May GOD richly bless you, Evan, during this Christmas/Hannukah season and into the New Year and beyond. Thank you for honestly sharing your heartfelt concerns. I think we should be encouraged...in the midst of all the turmoil in the world (as well as in the over organized institution we call 'church'), what is sure is that the Scriptures are being fulfilled right before our eyes.
In the true church that Jesus and the apostles spoke and wrote of, there has been and will always be harmony and unity! The Spirit of Truth who teaches us all things, guides us, comforts us, and graces us with power to be kept in the way of truth, is also the one who protects us from the error so prevalent in 'manstream Christianity'.
The crucial error we have made in the West is: we have not been taught to really look to Jesus alone, as well as how to trust in and obey HIM!
We are trusting in so many unfruitful things, may God have mercy on us in our blind state!
Theology, church history, apologetics, etc. are fine...but...these along with even necessary disciplines as: prayer, bible study, fasting, witnessing, praise & worship and fellowship, etc. are just a means to an end. Ultimately our only purpose for being is that we would all be transformed until we are conformed unto the image of Christ, thus bringing glory to the Father.
"We forget often that it is he who has made us, and not we ourselves. Our lives our not our own, we are bought with a price!"
We now have a 'mixed multitude'of wheat and tares, sheep and goats, lost and saved, attending churches and all claiming and verbally professing to be 'christian'. GOD is quickly bringing our current systems to a fiery end, so that he may permanently establish HIS kingdom. My prayer is that all who are willing come to the knowledge of the truth before... the night comes, when no man can work.
The LORD bless you and keep you,
Harold Dixon, Jr.