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Joined: 2006/1/6
Posts: 31
Albuquerque, New Mexico

 I am a hypocrite

awakened to life in the name of God in Jesus Christ over three years ago, I believe I am, unfortunately, not a Christian. I intellectually assent to all the orthodox beliefs of Christ, I read my Bible, pray daily, have great knowledge of the great men and women of church history, and have made confession after confession of sin in the past, but my heart still holds to sin, still loves it; feels almost no Godly remorse for the sinful things I do. Pride, lustful pornography, doubt, anger, selfishness dominate my life, so much so that some days i show little to no regard for the Christ who died that I might do them no more.
Many times have i prayed that God might break me to see the seriousness of my sin, but nothing has yet happened, what is it that I am not doing, or what is it that God is withholding?
Brothers and Sisters (if i can even call you that - as i am one christ would turn away on the last day)please, please pray that God would lead me to true repentance, that I would give up my fickle ways and go all out for Him. Pray for me, Ben Ordaz, that this fear and sloth would give way to zeal for God!

Ben Ordaz

 2007/12/23 13:47Profile

Joined: 2002/12/11
Posts: 37587
"Pilgrim and Sojourner." - 1 Peter 2:11

 Re: I am a hypocrite


I must confess to you that I have had to repent of some things in the recent days, the true saint of God will never feel comfortable in sin no matter how little it is. I encourage you not to be overwhelmed with grief and sorrow for repentance that is worldly brings "death". Let these things "drive" you to Christ more that you may be found in Him.

I noticed you read this finney article:

[b]True and False Repentance[/b]

Allow God to work "true" repentance in you brother for only He can. He is faithful. May God purge all hypocrisy and wantonness of his saints in these last days. Oh God begin with me and do a "full" work.

SI Moderator - Greg Gordon

 2007/12/23 13:54Profile

Joined: 2007/12/21
Posts: 83

 Re: I am a hypocrite


I would offer to console you. We American believers have this feeling that it is necessary to prove to a brother his Christianity. I only can say that I read of the Spirit's work in your heart as I read of the Apostle's in Romans chapter 7: "O, wretched man that I am, who shall save me from this body of death?" Not that Paul does not say that he was a wretch, but that he is.

We all have sin remaining in our lives, it is the battle that we all have been called to wage. John Owen put it succinctly, "Always be killing sin, or it will be killing you."

Remember, brother, God grants repentance. This in and of itself shows me that you are in the body. But only God can judge that. I am praying that you continue to "fight the good fight."



 2007/12/23 14:05Profile

 Re: I am a hypocrite

I read my Bible, pray daily, have great knowledge of the great men and women of church history, and have made confession after confession of sin in the past, but my heart still holds to sin, still loves it; feels almost no Godly remorse for the sinful things I do. Pride, lustful pornography, doubt, anger, selfishness dominate my life, so much so that some days i show little to no regard for the Christ who died that I might do them no more.

Actually, you'd be surprised how many people are in the same situation that your in, pride keeps them from admitting to that. I don't see you as a hypocrite. Hypocrites don't confess what you've confessed, Nay, they conseal it.

I do know that we have been anointed, but we don't know for what purpose that we have been apprehended.

We are like David in the wilderness with just a few band of men of like faith, misfits, in debt and on the run.

When we read the Psalms we see ourselves just like David, running from our adversaries because we haven't really learned how to stand and to take a stand. There are moments however that we do have some victory, just like David did when he took Ziklag.

In the Psalms David says that his sin was ever before him, and he's is crying out to God to search his heart and to renew a right Spirit within him. He longs like all of us do that we hide that word in our hearts that we might not sin against Him.

It's very important that we realize early in our Christian walk, is that our sin is never too big that He can't handle. And that we continually give our sins over to Him daily. I think we get in our minds that God is weary in our sinning, and that He is tired of hearing the same things over and over again, especially over the same sin. But God is longsuffering towards us not willing that any of should perish but that all come to the knowledge of the truth.

Now if we haven't come to the knowledge of the truth, how can He stop being longsuffering? He takes pity in our ignorance, and when we call out to Him in our ignorance and we cry for wisdom, knowledge and understanding, is He going to give us a stone? Absolutely not! He's more merciful than any Father that is on the Earth, He will give what we desire of Him at the moment when it's needed.

I am no different than you Brother. I KNOW it's difficult not to look at our circumstances and thereby judge ourselves as if to say that God has made a mistake in choosing us or that He has invested in the wrong vessel, because this vessel only knows how to sin. But Christ is our sin bearer and He has certainly taken away the sin of the world, our ignorance of that truth keeps us from seeing our true identity in Christ Jesus.

John 9:41 Jesus said unto them, If ye were blind, ye should have no sin: but now ye say, We see; therefore your sin remaineth.

I know this has deep truths, but I do want to share with you that the more I don't see, the more He makes me to see. Do you ever find that when your at your weakest or you've fallen into some awful sin and you get up and repent and WHAM the LORD hits you with truth. And your sitting there saying to the LORD. "Why are you telling me this, I don't deserve this truth, give it to someone who is worthy, I am not worthy. I just sinned against you and not fit". I don't understand His ways. But I can assure you that regardless of your state, your more of a believer than most of those that think that they can see.

 2007/12/23 14:28

 Re: I am a hypocrite

Here is a hymn by Charles Wesley which gives hope to us all.

First I want to say something about the last line 'I shall sin no more!' because it would be all (too) easy to distrust it, as if those who lay hold on it are now laying hold of the doctrine of sinless perfection. (It is difficult to know what to do with this charge, but in this context I believe it is a red herring and should be treated as such.) So, I want to give it (the last line), a context. Bear in mind I could have left this verse out, but I have sung it many time and truly, it does the soul [i][b]good[/i][/b] to hope and lay hold on faith in this way.

I'm not learned. (Most of you know that.) But it has dawned on me that the Old Covenant had a set of laws which were keepable, right down to the very last sacrifice, every single part of a person's life was covered - including the thoughts and omissions. The same is true under the New Covenant, if we are willing to walk in the light and fellowship with one another, where the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from all sin: 1 John 1:7.

What I mean here is, that those who have prayed in this thread have certain specific sins in mind. These are definable as sin according to scriptural definition. The whole time we are in Christ, His perfection is our perfection. His righteousness is our righteousness. This is the righteousness which exceeds the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees (of whom Jesus had so many things to say). They [i]needed[/i] those sacrifices. He didn't. But.... we [i][b]need[/i][/b] the eternal sacrifice of the Lamb to keep us spiritually clean as we give ourselves to walking in the Spirit. This is a completely different kind of cleanness.

Also, as we look at the Lord, we find ourselves convicted over and over of shortcomings we had never seen before. If these had been more important to God, He would have made an issue of them with us sooner. Now, He doesn't expect us to go down under a torrent of condemnation at His latest revelations: He (simply) wants us to start walking in the light of the new understanding - which should mean we will take steps to change. This process is commonly called sanctification, but in the language of 2 Cor 3, it is better called 'glorification' (according to some authorities, who see 'sanctification' as a definition of [i]separation for holy use[/i] - that once and for setting of oneself aside unto God).

The Bible in Basic English puts it this way:

17 Now the Lord is the Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there the heart is free.
18 But we all, with unveiled face giving back as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as from the Lord who is the Spirit.

Therefore, take the offensive to strangle sin to death, and be persuaded of the necessity of its absolute demise. I was most encouraged to find the verses in Psalm 18 (37 - 42) in which God shows Himself on our side, while we beat our enemies utterly to dust. Amen. We must intend - unapologetically - that they never rise again. It's not even comfortable to think like this in these days of compromise; but understand that Jesus Christ did not compromise with our enemy, death. He overcame, and He [u]gives[/u] us the victory if we can turn towards Him long enough to receive it.

Sorry. I've said more than I planned. I'm also sorry I don't have the tune 'Jeshurun' to post with the words. It is not available online, yet.

None is like Jeshurun’s God
So great, so strong, so high.
Lo! He spreads His wings abroad,
He rides upon the sky!
Israel is His first-born son;
God, the Almighty God is thine;
See Him to thy help come down,
The excellence divine.

Thee the great Jehovah deigns
To succour and defend;
Thee the eternal God sustains,
Thy Maker and thy Friend.
Israel, what hast thou to dread?
Safe from all impending harms,
Round thee and beneath are spread
The everlasting arms.

God is thine; disdain to fear
The enemy within:
God shall in thy flesh appear
And make an end of sin;
God the man of sin shall slay,
Fill thee with triumphant joy;
God shall thrust him out, and say,
“Destroy them all, destroy!”

All the struggle then is o’er
And wars and fightings cease,
Israel then shall sin no more,
But dwell in perfect peace;
All his enemies are gone;
Sin shall have in him no part;
Israel now shall dwell alone
With Jesus in his heart.

In a land of corn and wine
His lot shall be below;
Comforts there and blessings join
And milk and honey flow;
Jacob’s well is in his soul;
Gracious dew his heavens distil,
Fill his soul, already full,
And shall forever fill.

Blest, O Israel, art thou!
What people is like thee?
Saved from sin, by Jesus, now
Thou art, and still shalt be;
Jesus is thy seven-fold shield,
Jesus is thy flaming sword;
Earth and hell and sin shall yield
To God’s almighty Word.

God's almighty Word shall stand
Thine enemies shall fall
Fade away at His command
And sink and perish all.
Liars shall they all be found -
All who cried 'It cannot be
Sin should ever quit its ground
And have no place in me!'

Christ shall make thee free indeed
When He appears within;
Thou on self and pride shalt tread,
On all the strength of sin:
Thou shalt more than conquer it,
Thou shalt see it all depart,
See it dead beneath thy feet,
No longer in they heart.

God, the graceious God and true
Hath spoke the faithful word:
He the mighty work shall do;
Our trust is in the Lord:
He the mountain shall remove,
He the sinner shall restore,
He shall perfect me in love
And I shall sin no more.

a name by which God calls His people Israel four times in the OT (Deuteronomy 32:15; 33:5,26; Isaiah 44:2). Based on how the LXX renders the Hebrew word, it seems to be term of endearment or 'pet name.'

 2007/12/23 15:06

Joined: 2005/11/26
Posts: 496

 Re: I am a hypocrite

Thankyou Dante for your honesty. I will be praying for you.

Please brothers and sisters don't tell him where you think he's at,you do not know him. Dante has shared some deep things, let it remain deep. To say that many christians are going through this is putting lightness into what needs to be deepened. Just because many christians you know go thru this does not make it normal and right. It is not biblical.

Davyman, yes christians do sin, but what you did not make clear and biblical is that christians do not PRACTICE sin. There is a difference. Paul says in galatians that those who PRACTICE sin will not enter the kingdom. Rom 7 is not a stuggling defeated christian. A christian is not sold under sin. To say that that is a christians does not line up with the rest of the bible. Where is the hope than if christians live in defeat and struggle. Christ gave us the victory. That was Paul's preconversion when He was under the law, sold under sin, but if we cannot agree with that then let us go on to Rom 8 and it will be clear.

Dante look to Jesus. Continue to let Him plow your heart. Seek Him and believe that when you draw near to Him He will draw near to you. That is His promise. Meditate on His word, on His promises. Whatever the Holy Spirit shows you that you must confess, confess it, admit to that sin and remember when we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us. Whatever the Spirit tells you the things you need to get rid of, do it quickly or else you will give the devil an open door to lure you back. Remember to look to the Son and HE WILL lead you to Victory. That is His promise. Faith comes by hearing the word, so soak yourself in His word and He wil grant you the faith to believe as you draw near to Him.

I've been there, Dante. The Lord has convicted me of being a hypocrite too. At first it didn't hurt, but I pressed on to know Him and He lead me to seeing who I was really like, a pharisee who was clean on the outside, but inside was wickedness! The Lord gave me such a deep revelation of this that it brought fear to my soul and I did not confer immediately with flesh knowing that many christians will tell me that its normal and I'm being too hard on myself. Instead, I ran to the Lord and sought only Him knowing He is the only one who can save me. I truly gave my heart to Him and let Him deal with it, though it did not feel good at the time, but be patient and let God's work in you and and as we are patient under His loving rod WE WILL yield the peacable fruit of righteosness (Heb. 12:7-11). Look to Jesus and He will set you free. That is His promise. He gave His life to us in order that we may have life and be free from sin.

praying for you, Lisa


 2007/12/23 16:59Profile

Joined: 2003/10/30
Posts: 1554

 Re: I am a hypocrite

Dear Dante, thank you for your honest heart. Look unto Jesus, that's all you need for now and for ever. As I was reading your post, I was reminded of one sermon that I want to recommend it to you:

[b]He is able (1 of 2) - 1955[/b]

[b]He is able (2 of 2) - 1955[/b]

[b]Excerpt from the sermon:[/b]

I feel as happy as a man tonight that has found the secret of life and he could go to every dead person and grant them life. I feel happy as a man who has found somehow the mystery of solving the curse that enslaves millions of people diseased in hospitals tonight. People in whom the lamp of reason is flickering because they are mentally imbalanced. I feel as though I have that answer in my hand. And I won't feel more happy tonight to go and emancipate every sin shacked body than I am tonight to preach to limited audience like this, and say to you irrespective of your need tonight that I don't care a stamp of the things about your malady. [b]For the malady doesn't matter, it's the remedy that matters.[/b] And however cursed and crooked and deformed and twisted your life may be, if you're in bondage to secret sin, the Word says here in it's wonderful emancipation that [b][u]He[/u][/b]!

not a system of religion,

not a series of pilgrimages,

not by genuflecting to the altar,

not by turning to the east to say your prayers,

not by making the sign of the cross,

not by the resolution of your will,

not by something which is hereditary, or something imagined hallowed,

but free grace abounds tonight whereby He is able to save you to the uttermost on one condition, and that condition is that you come to God [b][u]by Him[/u][/b].


Lisa (myfirstlove), I thank God always for your heart, when I see you posting. Don't get weary sister standing for truth in Christ Jesus.

 2007/12/23 17:38Profile


Greetings Dante,

First of all I would say to you that the advice in myfirstlove's post is very good and worth reading through again. Heed that advice.

I'll just add a scripture that is relevant:

"Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled." (Matthew 5:6)

Jesus' promise is that we will be filled if we hunger and thirst after righteousness. Many people would like to eat and drink anyway even though they're not that hungry but they will not go to great lengths to get food. However, those who are starving will seek food until they get it- they will persistent and will not be not be turned away for anything! Come to Jesus for righteousness as though your life depends on it (as it seems you realize). Let nothing distract you from seeking Jesus with all your heart and you WILL certainly find him. Righteousness comes by promise- I'm praying for you too.

 2007/12/23 17:44

Joined: 2007/12/21
Posts: 83



myfirstLove wrote:

Davyman, yes christians do sin, but what you did not make clear and biblical is that christians do not PRACTICE sin. There is a difference. Paul says in galatians that those who PRACTICE sin will not enter the kingdom. Rom 7 is not a stuggling defeated christian. A christian is not sold under sin. To say that that is a christians does not line up with the rest of the bible. Where is the hope than if christians live in defeat and struggle. Christ gave us the victory. That was Paul's preconversion when He was under the law, sold under sin, but if we cannot agree with that then let us go on to Rom 8 and it will be clear.

Paul wrote: Ταλαίπωρος ἐγὼ ἄνθρωπος in Romans 7:24. He is quite emphatic using "ego" to emphasize that this is his current state. It may well be translated "One of affliction I, I am that man." He never lost sight of the fact that he was a hell-deserving sinner; the "chief" of sinners. We all have besetting sins. We all struggle, more or less at times, with sin.

If I could encourage our dear brother by saying there is no need to be concerned, I would be wrong. I cannot offer anymore than to say that I struggle with this "body of death" as well. But thanks be to God, through our Lord Jesus Christ!

I have heard the argument in the past that Paul was speaking of his pre-conversion self, but his use of the present tense convinces me that he was aware of his sinful flesh after the point of conversion. Cf. Philippians 3:12 (literal translation): "Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus."

I am glad that Paul admits that he is not perfect, that, in his Christian walk, he still battled sin. I'm glad our Bible doesn't present the apostles as holy men in the mythological sense. They have their foibles even after the Holy Spirit is indwelling them. The point for us is that we can walk in humility and gratitude that our sins are covered by the precious blood of Christ. We can claim that promise when we do sin (everyday).

I am a hell-deserving sinner. I battle pride and greed and lust everyday. I would much rather watch "The Office" than open the Word of God. I would rather cheer on the Vikings than go out in the snow to witness. "But God displays His love toward [me] in this, while [I was] yet a sinner, Christ died for [me]."



 2007/12/23 19:31Profile

Joined: 2006/1/19
Posts: 1406

 Re: I am a hypocrite


I wish not to overwhelm you with more reading, but I believe this will help you in your struggle. Pray and believe the Lord through the Holy Spirit to quicken this to your heart.
Our prayers are with you.

Looking to Jesus

If we are to run with patience the race that is set before us, we must always keep looking to Jesus (Hebrews 12:1-3). One of the simplest and yet one of the mightiest secrets of abiding joy and victory is to never lose sight of Jesus.

1. First of all, we must keep looking at Jesus as the ground of our acceptance before God. Over and over again, Satan will make an attempt to discourage us by bringing up our sins and failures and thus try to convince us that we are not children of God, or not saved. If he succeeds in getting us to keep looking at and brooding sins, he will soon get us discouraged, and discouragement means failure. But if we will keep looking at what God looks at, the death of Jesus Christ in our place that completely atones for every sin that we ever committed, we will never be discouraged because of the greatest of our sins. We shall see that while our sins are great, very great, indeed they have all been atoned for. Every time Satan brings up one of our sins, we shall see that Jesus Christ has redeemed us from its curse by being made a curse in our place (Galatians 3:13). We shall see that while in ourselves we are full of unrighteousness, nevertheless in Christ we are made the righteousness of God, because Christ was made to be sin in our place (2 Corinthians 5:21). We will see that every sin that Satan taunts us about has been borne and settled forever (1 Peter 2:24; Isaiah 53:6). We shall always be able to sing,

Jesus paid my debt,
All the debt I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.

If you are this moment troubled about any sin that you have ever committed, either in the past or in the present, just look at Jesus on the cross; believe what God tells you about Him, that this sin which troubles you was laid upon Him (Isaiah 53:6). Thank God that the sin is all settled, be full of gratitude to Jesus, who bore it in your place, and worry about it no more. It is an act of base ingratitude to God to brood over sins that He in His infinite love has canceled. Keep looking at Christ on the cross and walk always in the sunlight of God's favor. This favor of God has been purchased for you at great cost. Gratitude demands that you should always believe in it and walk in the light of it.

2. In the second place, we must keep looking at Jesus as our risen Savior, who has all power in heaven and on earth and is able to keep us every day and every hour. Are you tempted to do some wrong at this moment? If you are, remember that Jesus rose from the dead, remember that at this moment He is living at the right hand of God in the glory; remember that He has all power in heaven and on earth, and that, therefore, He can give you victory right now. Believe what God tells you in His Word, that Jesus has power to save you this moment "completely" (Hebrews 7:25). Believe that He has power to give you victory over that sin that now besets you. Ask Him to give you victory; expect Him to do it. In this way, by looking unto the risen Christ for victory, you may have victory over sin every day, every hour, every moment. "Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead" (2 Timothy 2:8).

God has called every one of us to a victorious life, and the secret of this victorious life is always looking to the risen Christ for victory. Through looking to Christ crucified we obtain pardon and enjoy peace. Through looking to the risen Christ we obtain present victory over the power of sin. If you have lost sight of the risen Christ and have yielded to temptation, confess your sin and know that it is forgiven because God says so (1 John 1:9), and look to Jesus, the risen One, again to give you victory now, and keep looking to Him.

3. In the third place, we must keep looking to Jesus as the One whom we should follow in our daily conduct. Our Lord Jesus says to us, His disciples today, as He said to His early disciples, "Follow me." The whole secret of true Christian conduct can be summed up in these two words "Follow me." "Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did" (1 John 2:6). One of the commonest causes of failure in Christian life is found in the attempt to follow some good man whom we greatly admire. No man and no woman, no matter how good, can be safely followed. If we follow any man or woman, we are bound to go astray. There has been but one absolutely perfect Man on this earth--the Man Christ Jesus. If we try to follow any other man we are surer to imitate his faults than his excellencies. Look to Jesus and Jesus only as your Guide.

If at any time you are in any perplexity as to what to do, simply ask the question, What would Jesus do? Ask God by His Holy Spirit to show you what Jesus would do. Study your Bible to find out what Jesus did do, and follow Him. Even though no one else seems to be following Jesus, be sure that you follow Him. Do not spend your time or thought in criticizing others because they do not follow Jesus. See that you follow Him yourself. When you are wasting your time criticizing others for not following Jesus, Jesus is always saying to you, "What is that to you? You must follow me" (John 21:22). The question for you is not what following Jesus may involve for other people. The question is, What does following Jesus mean for you?

This is the really simple life, the life of simply following Jesus. Many perplexing questions will come to you, but the most perplexing question will soon become as clear as day if you determine with all your heart to follow Jesus in everything. Satan will always be ready to whisper to you, "Such and such a good man does it," but all you need to do is to answer, "It matters not to me what this or that man may do or not do. The only question to me is, What would Jesus do?" There is wonderful freedom in this life of simply following Jesus. This path is straight and plain. But the path of him who tries to shape his conduct by observing the conduct of others is full of twists and turns and pitfalls. Keep looking at Jesus. Follow on trustingly where He leads. This is the path of the righteous, shining ever brighter till the full light of day (Proverbs 4:18). He is the Light of the world; anyone who follows Him shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life all along the way (John 8:12).
R. A. Torrey

 2007/12/23 19:44Profile

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