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Discussion Forum : Miracles that follow the plow : Husband wants to go witnessing / street preaching / evangelism; Wife wants him to stay home

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Joined: 2003/6/11
Posts: 1519
Santa Cruz California

 Re: Husband wants to go witnessing / street preaching / evangelism; Wife wants him to

Both Taylor and Paul have given wonderful counsel toward this situation.

Allow me to go one step further and say that by going out in spite of his wife's wishes, he is NOT preaching the Gospel to his wife, and is not loving her as Christ loves the Church.

I don't know how much he loves her, but if he really loves her, he will see her as a blessing and a gift from God rather than a hindrance to some ministry he might have.

Too often men believe that they can provide financially for their wives and that should be enough, however the needs that husbands are to meet are much more(emotional, physical, etc.).

He should love his wife and pray for God to do what He will in the situation. Also let him know that if she starts to feel resentment and bitterness because she feels unloved, it will be a VERY hard battle to win it back, and that is IF he can.

patrick heaviside

 2009/10/12 21:30Profile

Joined: 2003/11/23
Posts: 4529


Hi roaringlamb...

I think that this is very good counsel. The short phrase comes to mind in regard to this: "[i]...and they shall be one flesh[/i]" (Genesis 2:24) and "[i]...if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand[/i]" (Mark 3:25).



 2009/10/12 21:37Profile

Joined: 2006/8/25
Posts: 1658
Indiana USA

 Re: Husband wants to go witnessing / street preaching / evangelism; Wife wants him to


I believe John Piper provides good counsel on this subject [url=]here[/url]. He answers the question: What would you say to a couple who feel very differently about the direction their life should take?


 2009/10/12 21:52Profile

Joined: 2008/2/26
Posts: 46
Washington, DC

 Re: John Piper

Outstanding tjservant, thanks! Will send this to him now...

Michael Corral

 2009/10/12 21:55Profile


You have no idea how much I've played this same scenario. My friend was married, complained about his wife and I was single. I understood him, but I didn't understand her. She wanted him home but he was always out with me and I couldn't understand what her problem was. We had great fellowship together. He had the ability to minister and sway people into the kingdom of God, I on the other hand was meek and mild, I'd be back up support. That went on for 5 years, finally after a serious of events, they were divorced.

I KNOW what I am talking about and I've seen this before, that is why I said, there is something wrong with the motive. It all looks good on the surface. But something is wrong. I, his close friend, could not see it, all I saw was my friend and brother and the good work that he was doing and a wife that complained all the time. In the end, she was right.

This will be all that I'll say on the matter, but I am not attacking your friend, so there is no need to defend him. I am merely sharing with you the same exact thing that I have experienced.

That is why Paul the Apostle said that he wished that all men were like himself, single and free from distractions. But when a man is married to a woman, his thoughts and attentions are directed at her. The LORD is not number #1 in his life, the only way that He can is by agreement with his wife that they put the LORD first together.

 2009/10/12 21:56

Joined: 2006/6/15
Posts: 343


God doesn't need you to complete the work of the ministry.

God does want you to be obedient.

He should have never gotten married if he never planned on loving his wife as Christ loved the church.


 2009/10/12 21:58Profile

Joined: 2003/6/11
Posts: 1519
Santa Cruz California



It sounds as if you have been watching my life.

Five years of marriage are now nothing more than a memory, and while there are many things she has done, I know that when we were first married, I put ministry first.

It was almost like I had no wife, and now, I don't.

patrick heaviside

 2009/10/12 22:01Profile

Joined: 2009/5/13
Posts: 74

 Re: Husband wants to go witnessing / street preaching / evangelism; Wife wants him to

I agree with a lot of what's been said. He should try to work things out with his wife. It may be that she is being used of God to keep him from rushing into ministry.

But on the other hand, it may be that the enemy is using her to try to hinder him from preaching the Gospel. If she is [i]constantly[/i] discouraging him from preaching the Gospel anywhwere, which is what it sounds like you're saying, then "we ought to obey God rather than men" (or women).

I know if God wants him to continue in He will confirm it through His Word and circumstances. As has already been sugested, it would be wise to pray about it and seek confirmation from the Lord (if he hasn't already done so).

Having said all that...I must also add that it is a sin on the part of the wife if she continues to rebel against her husband's decisions. It's clear from Scripture that wives are to submit to their husbands (Eph.5:22-24, Col.3:18).
Even IF the husband is wrong, and not being sensitive to the voice of God by rushing into ministry, the wife should still submit to her husband, pray for him, and be there for him if and when God does discipline him for his bad decision.

Was it Studd, or Howell who left their CHILDREN to be raised by others to heed the call of Christ?

It was Rees Howells. [i]Rees Howells: Intercessor[/i] by Norman Grubb is a great biography.

It seems to me this would be a sin in light of Deut. 6 and wouldn't be something to be celebrated.

Taylor, I would be very careful of judging a matter and condemning a brother before knowing all the details. Prov. 18:13 says this is folly and a shame to you.
There are specific reasons why Howells' had to give up their son for a time, and they were clearly guided of the Lord to do so. They hardly need a defense, and this wouldn't be the right place to explain I'll just leave it at that.

 2009/10/12 22:11Profile

Joined: 2005/7/20
Posts: 671
Los Angeles, California


Both arguments have validity and merit - in my opinion the key is balance and prayer - often the solution is found somewhere in the middle rather then on one extreme or the other.

God bless,


Patrick Ersig

 2009/10/12 22:36Profile

Joined: 2007/1/15
Posts: 365

 Re: Husband wants to go witnessing / street preaching / evangelism; Wife wants him to

His wife may be a baby believer, the fact that she's been a Christian for a long time, notwithstanding.

God forbid that we wound His sheep in our zeal for His work!

I would counsel he love her the way she wants to be loved. Then, spend time seeking God's face in the matter. He is faithful; He will show our brother what to do.

I believe the Lord instituted marriage to show humanity what true love looks like. Until each "Christian marriage" is modeling this for the world to see, we may be wasting precious time, trying to be busy in God's vineyard while the primary field He assigns us lies fallow.



 2009/10/12 23:49Profile

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