A good cry is in order. You just need to cry your heart out to the LORD and let Him lift you up. Go to your bedroom, flop face down and just start crying, let it out, tell God just how you feel about this whole thing. Stay there until you sense the peace of God. The bible says to "cast our cares on Him for He careth for you".

Can you stretch out your hand by faith and just believe that? I had to.

And Yes there is an end. Let me tell you a story, and for the love of God listen to what I am telling you. We go through these things so we can be a light to others.

I was very much where you were. I told you this before but your not heeding to what I am telling you. You have to believe God for yourself, no one can do it for you. You don't need to FEEL God to know that He loves you, get that in your mind, settle it. You've been around people who are used by the devil to convince you that the word of God is not to be trusted, RUN FROM THEM. If they are your friends, find new one's that will do you some good, better to be lonely than to be in the company of fools. "For the fool hath said in his heart there is no God".

Repeat these words to yourself. I BELIEVE GOD. When the enemy of doubt comes against you, speak these words to them, I BELIEVE GOD. I have told you before but your unwilling to fight. I too was unwilling to fight. It seemed hopeless and pointless, but you have to start some where and I had to learn the hard way.

I seem harsh and I am because that is what you need. If we were to be soft we'd keep playing this game for ever. Your never going to be free from the torment until you take a stand. And we are praying for you, but you have to do your part. Apart of coming into agreement is believing, and believing carries with it the act of doing.

So what if you fail, big deal, we all fail, but we cry out to God again and again and again until we get stronger, because His strength is made perfect in weakness. Isn't that wonderful? Your in a neat place because you think your weak, but He is strong on your behalf.

When you were a baby learning how to walk, you fell many many times, and Mom or Dad was there to pick you up each time. IF EARTHLY PARENTS CAN DO THAT HOW MUCH MORE OUR HEAVENLY FATHER????

Ask the LORD to give you friends that will do you good. He will most likely send you older men and women, don't reject them, they are for your good. In time as you get stronger, He will add friends of our own age group that are like minded.

But you do need to get with a church environment that believes in healing, laying on of hands, deliverance and good solid bible teachings.

Don't think about it, DO IT!

i am willing to turn it over to him.

I understand, words can never fully express the anguish and dread that someone feels over the uncertainty of his eternal destiny. It is like a nightmare that suspends his soul in a paralyzing agony.

Deep in his being is a profound feeling of emptiness, like a dry and barren land haunted by ominous and dark spirits.

There will be times that there are thoughts of just dying, giving-up, or simply forget all these things but where are we to go, we know we can go nowhere except to God_ or else to the vain pursuit of life.

...Psa 102:2 Do not hide your face from me in the day of my distress! Incline your ear to me; answer me speedily in the day when I call!

Psa 102:3 For my days pass away like smoke, and my bones burn like a furnace.

Psa 102:4 My heart is struck down like grass and has withered; I forget to eat my bread.

Psa 102:5 Because of my loud groaning my bones cling to my flesh.

Psa 102:6 I am like a desert owl of the wilderness, like an owl of the waste places;

Psa 102:7 I lie awake; I am like a lonely sparrow on the housetop.

Psa 102:8 All the day my enemies taunt me; those who deride me use my name for a curse.

Psa 102:9 For I eat ashes like bread and mingle tears with my drink,

Psa 102:11 My days are like an evening shadow; I wither away like grass...

Well, what you are passing right now is like_ groping in the dark, in a very bad dream, hold on, pray hard, it will clear-up, it may take time but the Lord will give you strength until this is over.

Like Abraham in his way to an unknown land, just believe in God and with a humble and trusting spirit lay your troubles before Him.

I would like to tell everyone something slightly encouraging. today i went to the forest preserve knowing i was still hardened in faith and i was by myself. I laid out on the ground and began to read my gideons bible at mark ch. 11 verse 13-36, i do not know if it was God telling me to read it or not but that verse popped in my head, i read it and i felt the lord spoke to me through it, and since then i have seen that i once was healed for believing on christ physically but now i feel the lord urging me to believe for the salvation of soul and to be forgiven of my sins. I have asked for his help in that but since then i feel as if i have been given back a measure of faith, not saving faith but i feel he has helped me believe a little more, it is very encouraging for me because i lately have felt so hardened, i have even had anger towards the word of God but today now i want to read it. I just want to be saved but i am praying for him to help me believe. I just wanted to tell you all about this.

i

Dear Bible1985,

Today I found this little note I had made to myself, in an old bible I picked up to read. This is what is says:

"Faith does not feed on doubts but on the promises of God."

_________________
Linda