and also the extended family, all of whom, even though they may have a laugh and a dig occasionally, respect our Christianity and we don't take offence at their teasing. I have witnessed such a softening in their attitudes over our 24 years of marriage and we are the first port of call in crisis for them.
Two years ago, God started to right the wrongs in my life and told me most clearly that I had to break my silence about my teenage years suffering abuse. I then had to share with my mother in law what was happening in my life because of the police investigation that had started. To my utmost delight, I was stunned when she said to me "I know it's only your faith that has made you the woman you are today, for you are so different to the victims of abuse that I work with!" She then started to open up further with me and share her hurts and disappointments in life.
It would have been so easy to just stick with my side of the family, but if I can't make the effort to build relationships and reach my unsaved family then who can! I believe God has placed us within our family units, and it's all for a purpose.
My husband has benefited greatly in his faith through marrying into my family and the positive impact my family has had on him. He tells me that my parents have been a true mam and dad to him. Yet, I can honestly say that I too have benefited and have been challenged and strengthened by marrying into his family.
I know we have Christian brothers and sisters and that is great, but even they come and go - in and out of our lives. Life is fluid, constantly on the move, friendships come and go - but blood ties are always there, we are to be witnesses at home first! _________________ Ceri Elaine
|