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Spitfire
Member



Joined: 2004/8/3
Posts: 633


 I Walked The Plank!

Hello SI Friends. I haven't posted or been on this site in a long time because I've been offended with the tenor of what I find here, in the same way I've been deeply grieved for what I see everywhere coming out of so-called Christians. Everyday I cry and my heart is grieved because the glory of God is cast aside for someone else's agenda. [i][b]This[/b][/i] is what grieves me everyday of my life. I walk around with the grief at the pain of this life and the painful knowledge that much of so-called Christiandom is filled with mixture...They want to be identified as "saved", but they want to love this world.

But yesterday.......I met a Real Christian. It was a normal day. I was working and I felt a burden to go by to see a couple with whom I attend a Bible Study. When I arrived at their home, they were happy to see me and urged me to stay awhile for they were expecting another visitor, a man which they had met the day before in Walmart. They told me he was an older gentleman who was a greeter at Walmart who is a Messianic Jew. They were excited for me to meet him because, they said, "this guy is the real deal!"

When the man arrived, he looked like a geek. He must have had 30 pencils in his pockets and he was carrying an armful of notebooks and papers. He greeted me warmly and launched into his personal testimony of a radical salvation which had ended his marriage of 30 something years. His wife tried to have him committed as insane. He lost his job as a hazardous chemical technician, but the joy of God was oozing out of his pores as he shouted.....

"I walked the plank and believed in Jesus Christ!"

I was stunned. Honestly, it almost scared me. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote it across the entire piece of paper....

[b]I WALKED THE PLANK![/b]

As I awoke this morning early, I lay in bed with that phrase running through my head and I thought of Jonah. I pictured scenes in my head from movies where the evil pirates make someone walk the plank and then how their body just plunges straight down into the deeps. I thought about that line..."seaweed was wrapped around my head"...and I began to pray...

God, I want to walk the plank. I want to plunge into the depths of You. I want the seaweed to wrap around my head and choke everything out of me that is not of you. I want your water to fill my lungs and I want to pass into unconsciousness of myself. I want to be swallowed up by you. I want you to spit me out onto the shore of your will for me. But God, let me walk through the city of sinners with your view of them. Give me grace God, to believe....and to lose my life for the sake of the gospel.

Oh!!! In the words of Art Katz..."Children! Children! (sob)

 2008/5/24 6:20Profile
Spitfire
Member



Joined: 2004/8/3
Posts: 633


 Re: I Walked The Plank!

After I posted that first message, I wrote a poem:

I am a missing person
My friends, they search for me
I lost myself in Jesus Christ

I fell off the ledge of mediocrity
And now I'm falling, falling
To my death....His life

I feel the wind blow
I see the ground below
I smack the rocks on my way down
I hear the bones crack
I see the Light--Black
Now, I wonder, where will I be found?

May I never be found

She's a missing person
She's a missing person
She's a missing person
Swallowed up by death
Alive to just One Thing

 2008/5/24 9:17Profile
tinluke
Member



Joined: 2005/4/8
Posts: 220
New England USA

 Re: I Walked The Plank!

Quote:
Everyday I cry and my heart is grieved because the glory of God is cast aside for someone else's agenda. This is what grieves me everyday of my life. I walk around with the grief at the pain of this life and the painful knowledge that much of so-called Christiandom is filled with mixture...They want to be identified as "saved", but they want to love this world.




I agree with this statment. The Holy Spirit has told me that I need to get rid of "self preservation" in my life. It's the sin of wanting to maintain a certain image of myself. In Christiandom, we all want to look like we have it altogether at all times. We are more concerned with looking holy and proving how holy we are, that we've become prideful and hardened toward our brothers and sisters. We need to remember, that we're all worms without Christ! We're not going to see revival until we relize how pitiful we all truly are!!!


_________________
tina

 2008/5/24 11:26Profile
roadsign
Member



Joined: 2005/5/2
Posts: 3777


 Re: to Spitfire

Quote:
Give me grace God, to believe....and to lose my life for the sake of the gospel.



Spitfire, Good to see you back. You have a lot to offer - a genuine passion for God and keen "antenae". May God grant you your heart's desire! And may you be dressed in his beauty!


Diane


_________________
Diane

 2008/5/24 11:39Profile
Compton
Member



Joined: 2005/2/24
Posts: 2732


 Re:

Spitifre,

I agree with Diane. It is so good to hear from you.

Sister, the irony you melancholic prophets sometimes fail to see in your frustration with the tenor of this forum...you are the tenor of this forum. Who here is not tempted to think the Church is failing our expectations?

Your pain is real. I wouldn't ever ask you to put it away or pretend it isn't there. Don't drink the kool-aid of nice unreality that is choking the evangelical church. Yet at the same time, don't believe your pain is yours alone to bear. Every sincere Christian is hurting over the fracturing of the church, and the vanity of pride and worldliness in her. Some hurt privately, some publicly...but we can't assume others are false just because they aren't talking about it. There are days when everyone seems out of their minds to me. And other days when I suspect it is me that is insane. What to do with each other then?

You are right to mistrust agendas that compete with the glory of God. Even Godly true hearted Christians are but desperate emotional creatures. For this reason I believe the only trust-worthy prophecy is spirit-filled expository preaching.

Something is amiss when a forum of fervent Christians each feels as if the others are false or worldly. I have contemplated this paradox, and though I cannot say I understand it, have arrived at this one certain conclusion dear sister:

If we continue to subordinate scripture in preference for our 'unique, special, hidden,' relationships with God, we are going to keep being disappointed with other Christians, and feel more and more liberty to denounce and hurt one another. The rule of our faith isn't our prophetic passions but the Word of God. If we can agree on that, then we have a uniform basis to discuss how to cope with the darkness we find ourselves in, and the fear and isolation we admittedly feel sometimes.

If we think that only we prophetic people 'get it', then we have abandoned our rule of faith and we are already adrift, just waiting for the winds to blow us off course. Prophetic people need to humble themselves, (can you say that to a prophet?) and remember there are many good bible-believing Christians in this country who simply work their jobs and provide for their families. They are also saddened, even horrified at times over what they see, and often condemn themselves for their inability to affect meaningful change. Yet amazingly, God honors their quiet lives according to the scriptural conformity that is there; providing for their family as a small church is a more fundamental ministry then prophesying to the entire Church. We cannot do the greater if we neglect the lesser. This is the bible.

I want revival sincerely. Yet my wife needs me to be steady, not explosive...to be a light and not a supernova. I canot respond simply to the passions of the prophets who want me to behave a certain way, which can easily become yet another of those agendas you resent. I can, however, learn as a disciple of Christ, respond as a man with character by pursuing scriptural conformity.

Oh sister, that I could shake off this heavy clay vessel I am trapped in and rise up to be with Jesus! We cannot yet though. What then? Despise one another...become a mystic or a loner? We will still be living in our clay, and hating ourselves all the more for it. I know all too well this is a very real emotional temptation for every prophetically minded person. When I can almost see the New City in my fervent imagination, I confess that in my carnality I see glorious buildings more then I see a holy people. In fact, there are no people...only shiny structures. This is a strange idolatry! How clean I could keep the stalls if only I could keep the donkeys out of them! Yet, without these jack-asses there will be no point in having the farm. And without one another, there will be no city of God, for that city is not made of bricks but of saints.

That I can't chase after the spiritual reality I feel I am missing has honestly frustrated me. Yet, I can see that by learning to do the basic responsibilities, that my character and my heart are in God's care. I see other families, even other Christians, rise and fall under the passions of the moment, but he who builds his house on the Rock will learn how to trust that rock and not in their own zeal, or the zeal of others.

What I am saying dear sister is...I hope you don't go away disappointed in me. Believe it or not, I desire to be a true Christian too.

MC



_________________
Mike Compton

 2008/5/24 12:42Profile
PaulWest
Member



Joined: 2006/6/28
Posts: 3405
Dallas, Texas

 Re:

Quote:
When I can almost see the New City in my fervent imagination, I confess that in my carnality I see glorious buildings more then I see a holy people. In fact, there are no people...only shiny structures. This is a strange idolatry! How clean I could keep the stalls if only I could keep the donkeys out of them! Yet, without these jack-asses there will be no point in having the farm. And without one another, there will be no city of God, for that city is not made of bricks but of saints.



Dear brother, this is simply tremendous. To me, it shows a deeper understanding, a separation from that which is of man and that which is of the Spirit. In truth I can say hte most profound and mature Christians I know are the most reserved, the most quiet and peaceable and unassuming men you can meet. It's almost deceptive if you still have the tendency to judge the authenticity of zeal and maturity in God by the outward; conversely, the most immature I have seen are often the brethren sporting their perturbances on the outside, the constant beratings of the church, the insatiable mission to separate themselves from what they perceive as "the whore", the inciteful, unctionless street preaching, the unauthorized and unsanctioned penning of articles that claim to speak from the heart of God, etc.

Well, I believe the answer to all this is to simply sink like Jonah and give up on trying to improve oneself, the church, and other brethren. To just let go and lose oneself and let God show us how contemptible, helpless, base and swerving we are. A man busy beholding his own grotesqueness in a mirror has no time at all to behold the ugliness of others, and as we look to the redemptive beauty of Jesus we will scarcely have any hope in the confused redemption of our own anger and criticism poised at the church.


_________________
Paul Frederick West

 2008/5/24 13:20Profile
crsschk
Member



Joined: 2003/6/11
Posts: 9192
Santa Clara, CA

 Re: I Walked The Plank!

My ...

Just when it is thought all is lost ... That is a bit of hyperbole but this is so precisely what has been on my heart lately to see it come out like this here ... I am now reticent to go ahead with a lengthy post that might have some of the same things so much better expressed here. Saints, this is tremendous, all of you.

Quote:
I haven't posted or been on this site in a long time because I've been offended with the tenor of what I find here, in the same way I've been deeply grieved for what I see everywhere coming out of so-called Christians.



I certainly understand this sister and might I add my own admonishen that what we need is more of this, not less. In other words we are in need of you and others of like spirit despite the things that are often found here. MC is dead on and I concur wholeheartedly with his assessment.

I too have been maybe not as offended but more just grieved by this tenor and found it interesting that I used this very same word there ... It is the classic 'what's back of it' expression of Tozer, this seemingly elusive quality of spirit that is often called "of criticism" but contains far much more than that. There is much to be critical about but maybe it is more a cynicism that portrays contention over concern, revenge over reconciliation. Quite a bit more and guess I will have to post it after all it seems very much similar to all this.

[i]"this guy is the real deal!"[/i]


Dear God, if we are not that, if we are not ascribing to that and pinning and panting after that ... then we have nothing left but pretense. God forbid!

But far too often I do feel that I am anything but that. Too many failures and too many regrets. It is paradoxical that there is yet no giving up on it ... There is no mistake that we are in a war, not of this earth as we know but there are times when the weariness of the battle ...

Dear sister. Thank you. I would love to hear anything else that might have come from meeting of this elder gentleman.


_________________
Mike Balog

 2008/5/24 14:18Profile
Spitfire
Member



Joined: 2004/8/3
Posts: 633


 Re:

Quote:
What I am saying dear sister is...I hope you don't go away disappointed in me. Believe it or not, I desire to be a true Christian too.



Mr. Compton, I love you. You do not disappoint me. I totally know that you are a sincere brother. You made me laugh out loud. Thanks. I needed that.

Mikey B, I love you, too.

Miss Diane, I love you, too.

I wish I could just hug you all and cry, instead I'll clean the tears off my keyboard and just whisper a prayer for you. God bless. Dian

 2008/5/24 15:40Profile
mamaluk
Member



Joined: 2006/6/12
Posts: 524


 Re: I Walked The Plank!

Quote:
God, I want to walk the plank. I want to plunge into the depths of You. I want the seaweed to wrap around my head and choke everything out of me that is not of you. I want your water to fill my lungs and I want to pass into unconsciousness of myself. I want to be swallowed up by you. I want you to spit me out onto the shore of your will for me



Same sentiment here, Dian, it's good to be reading your posts again. I suppose as time gets nearer to the end, the groaning intensifies..

Quote:
The rule of our faith isn't our prophetic passions [b]but the Word of God[/b]

... and remember there are many good bible-believing Christians in this country who simply work their jobs and provide for their families. They are also saddened, even horrified at times over what they see, and often condemn themselves for their inability to affect meaningful change. Yet amazingly, God honors their quiet lives according to the scriptural conformity that is there; providing for their family as a small church is a more fundamental ministry then prophesying to the entire Church. We cannot do the greater if we neglect the lesser. This is the [b]bible[/b].

That I can't chase after the spiritual reality I feel I am missing has honestly frustrated me. Yet, I can see that by learning to do the basic responsibilities, that my character and my heart are in God's care. I see other families, even other Christians,



Dear brother MC, a thousand amen to these words !!!!But you [i]are[/i] living the spiritual reality. There is no greater "ministry", in my little mind, than to be a Godly parent..day by day by day by day, the mundane, the "not-so-rewarding moments"..In all seriousness, if all Christian parents in this world will take upon their duties faithfully by the Word..one can only imagine?

Quote:
I believe the answer to all this is to simply sink like Jonah and give up on trying to improve oneself, the church, and other brethren. To just let go and lose oneself and let God show us how contemptible, helpless, base and swerving we are. [b]A man busy beholding his own grotesqueness in a mirror has no time at all to behold the ugliness of others[/b], and as we look to the redemptive beauty of Jesus we will scarcely have any hope in the confused redemption of our own anger and criticism poised at the church



I think it is very important to carry this attitude in our walk, perhaps, to make sure that we stop being that "so-called" Christian ourselves, simply stated "humility".

Quote:
"this guy is the real deal!"



ah,this "real"-ness, can all too be deceiving as well

May God continue to mold and shape each of us..to His glory, how ever long it takes, how ever much pain it costs...and may He (please Lord) enable us to love one another with much patience and forbearance.

Linn, you are missed as well!

In Christ,
Margaret

 2008/5/24 15:41Profile









 Re:

Quote:
A man busy beholding his own grotesqueness in a mirror has no time at all to behold the ugliness of others, and as we look to the redemptive beauty of Jesus we will scarcely have any hope in the confused redemption of our own anger and criticism poised at the church.



Glad to see you back sister! :-)

 2008/5/24 15:52





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