I find God so amazing, how he answers our prayers, but in ways that are different from what we expected. This is what happened to me this weekend.
First, here's some background. I have a health issue which is a challenge to me. In 1994, I was diagnosed with a growth on my jaw (non cancerous) and this was removed, and an artificial joint was put in place of my natural joint on the right side. You could say I'm the bionic man now. :-D
Thankfully, I have less severe pain now, after the operation, but because of scar tissue, and damage to my other jaw joint, I still battle with pain on a daily basis. I work at a job which involves much typing and consider myself blessed to have this job. The difficulty is that pain in my jaw travels to my hands, and makes typing, and especially repetitive movements on the computer, very uncomfortable. Some days, I feel like I am just barely able to get through the work day.
This weekend, my pastor preached on the topic of 'Trusting God'. One statement he made caught my attention. He said, "Many of you believe that generally you are obeying God, but are you trusting him ?" So I felt renewed in my desire to trust God more, and to relinquish control of my life to Him.
Here's some more background. Last week, I had a discussion with a coworker which involved some differences of opinion being shared, as to how best to accomplish some things at work. I had been trying to think through how I was going to discuss this issue with him, in a way that would enable him to understand my point of view better. Then God changed the agenda on me. He broke me, and reminded me that winning a debate was not important, but maintaining a friendship was.
When I called this thread the gift of brokenness, that's a bit of a misnomer. Our flesh never welcomes brokenness. It's only after the Holy Spirit has worked a tenderness in my heart that I am able to see brokenness as a gift. When Paul addressed the Corinthian church, this was the very thing he was wanting to see in them. "See what great earnestness godly sorrow has produced in you." 2 Corinthians 7:11
As humans, we by nature want to feel, 'self confident', on top of things and on top of our game. But God wants us Christ confident. Our self confidence is like a structure that has been cobbled together by gluing together bits of trash we've found on a junk pile. It might hold together for a while- but it's still a piece of junk, even if it's made to look like a piece of art.
God is so faithful to remind us of his priorities and purposes.