What Have I Done?
I think I see a lost spirit launched upon the sea
of eternity. I hear it say, "What have I done?"
It is plunged in flaming waves, and cries,
"What have I done?"
It sees before it a long eternity; but it asks the question again,
"What have I done?"
The dread answer comes- you have earned all this for yourself.
You knew your duty, but you did it not;
You were warned, but you despised the warning.
Ah! hear the doleful soliloquy of such a spirit--
The last great day is come;
the flaming throne is set,
and the great book is opened.
I hear the leaves as with terrible rustle they are turned over.
I see men motioned to the right or to the left,
according to the result of that great book.
And what have I done?
I know that to me sin will be destruction,
for I have never sought a Savior.
What is that?
The Judge has fixed his eye on me.
Now, it is turned on me!
Will he say, "Depart you cursed," unto me?
Oh! let me be crushed forever, rather than bear that sight.
There is no noise, but the finger is lifted, and I am dragged
out of the crowd, and singly I stand before the Judge.
He turns to my page, and before he reads it,
my heart quakes within me.
"Be it so," says he, "it has never been blotted with my blood.
You despised my calls; you laughed at my people; you would
have none of my mercy; you said that you would take the wages
of unrighteousness. You shall have them- the wages of sin is
Ah! me, and is he about to say, "Depart, you cursed?"
Yes, with a voice louder than a thousand thunders, he says,
"Depart, you cursed, into everlasting fire,
prepared for the devil and his angels."
Ah! it is all true now.
I laughed at the minister, because he preached about hell;
and here am I in hell, myself!
Ah! I used to wonder why he wanted to frighten us so.
Ah! I would to God he had frightened me more,
if he might but have frightened me out of this place.
But now, here am I lost, and there is no escape.
I am in darkness so dark,
there is not a ray of light can ever reach me.
I am locked up so closely, that not one of the bolts
and bars can ever be removed.
I am damned forever!
Ah! that is a dreary soliloquy.
I cannot tell it to you.
From Spurgeon's sermon, "What have I done?"