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MikeCorral
Member



Joined: 2008/2/26
Posts: 46
Washington, DC

 Husband wants to go witnessing / street preaching / evangelism; Wife wants him to stay home

Husband wants to go witnessing / street preaching / evangelism; Wife wants him to stay home:

My friend is married to a believing wife. He says that he taking care of the duties of husband and has not neglected his wife, tells her he loves her often, spends lots of time with her. But she does not want him to go and evangelize on a Saturday nights and or as the Spirit moves him. She wants him to stay home, and not go. Her father and mother are also Christian, but they do not do evangelism, and for the most part stay home and watch TV in the evening. I am single and never married, although I have had many wives before I was born again, I really do not know what advice or help I can give him.

Any ideas? Experience handling similar issues?


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Michael Corral

 2009/10/12 15:24Profile









 When momma ain't happy, no body's happy...but what about Jesus?

At some point he must decide to obey the Lord no matter what. The issue is always a personal one, and does depend on His relationship with the Lord, and the authenticity of his calling.


There are a number of missionaries that went in spite of much opposition from family and friends, and I recall one who left his wife, under her weeping protests, to the mission field...[ she eventually recanted, and became a great helpmate unto him in his efforts.]


Was it Studd, or Howell who left their CHILDREN to be raised by others to heed the call of Christ?


This is not new, and a man should surely not be constrained by his wife to obey the Lord in most circumstances; that is why the Lord gave him headship over his wife, to discern the will of the Lord anyway. [ this right is never to neglect or abuse however ]


Many a good man has lost his calling and destiny in Christ, called to Preach and to GO, only to surrender to the petticoat, and gain relief from the drip of nagging and complaint.


There certainly is a cost to GO, but there may be a greater cost to STAY when confronted with Jesus's true will for our lives.

 2009/10/12 16:29
KingJimmy
Member



Joined: 2003/5/8
Posts: 4419
Charlotte, NC

 Re: Husband wants to go witnessing / street preaching / evangelism; Wife wants him to

Luke 14:26 If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.

Ultimately your friend must make a decision to whom he loves the most. He should speak to his wife in a spirit of humility and with much gentleness about why he is doing what he is doing, and can't just stay home on Saturday night. He should probably even try to persuade her to go with him, or at least stay home and pray for his success and safety while on the streets.


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Jimmy H

 2009/10/12 16:36Profile
TaylorOtwell
Member



Joined: 2006/6/19
Posts: 927
Arkansas

 Re: When momma ain't happy, no body's happy...but what about Jesus?

Quote:
Was it Studd, or Howell who left their CHILDREN to be raised by others to heed the call of Christ?



It seems to me this would be a sin in light of Deut. 6 and wouldn't be something to be celebrated.

I actually would suggest he stay home with his wife until they can work it out. His witness as a street preacher means nothing if he has a strained marriage with his wife.

With care in Christ...


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Taylor Otwell

 2009/10/12 18:04Profile
myfirstLove
Member



Joined: 2005/11/26
Posts: 496


 Re: Husband wants to go witnessing / street preaching / evangelism; Wife wants him to

Good word brother Tom and kingjimmy.

I have witness many times of husbands following their wives instead of wives following their husband and because of this i have seen it brought much toiling hard under the sun (the curse).

husbands are not fit for true discipleship if they listen to their wives above God.

remember why adam was cursed? the bible says that because Adam took heed to the voice of his wife instead of the lord (gen.3:10-19)

women are made to be the helpmate not man for the woman.

maybe the wife needs help in understanding who she is in christ. and as the husband he should maybe sit down with her and help her see her rebellion, of corse in humility that she may fear the Lord.

I know the Lord has in the past help me to understand the evil of being a stumbling block to my husband and that cause me to have godly fear. praise the lord i have learned to follow my husband no matter the cost and our family have been spiritual bless! yes, husband's do make mistakes at times, and if my husband makes a mistake in going where the Lord has not called him too, i have seen God faithfully turn him to the right road that he should go.

If, only wives knew how much their husband would feel so confident in their leadership role, if they would just allow their husbands to lead wherever and let them make mistakes and see them grow more through their mistakes. god is faithful to train our men in the right way! when we let our husbands go, the lord does use the wives a lot more as real help mate to help the husband run hard after the lord for him and his family. god will give wives more wisdom to encourage and exhort her husband!



but, it seems most wives are scared to have their comfort broken and living a not so normal american lifestyle.


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Lisa

 2009/10/12 18:51Profile
PaulWest
Member



Joined: 2006/6/28
Posts: 3405
Dallas, Texas

 Re:

Quote:
I actually would suggest he stay home with his wife until they can work it out. His witness as a street preacher means nothing if he has a strained marriage with his wife.


I agree.

It may be that God is allowing his wife to protest as a preventative measure. Many believers embark upon ministries which God Himself has not yet qualified them for. When a believer is entering into the will of God, doors that are closed have a tendency to open, and doors that are being jimmied prematurely have a tendency to remain closed. It sounds like this might be one of those premature doors.

I can only speak from experience. If the wife of a believer is saying "no", he should respect her wishes and pray, for chances are the Lord is allowing such friction for a reason. In either case, God will value his sensitivity and all things will eventually work together for all good. What use is it to serve God only to come home to bitterness and resentment? According to Peter, such situations will actually hinder the prayers of the husband and wife. For this reason, we as husbands ought to dwell with our wives according to [i]knowledge[/i] - which often equates to giving honor unto them as unto the weaker vessel.

My experience has been that God often uses the [i]weaker[/i] to bring to nought the plans of the stronger.


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Paul Frederick West

 2009/10/12 18:59Profile









 Re:

Yes taylor and paul are correct.

I would add that maybe a compromise of every other friday night or saturday night he goes out. Not every saturday night.
Also Saturday night is the night before sunday church. From that perspective the wife may feel overwelmed a bit getting the family ready etc. so needs hubby rested and ready for sunday morn.

Also make sure to take wife out on date once every 2-3 weeks at least.

I speak as one who failed miserably in all the above.

 2009/10/12 19:04
MikeCorral
Member



Joined: 2008/2/26
Posts: 46
Washington, DC

 Re: He should probably even try to persuade her to go with him

I did mention about bringing her, and he has, but what he had told me was that she says “that all she does is watch him,” and in a complaining manner. Before I posted this, they had argued, and he told me that he could not go today, shortly after us making plans to go out street preaching and sharing the Gospel. After posting this, he called me back, and said that she was going to stay late at school / college, so that he could go if he wanted too (her desire was for them to spend more time together when she got home from school).

So we went to the streets of DC today and spent a few hours preaching and sharing the Gospel. I am glad we went, there was a GREAT conversation with one man, his name is Mario, and I think the Holy Spirit was doing His thing. Personally, I didn’t do much, just passed out tracts, video taped my friend preaching, and I spoke to few people about the Gospel, however, I do not feel it went anywhere, but the conversation between Mario and my friend went well, they exchanged emails, and if I hear more about Mario, I will be sure to post it here.

So posting here was successful to getting us out there today, but this was only one day. So any more helpful experience or advice I can pass along to my friend would be greatly appreciated, and help us to keep on going together, often and regularly.


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Michael Corral

 2009/10/12 19:12Profile









 Re:

I've seen this type of scenario before and the best thing that he should do is to be with the wife. The Gospel can wait, it would be foolish for him to save souls when his marriage needs to be saved as well.

Yes, his marriage will need to be saved. It's already starting to go down, just by the fact that he is complaining to you about his wife is room for alarm. He shouldn't be complaining at all. No wonder she complains, he's doing it too. It's the old story about wanting to be with the guys instead of home with the wife. The preaching of the gospel is pulled into it to make it seem legit. Oh he can preach, and draw a crowd and see people saved, but there is something wrong with this picture.

No, I feel the motive is not right, something is wrong with the motive.

 2009/10/12 19:31
MikeCorral
Member



Joined: 2008/2/26
Posts: 46
Washington, DC

 Re: motive is not right, something is wrong with the motive

My friend’s only motive, as far as I can tell, is to share the Gospel in accordance with Scripture. We were and have been mocked, heckled, and it has been a challenge, to do open air preaching and sharing the Gospel. Even on the car ride back from DC, our sole conversation was on us working today, and as usual, our conversations are usually about theology. And when we are not talking theology or about the Bible, or talking about Jesus Christ, we are talking about how horrible sinners we are, praying for each other, and rejoicing and speaking of Grace , and of the Holy Spirit. So it’s not really the old story of guys wanted to be together, and my friend really desires his wife to be with him when he goes, and to be on fire for Christ as he is.

To be honest, I feel she is like most Christians, and especially with women (no offense intended), they look and talk the talk, but are not truly saved. Paul Washer’s wife, Charo I believe her name is, her testimony is a great example of this. It’s here on Sermon Index if you get a chance to check it out. But in general and from what I have seen, most women, especially those that were raised in a Christian home, and have been to Church all their life, and has pretty much done every thing that a Christian is supposed to do behavior and dress wise, but never being on the wrong side the street, just the “right” side of the street and looking over to the other side in disgust, and thinking to themselves that they would never do that, and because they look like everyone else within the Church, that they are on the right side and are Christian. The thing is, we are no different than those that do walk on the wrong side the street, all have sinned, none are right in the eyes of God, we are all sinners, and in desperate need of a Savior, whether we have committed one sin or a hundred and one, we are all condemned by sin, whether our doing or Adam’s doing, and we are all separated from God. That’s what sanctified means, set apart, we are apart from God, separated by sin. I know this to be a sad fact, but there are many in the Church today, who claim to be Christian and believe in God, but have never been broken by Him, they are like the ones that survived the wilderness, but were never bitten by the fiery serpents. And they can say all the right things, and because they do not break the 10 commandments or any instruction given by the Churches they attend, they have never experienced anything similar to being truly born again. In my experience, I find the example where Jesus teaches us that those that have been forgiven much, love much. In the case of my friend’s wife, it appears that she has not been forgiven for much, because she feels that she has walked in God’s ways from her youth. Until we are shown by the Holy Spirit how ugly we really are, and for my friend and I, we have been forgiven much, beyond much really, to much in my book and I feel undeserving of God’s Grace, that we are filled with so many things like guilt, love, compassion, motivation, disgust with our sins, and are compelled to share the Gospel, and its not just some guys hanging out on a Saturday night. And going out to street preach on Saturday nights sounds like a movie with John Travolta, it’s more like Saturday evenings, from around 4 pm to 9 pm. In addition, I feel strongly compelled to serve Christ in everyway possible, not to make up for what I have done, because I can’t, but Jesus Christ has done so much for me, how can I possibly say no to someone in need, it would be like saying no to Jesus Himself, and we truly are lost without Him, my debt is great, oh Grace, how great a debtor. Furthermore, there is no such thing as death, you either go to Heaven for all eternity or to Hell for all eternity, and Hell is not just you being dead or out of Heaven, but it is a place where the worm does not die and the fire is never quenched and it is eternal, and it’s not an end, but is a beginning and it lasts forever. And unless every Christian is guilty of not having a gift from the Holy Spirit to be able to share the Gospel or do evangelism, we are one of the few Christians who have this special gift to do evangelism (Biblical sarcasm here, for a good Biblical example of this, please see: 1 Samuel 15:10-23, for there is no specific gift called evangelism given by the Holy Spirit). And as such, we either need to exercise the gift we have been given, or share the Good News as commanded by Christ. Hey we are a product of the revival that Sermon Index is working towards to, we are the next generation of evangelist, move over Spurgeon!


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Michael Corral

 2009/10/12 21:06Profile





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