I'm in a courtship with a Godly woman but all of a sudden I'm unsure. I definitely want to marry her but now I have unrest, uneasiness and a lack of peace.

Is it usually fear of commitment/marriage or is God telling me something? Not to sound like a third grader but we both love each other and we love the Lord even more...so what's the problem??

Has anybody ever exerienced this?

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Leonardo Santana

God gives you the freedom to marry whom you choose given it is within his moral law. In other words, the person is a believer and is of the opposite sex.

After that, generally, you should listen to wise counselors that know your both, as well as your parents input.

The Bible never speaks of waiting for special revelation for whom to marry. In 1st Corinthians 7, Paul states that you have the freedom to get married to whom you chose, though only in the Lord (marrying a believer).

If you have some specific topic that you are uneasy about, then that's something you could address. However, if it's just some ambigious "uneasy" feeling, I would say it could be normal. Marriage is a big responsibility. But, the Lord gives grace to his people. Courting and marriage is too serious a subject to play by your feelings alone.

You said it yourself, you love her. And, you both love the Lord. You are free to do what you think is wise and honorable.

With care in Christ,
Taylor

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Taylor Otwell

I'm not a 5-point Calvinist... however, since God knew my children since the beginning of time I have to think that God chose my wife for me.

I dont know how theologically accurate that is... I'm kinda shooting in the dark on this.

Krispy

Taylor, I think you just saved my marriage before the marriage, =) Not you, but the Word. I feel so relieved now man. I feel like if I marry the wrong girl, I might be outside of God's will or something.

Krispy, I think I know what your saying. God chose this girl for me right?

PS- I was really touched by your born-again again experience man. Seriously. Something clicked in me with that.

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Leonardo Santana

To balance my post with Krispy's.

I agree with him.

I wasn't trying to say that God doesn't know who your wife will be. But, he doesn't choose to reveal that to us. Our Lord has a revealed will (the Bible) and a secret will (what he will do in time that is not made known to us now). The Lord never tells us to seek out his secret will (Deut 29:29). But, we are simply to walk in light of his revealed will, obeying the things he has taught us.

With care in Christ,
Taylor

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Taylor Otwell

Santana,

If I can be of more service to you, please let me know. I will even talk with you on the phone if you would like.

As long as you are keeping the Lord's commands regarding marriage (Purity, honoring all involved, marrying a believer) - you're free. It's not a freedom to sin, but a freedom to honor the Lord. You can choose whom to marry. If you want to marry this girl, and she loves the Lord, go for it! Marriages between believers honor the Lord.

If you can grasp this concept in your life, not just in this area, but in all areas, it will set you free from much guilt brother.

With care in Christ,
Taylor

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Taylor Otwell

"Just one word from heaven and you'll never be the same."

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Leonardo Santana

Actually, it is better for a man to NOT marry!
How does that work into God's "will?"

Of course, there is nothing wrong with being married. He who has found a wife has found a GOOD thing...and will receive favor from the Lord. Remember, God created the first wife! He told man to be fruitful and multiply.

I will say this: Be very careful about entering into a marriage covenant. You are only supposed to do this once! I know people who were "sure" that their girlfriend was "chosen by God" only to figure out later that it just wasn't meant to be (either their girlfriend dumped them...or their wife left them...or they simply found that the woman wasn't the person that God might have wanted for them).

I would simply ask that you pray. It is possible that this uneasiness that you feel might very well be the prompting of the Lord! On the other hand, it might simply be a case of "cold feet." I will pray that you have an assurance from the Lord either way...but I would caution you not to act until you have that assurance.

I am praying for you, brother.

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Christopher

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Taylor Otwell