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Discussion Forum : Miracles that follow the plow : Husband wants to go witnessing / street preaching / evangelism; Wife wants him to stay home

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hmmhmm
Member



Joined: 2006/1/31
Posts: 4991
Sweden

 Re: Husband wants to go witnessing / street preaching / evangelism; Wife wants him to

Its a hard thing to give advice when not knowing the couple, all men are different and also all women so all marriages are special. My own experience is God may use the marriage to break a man or woman for the ministry God has planned for that man or woman. I see both ways in history, was it Wesley that went despite his wifes wishes to stay? and he won souls for the Lord in the many thousands.

Others maybe have to give up their "dream" of ministry for a season, maybe years, to humble themselves and love those who are closest. I think family is the most important ministry a man has, some great missionaries left their children to others for upbringing and they lived not for God when they grew up, some preachers so worked for God they neglected their family and they know not God as adults, even feeling resentment towards Christianity.

But i think it is different with all couples, some may have an unconverted spouse, a fire to live for God and serve him in ministry but it will not work practically in reality. I have learned sometimes staying is a greater sacrifice then going.

I always found this little excerpt to be very encouraging for me and my goal even tho far from it maybe today, i pray one day this will be my marriage testimony to the world.
[i]

Marriage is meant to be a miniature of heaven—a
fragment of the celestial blessedness, let down into
this world.

Marriage is meant to be a little sanctuary, into which
husband and wife may flee from earth's storms and
dangers, where in love's shelter, their hearts fed with
affection's daily bread—they may dwell in quiet peace.

Marriage is meant to be a shelter in which, covered
from the frosts of the world and shielded from its cold
and tempests—two lives may grow together into richest
beauty, realizing their sweetest dreams of happiness,
blending in whatever things are true, whatever things
are pure, and attaining the finest possibilities of godly
character.

Marriage is meant to be a holy ark, floating on the wild
floods of human life—like Noah's ark on the deluge,
bearing to heaven's gates, to the harbor of glory—the
lives which God has shut within its doors.

A godly marriage is a little nook in the very heart of
God, where faithful souls are held close to the Father's
heart, and carried safely, amid dangers and sorrows, to
the home above![/i] J. R. Miller


_________________
CHRISTIAN

 2009/10/13 3:30Profile
myfirstLove
Member



Joined: 2005/11/26
Posts: 496


 Re:

*edit*

i have to agree with hmmmmm. all couple are different. it is hard to minister over the internet. we would have to hear from them to be able to give wise counsel. I also agree with Mike about the wives. it does seem that a lot of wives aren't saved, but are more like the normal american christians and truthfully christian men seem more differnet than the men in the bible and even the puritan days. Christian men today seem more feminine. Not only in Christiandom do they seem more feminine, but even among the lost. i think also alot of time christians seem to look at what marriage is through the world's eyes with their own reasons and emotions instead of the word. whats really lost is wives showing respect for their husbands and husband's watering the wives with the word, helping her obey the word.

i also want to apologize for my first post. i shouldn't have given counsel because I haven't heard from the couple myself so was not able to discern rightly and give biblical counsel. it is very hard to rightly counsel over the internet. i have met some people through the internet and a lot of them are nothing like they are on the christian forums. i will instead pray for this couple. God knows.


_________________
Lisa

 2009/10/13 12:03Profile
BeYeDoers
Member



Joined: 2005/11/17
Posts: 370
Bloomington, IN

 Re:

I echo Paul and Taylor here. I can't speak to the specifics, but in general, men are called to lay down their life for their wife, not for their perceived ministry. As a man, your primary ministry is your wife, then your children. Now, on the flipside, the wife is commanded to submit to her husband as unto the Lord, and should be helping him in his endeavors. Sounds like they need to sit down and hash through scipture, and find out where they are each failing, and repent to the Lord. Ultimately, the husband will be held responsible before God for how he handles his household, and if he doesn't rule it well, he's not qualified for ministry anyway. Furthermore, those "called to ministry" where marriage is a hindrance are few, and it is a special calling as a eunuch to remain single before the Lord. If you are married, that has become your calling.

My general thoughts.


_________________
Denver McDaniel

 2009/10/13 12:51Profile









 Re:

Quote:
it is hard to minister over the internet.

You know, that is not true. Paul spent his time in prison and sent 'emails' to the different churches giving them advice and he didn't physically see the situation but he knew by the spirit what was going on. It's a lame excuse to go down that avenue because it give the person a reason to what they are doing by saying, "No one understands my situation". I think that is a cop out, a distraction from the real issue and that is he needs to nurture his relationship with his wife, making sure that her emotional needs are met. We have to remember that her head is not Jesus Christ, it's her husband. So he is in a very hard place, he can't just go off and do his thing whenever he wants to like a single man can. He has a responsibility to his wife FIRST. She needs to draw strength from him, once that has been established and settled, then he will be able to go out and do the LORDS work.

He has the gift to preach that will always be there and it can wait. Yes, God will honour the call and the gifts and you can preach up a storm and see hundreds come to be saved, but in the meantime things are straining at home and in your mind you think that God will look after the wife. God will supply all your needs and will make sure that you will not go without, but as far as the physical, emotional and strength that she needs from her husband, God will not provide.

This will take some time for her to understand. You'll need to talk about the ministry with her and gently minister to her the importance of doing the LORDS work. This will take some time to sink in, so your going to remain patient and understanding. It's not something you bombard her with, here a little there a little. Read the bible together. Do things together, establish that relationship, do the laundry. These things all attribute to good sound relationships. And pray for your wife that she comes into this understanding, and pray for yourself that you love her in a greater measure as Christ loves the Church and died for it.

It's a hard pill to swallow but it's something that you must decide.

You as a friend won't like it because that will mean that he won't spend much time with you. I've had that happen to me and it was something that I did not like. But if I felt like that because he wasn't spending as much time with me, how much more did his wife feel the same thing? It was then that I grew up real quick and moved on.

 2009/10/13 15:59
MikeCorral
Member



Joined: 2008/2/26
Posts: 46
Washington, DC

 Re: Good Counsel

Great advice everyone, I will be sure pass along all your helpful experience and guidance, thank you so much.

In His Strength and for His Glory,

Mike


_________________
Michael Corral

 2009/10/13 16:16Profile
hmmhmm
Member



Joined: 2006/1/31
Posts: 4991
Sweden

 Re:

Quote:
You know, that is not true. Paul spent his time in prison and sent 'emails' to the different churches giving them advice and he didn't physically see the situation but he knew by the spirit what was going on. It's a lame excuse to go down that avenue because it give the person a reason to what they are doing by saying, "No one understands my situation". I think that is a cop out, a distraction from the real issue and that is he needs to nurture his relationship with his wife



What can be hard is to give advice when we do not know the situation enough, what i meen is, i would give different advice if the wife was never born again by God, perhaps just religious profession? maybe there are other issues involved that we know nothing about? maybe the wife is not submitting and are making extra demanding claims that are unreal on her husband? may be the husband are ignorant of his wifes needs and so much more that we can only speculate about. It is true Paul gave directions commands and advice to the churches, but if the spirit says to share something i hope we do, but i dont think in any of Pauls letters he did not have some report or letter to respond to, i think he had some information about a situation or something in that church and he addressed those things. we can address these individuals with our advice, but to say "do this" when that advice may in reality be all wrong due to all the facts not been brought out in the light, in these matters its good to have godly elders to seek for guidance face to face.

Myself have been given advice from people about a family situation, i know they meant well and spoke in love, but since they did not know all things their advice where not good and was never to work in real life. That is what i meant when i said all are different. Of course some things is for all, the rule of love and much more.

Anyway, i advice them to seek out God in prayer , and seek counsel from elders that know God and have wisdom about their situation.


_________________
CHRISTIAN

 2009/10/13 16:32Profile
myfirstLove
Member



Joined: 2005/11/26
Posts: 496


 Re:

Deep thinker, I think you are being presumptuos here.

You do not know the couple enough to rightly minister. How do you know its not the woman's fault and she is the one who is selfish and her quality time she wants with her husband is about watching movies together and not being watered in the word? Not saying this is her- we don't know. Marriage is a picture of Christ and the church. The woman joyfully obeys her husband as the church should joyfully obey Christ. And the husband loves the wife like Jesus loves the Church. How does Jesus loves the church. Not by feeding on to her emotion, but always directing her to follow the word no matter what, of corse with humility. Peter praise Sarah for her obedience to her husband and that the women should follow. Please read about Sarah. Most profess christians are not like Sarah and many despise her obedience to her husband because we live in a feminist world. and the spirit of feminism is not only on the most women, but also men.

We need to stop looking at marriage through the eyes of the world with the counseling of the world that seem right, but its not.

Mike, I continue to pray for God to guide you in wisdom in ministering to your friends and that they would be led to elders who can help them biblically.

Peace, Lisa


_________________
Lisa

 2009/10/14 16:30Profile
MaryJane
Member



Joined: 2006/7/31
Posts: 3057


 Re:

Greetings Lisa

You wrote:Most profess christians are not like Sarah and many despise her obedience to her husband because we live in a feminist world. and the spirit of feminism is not only on the most women, but also men.

We need to stop looking at marriage through the eyes of the world with the counseling of the world that seem right, but its not.
__

I agree with you to many view marriage from the worlds point of view. The feminist attitudes that most follow with out even realizing are a real burden to a marriage(my opinion from my own personal experiences at least)

God Bless
maryjane

 2009/10/14 16:58Profile









 Re:

What is the purpose of experience when you can't share it with anyone? Why bother going through anything if all we hear is "No one understands my situation". Why bother saying anything? Why say to another brother, "Hey, I know what your talking about, I've been there". Why bother saying that if all were going to say is , "seek God in prayer".

Did you know that there are Christians that can't seek God? They can't seek Him because they are too wrapped up with themselves or too deeply involved in a situation that they have no idea how to get out of it. God always sends His man to minister reconciliation, rebuke, correction etc..

I am NOT saying that God has sent me to this forum to minister reconciliation, certainly not. I am a tadpole in the midst of Giants on here that are far more experienced, knowledgeable, faithful, and know how to seek and worship God.

We shouldn't excuse our experiences. Paul said that "he became all things to all men that he may win some". When we have experienced depression, or endured cancer treatment, or Prayed and Fasted at length, if we can't talk about these things to encourage one another, what is the point in going through them if all we are saying is, "You don't know the situation". I may not know who Dick and Jane is or their dog Spot, but we should be able to know something.

I am not in defense of what I said, I am in defense of not dissing our experiences as nothing. When I hear Paul West, whom I consider an Elder in the faith, when I hear him tell a story about something that he went through, I sit up and take notice. There are many others that I look up to on this website that if they had not gone through anything, I would have a hard time respecting them.

Thank you for allowing me to rant.

 2009/10/14 22:00





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