o, God, i believe this, only please help my unbelief!
brethren, please pray over me. i have been loathe to post this because really i just feel like an idiot. but it is a need, and i cannot bear this alone. i've no more energy for it anymore.
i just really have a heart to be given in marriage, and the Lord is choosing not to do so for now, or maybe even for life, i don't know, and i am like hannah in it. i cry out to Him daily over it, i lay down the idol daily, and sometimes several times in a day. God is good, and worthy of all praise and worship. by His grace, i am praising God for His perfect will but also i cry to Him to plead for a husband, in the same way hannah poured out her soul to God asking for a child.
now, as for my request, it is that you would pray He strengthens me for battle; the enemy taunts me with this night and day, in many, many ways, as well as my flesh tormenting me with needs and insecurities. i am fighting but growing so weary. i need His strength so much.
i want to glorify God, i want to live in worship of Him. i want my heart set on Him above! it is His goodness that prevents a man from redeeming me, and i want to celebrate that! and sometimes i do, but not nearly enough. these are the things i would ask you to pray over me. i have been bought with precious, holy blood of the Lamb, so then how could i ask for yet more than that? oh, please pray fiercely over me that i would long for only Him. it is a wonderful learning time, i am truly grateful. i know i must be confromed to His image and learn to truly worship Him, and so with a glad heart i praise Him for this!!! but i plead your prayers over me for consistent worship and love to Christ.
pray He works the me out of me and leaves only His devoted bond-servant!!
please pray, for i know that i can do all things, but only through Him Who can strengthen me. He is my everything, only i need and desire to live that reality with a full heart.
thank you, you guys are such a blessing.