Forgive me, but I've wanted to post this all week. When I came back to the Lord after 15 years, I read, prayed and sought the promises of Ezekiel 36:25-27. And God forgave me!
Verse 25 stated God would cleanse me from all filthiness and all my idols. In 15 years of lawless ness, I had heaping helpings of both. What was so cool, was the idols I loved, God took the love of them away, and I really desired to do away with them. But one idol, well, I resisted. Even when the Lord led me to drop it, I didn't. I instead justified it. Then one day, I suddenly wasn't convicted about it any longer. Praise the Lord!
Then my nights became times of confusion. My dreams were either confused, or unspeakable evil, and I would waken crying out to God. " Lord, why is this happening?" Suddenly I was so touchy about anything that happened. I set off the alarm in the Walmart, and the greeter started digging through our basket full of groceries. And he kept digging, and digging, in front of the weekend crowd and I got angry. And I behaved like a sinner. Then one day I was on my bike, and a 18 wheeler got about 3' off my tail. And in anger, I cursed him.
I was heartbroken. I cried out to God, " Where did that come from, Lord? I don't talk like that!" I grieved the rest of the day. That night, an evangelist was preaching, and in my heart I prayed, "Lord, please let him show me what to do." But the preacher's message was not my answer. In spiritual agony, I flipped my bible open and saw this verse, Psalms 32:8, " I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you with my eye upon you."
And then I was free. That night, after praying, I told my wife I had to get rid of my idol. My idol(s) were my firearms. I loved them. I enjoyed shooting them, cleaning them, reading about them, and studying how to be even better with them. God asked me, if someone attacked me, would I shoot them? The old me would have in a skinny second. The new me said no, Lord. Then the Lord instructed me to read Matthew 5, 6, and 7. And I did, several times a day. And He opened my eyes to a walk with Him I'd never seen before.
Sorry to take up so much time, and thanks for reading. Maybe the folks here will understand my actions. The folks that sold me guns and ammo, and now that are buying them back think I'm crazy, but I'm filled with joy! As the old group Dogwood used to sing, "There's a great , great, joy in Jesus."
In Christ, Don