In my very early walk with Christ, I too was given authority over my peers,,,kind of more absolute than perhaps you could know,,as we lived together in a communal situation.[all young men.] Well , it didn't take long to figure out that I was a jerk, and under qualified, to say the least. I approached the job kind of like you would do when charging in battle; I of course was the great leader, and I had all the right stuff, and it was my way, or the highway..
I was a miserable failure. I had no life, or anointing, or understanding, nor did I have the patience and love to Shepherd myself, much less others. I meant well, but it was just a position I wanted, just as you asked your Pastor to do this job.
My first counsel is to [b]Not[/b] point the finger at others. Categorically, Do not do it, repent and ask forgiveness for the accusation that you have committed. Draw a circle around yourself, step inside, and present yourself before the Lord, with no guile or bitterness toward anyone.
Repent for your "fishing trip", when negative things came up from the children of the leaders, and you received this gossip from those you were supposed to minister to. Your best counsel to them would have been for them to honor their mother and father, not to accentuate their perceived failures, and it seems this was done to justify yourself, and to diminish them for their lack of support of you. This was none of your business anyway, and it was given to you from the confidence of a parent /child relationship, that as a believer, and older brother, you are responsible to nourish, not belittle.
I admonish you to humble yourself, and go to this Pastor, and tell him you are thankful for allowing you to minister, and thank him for his trust in you. Point out to him that it was you, not him, who failed, as you are not yet ready to shepherd. Tell him that you almost fell into bitterness, and that you say that your sorry for disappearing. Thank him, and explain that you fit better into this other church, and leave with a blessing, not a broken relationship.
He will understand. I am very happy that you want to serve the body. It is important to walk in the integrity of your heart. We are all growing, me, you , and your Pastor. Have mercy on other's failures. You will find that in doing so, yours will not be so glaring.
Hope for your walk and ministry,,,,Tom.
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