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Discussion Forum : Welcome & Intro : to be or not to be...?

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Joined: 2009/5/17
Posts: 6

 to be or not to be...?

hey,it's great to find people who seem happy to talk about spiritual stuff. Not easy to find in the real world.
This is probably a really heavy question but has anyone else ever had the thought that the millions of people who are born into a world that naturally seems to run according to "The Prince of this world" (ie satan) with an inherent sinful nature, with a slim chance of having the gospel meaningfully communicated to them,and that must become outsiders die to themselves and becoming something wholly other (ie a child of God) in order to take hold of true life and escape eternal torment, would be a whole lot better off having never existed. Given the odds involved and the horror that is Hell, don't you think it's just better not to take the risk? I don't mean from God's point of view, cos of course such things are validated by his glory, but from ours. Personally if I get married some day I'm no way having kids. that's my personal choice though and of course children are a blessing. It's just the whole eternity thing is pretty serious when you think about it. I'm curious to know if i'm alone in these thoughts...

 2009/5/17 14:08Profile

Joined: 2009/1/16
Posts: 393

 Re: to be or not to be...?


I have thought the exact things over heavily repeatedly.

I also if I ever marry plan on not having children for this very reason among others.

You are in line with what Paul was saying to the Corinthians.

There is also another side to the coin though.

I have seen some blessed families.

There is also just trusting God that He will work things out.

Still though it is a hard thing to wrestle with and one may need a word from God on the subject.

I think though that possibly the emphasis should be on the spiritual. Having spiritual children.

Or even start orphanages or something.

But, again it is also about calling. As God calls some to marry he also calls some to have children.

 2009/8/29 22:09Profile

Joined: 2009/6/14
Posts: 703


Whether to marry or not to marry; whether to have children or not --- all these alternative choices are acceptable in God's sight. What is most important is that anyone making such important decisions should pray fervently and seek God's will, and not simply act based personal feelings, doubts or fears. Each of us is called to a special purpose, for each of us God has a special plan, and we must each endeavor to follow that plan.

I myself am happily married (20 years) with three wonderful children whom my wife and I are lovingly and prayerfully leading to God.

Pr 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.

Ps 127:3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.

 2009/8/30 0:38Profile

 Re: to be or not to be...?

Hi littlmermaid,

I believe the power of the word of God is what makes the difference. I had a longer post which did not load (from an internet cafe), so here are the scriptures I had in mind.

Rom 10:17, James 3:4, John 3:19, Eph 2:2, 3, and Matt 7:13.

The person who preaches, or shares the gospel, [i][b]must[/i][/b] believe what they are saying, and speak out truth from the written word of God, which will open the ears of the hearer, prick the conscience, arouse faith, and, stir the heart to respond according to the hope which rises at the same time as conviction - John 16:8, 9.

 2009/8/30 7:28

Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7504

 Re: to be or not to be...?

would be a whole lot better off having never existed. Given the odds involved and the horror that is Hell

Logic would say "no". Jesus even said this about Judas that "it would have been been better if he had not been born." But that is not the way things are: people are everyday being born and others die. Everyday. Every second. Where is God in the midst of all this?

Study Romans 1 carefully. There the LORD is saying that God will use nature to reveal himself to people. There are many testimonies of people who have come to the LORD without the ministry of another human being. Some of these never even knew another Christian. Since this is the case, and based on the WORD, I have concluded that God knows those that will respond to the Gospel and he will facilitate that process.

Personally if I get married some day I'm no way having kids.

I have a serious problem with this. When God made Adam and Eve he told them to 'go forth and multiply." This ranks as being among the first commandments given to man. Will you violate this because everything around you looks bad? Where is faith? If you really do not think you want children then DO NOT MARRY!!! I would feel sorry for the fellow you would marry and I would feel sorry for the children that may appear - unless you will kill them by abortion. (And most contraceptives kill.) If you have no love in your heart for children, may I be so bold as to suggest a greater problem exists in your heart? To marry but then choosing to not have children is like legalized fornication. Think about that! You want to have the pleasure in physical intimacy but not the blessings it can bring - all you want is the pleasure.

On the other hand if God has not called you marry, then be content but do not argue this point about not having children because the world looks bad. (The reality is, too, that while some 'Christians' opt to not have children, the ungodly are multiplying via births. So, it would appear the 'Christians' have no faith at all. Are they any different from the world? )

Welcome to SI - hope it will be a vehicle for groweth for you. It has been to me...


Sandra Miller

 2009/8/30 10:09Profile

Joined: 2008/10/27
Posts: 742


This was a question brought up for me at one time. I thought that not having children might be for the best considering some of the things going on, but after much prayer I see now that "in all" things we must trust and have faith in the Lord. I think for me it was a lack of faith that God could handle things, this is something that I have repented of. I don't want to be in charge of the decision of my life any longer, I want Jesus to be, He will do a much more capable job then I anyway:-)

Ginnyrose wrote: "And most contraceptives kill"

I did not know this information until just recently. In some ways I have struggled because I was pregnant while on the pill, I did not know that I was pregnant at the time and I miscarried. It has been really a struggle for me sense learning that most form of contraceptive can and do cause spontaneous abortions to occur. The doctors do not tell you that when they prescribe this stuff.I often think about that little life and feel so sad that I was taking something that may have cause the end of its life. More young women need to know the truth about modern birth control, it really would cause them to think twice before taking it. At least it would have for me...

with care

 2009/8/30 13:41Profile

Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7504


it really would cause them to think twice before taking it. At least it would have for me...

Others have said the same. Detractors will argue that it does not happen [i]all[/i] the time: just [i]sometimes or not often[/i]..a dead zygote is a dead one still. Anyhow...

About children, what do they do for the parent? This is a point that is usually overlooked by parenting experts. Children help the parents to grow up and mature. You learn to be tolerant, be loving, clean up nasty messes cheerfully, get up in the wee hours of the night to tend to a child and do it without complaint. You work yourself to death to provide for your children, you surrender your own personal desires for the benefit of the family. You learn to think of others first. This life of selfless love is grown into by degrees: it does not happen in one year or with just one or two children. It takes several children and years. Then about the time they all leave the nest, you have another set of issues to deal with. The point is with a spouse and children you are always in a learning mode IF you are in a serving mode which is what should have happened when you married. It is not bad but good. I look back to what I was like when I married and I am appalled I was so ignorant, selfish and proud.

Yes, married life is a life of learning, and children intensify this process. The most important thing one learns is your need for the guidance of the Holy Spirit: can't do it by yourself.


Sandra Miller

 2009/8/30 15:29Profile

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