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Discussion Forum : Scriptures and Doctrine : Can God reveal to you your future spouse?

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Joined: 2007/10/5
Posts: 14

 Re: God is in control

There is a verse in Scripture that says

Luke 7:47
"For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little."

I understand from numerous encounters, situations, circumstances and answers to prayer, even dating back to my adolescent years (I'm in my mid 20s) that this person will be my future wife; so this is not a once off revelation. I recall in one instance I lost a flight and was forced to stay in the hotel that night, I asked God why and the answer I accepted to be from God for me personally was this "If I said yes once, I who knows the past, present and future therefore I will not take my word back no matter what troubles come ahead of you, my yes now is an ultimate final yes in the future". Needless to say that many troubles have come our way since then and it's a miracle that we are still aspiring to be with each other despite the many hardships.

She is my first girlfriend if we can call her that and I wouldn't say I dated her, rather that I courted her with marriage in mind.

Straying in the sense that she is being influenced by another friend of hers to do things in a rational, logical but worldly mannerism and I stray because of the frustration of not being able to do anything about it. I will admit that gradually I am becoming stronger and that this too has been beneficial to my spiritual growth in ways I would never have imagined despite my falls God eventually has helped me back up

It almost seems that logically if it hasn't worked until now from a humanistic point of view I (or both of us) should have moved on already but if I try moving on and I have tried convincing myself to move on I lose all my peace and all the verses in the Bible that speak about forgiveness and love come to mind and furthermore that God has shown me mercy undeserved. How can this be God's plan if the climb is so steep, tiring and seemingly without progress? The mountain top cannot be seen because of the clouds and when we pass the clouds there are clouds higher still giving the impression there is no mountain top. Sometimes it seems a small hill would have had better results and sooner but if the mountain were smooth like a hill we couldn't climb it.

I don't know what the future holds, I am currently going through a difficult trial because I can't accept her to continue being friends with this guy that in my opinion gives her worldly counsel and tears down everything that I try to build in her that is godly but she doesn't want to let go of a friend however she won't let go of me either.

Surely God is in control and surely He would not let this to destroy me or should I begin to doubt and think satan is at work? but rather that somehow it will work for good even if the fog settles across my path and I can't see the finishing line apart from resting on God's word during my prayer in that hotel room that His yes will not change because He knows the future. It's easy for God to say but if I could see what He can see but if I could then I wouldn't need faith would I?

If I try walking away, God won't give me peace and if I stay I become frustrated with that guy and this spills out in our communication and in order to prevent hurting each others feelings we withdraw from each other. However the withdrawal adds more to the frustration and hurt.

I've seen God being faithful in extremely difficult situations and I liken my situation with Lazarus in the grave but Jesus has not come to Bethany yet because His time has not come and therefore my time has not come either. At this point the relationship is as good as dead... until Jesus speaks a word of life

Even a short sigh on my behalf to our Loving Heavenly Father would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

D. C.

 2008/8/12 21:10Profile

 Re: A Potential Mate

I think you may find some good advice at this link

 2008/8/13 0:14

Joined: 2007/10/5
Posts: 14


I'd like to thank you for the link, it was very informative. While I agree it is very useful I beg to ask the question if God is tied to these man-made suggestions and criteria that have at the core the happiness of self rather than the well being of another person.

The prophet Hosea married a woman of his choice it seems but God told him she must be a harlot. God had the well being in mind not only of harlot but the well being of the whole nation through the example of the married life of Hosea. Let's not forget despite Hosea's much heartache over a extended period of time, Hosea's ultimate good was also in God's mind. His eternal reward no doubt will be great.

Supposing this is my calling in life to intercede for this one person especially... and if I fail because I reject God's will? What good would it have been if through me thousands are saved but I have not achieved God's calling on my life? Is God easily impressed by numbers or rather by obedience? What's to say that this person alone is precious in the eyes of God? After all the person who helped Billy Graham turn to Christ may not have helped many others turn to Christ but supposing they had given up on Billy Graham because the results were not instant?
She might be just another person and life might be hard (then again it might get a lot better) but if this is God's will I'll have a great reward in Heaven should I submit; Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning...

Samuel's words for Saul:

But Samuel replied:
"Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
and to heed is better than the fat of rams.

For rebellion is like the sin of divination,
and arrogance like the evil of idolatry.
Because you have rejected the word of the LORD,
he has rejected you as king."

I'd also like to thank those who prayed for me. I especially felt being prayed for about 20 hours ago. Once again thank you and if it's not too much to ask please continue to sustain this cause in prayer. May God bless you with what He knows best

D. C.

 2008/8/14 0:57Profile

Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7504


I can't accept her to continue being friends with this guy that in my opinion gives her worldly counsel and tears down everything that I try to build in her that is godly but she doesn't want to let go of a friend however she won't let go of me either.

Son, whatever you do, remember you are not this girl's 'Savior'; God is. This may help you to know how to relate to her - with the Holy Spirit's inspiration.

From the practical point of view, it just might be you do need to quit trying and let God do the work for you - you have already experienced your inability to effect change. And this is a reflection of the reality of life: we cannot bring about change in others. Period.

And do not think for one minute that if you were to get married, she would change because 'now she belongs to me'. Don't work, son. If the heart is elsewheres it will still be there: a wedding ceremony will not change that.

I know these are some hard words, but remember it is far better to wish you were married then wish you weren't.


Sandra Miller

 2008/8/14 9:06Profile


Ginny is right... part of the wedding vows is "forsaking all others". If your relationship is heading toward marriage and she cant put that into practice now, how can she later?


 2008/8/14 12:17

Joined: 2006/7/31
Posts: 3057


I have to agree with both Ginny and Krispy. If she in unwilling to let this other guy go now she will not suddenly have a change of heart after your married. Three people in a marriage is not how God intended.IF she allows his opinions to influence her now how much worse will it be for you after marriage when children are possibly involved.

God Bless

 2008/8/14 12:36Profile

Joined: 2007/10/5
Posts: 14

 Re: Glory to God in the highest

It has finally hit me what you mean when you say

[b][size=medium] it is far better to wish you were married, than wish you weren't[/size][/b]

I really appreciate your input, it does shed light on my situation and brings me rest.

D. C.

 2008/8/14 22:32Profile

Joined: 2005/1/14
Posts: 2164



wisevirgin wrote:
I think you may find some good advice at this link

Thanks for the link. I enjoyed looking through it. Marriage is a tough decision. It makes me nervous even knowing that it's a possibility in my life... and I don't even really know who that lady might be!

Josh Parsley

 2008/8/14 23:51Profile

Joined: 2007/4/25
Posts: 1563
Scotland, UK


Seen this post and it grapped my attention because of my personal testimony regarding this subject.

I was a teenager my age was 14 I did not know God and was not seeking him.

My Mother who was a Christian came into my room one night when I was sleeping. I could see there was something she wanted to say so I asked her what is wrong.

She said God spoke to me tonight and he wants me to tell you something. I asked her what is it. She then proceeded to tell me what God wanted to say.

After a lot of tears of happiness and hugging she got up to leave my bed. I ask did he tell you anything else. She said yes you'll be married to a woman who has been married before and has two children.

I asked can this be right she then went on to speak about a law of Moses.

11 years later I married this woman. She is everyhting I would want. She loves me greatly and I love her greatly. She is evrything I could ask for in a woman.

I would like to encourage everyone who desires to be married that God has your perfect partner for you he will lead your steps to find that person. I did not seek to find this woman in fact I had forgotten all about what God had said until after I met her.

Hopes this encourages them that are looking for there partner.

Colin Murray

 2008/8/15 16:44Profile

Joined: 2007/10/28
Posts: 1232
United States


it is far better to wish you were married, than wish you weren't

why is this?
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 1 Cor 7:8

I confess I have not wanted to ever get married. But I feel as though God keeps saying not your will but mine.

I go back and forth what is best.



 2009/4/6 19:51Profile

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