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 I need grace to surrender

My question has to do with my will. My choosing and with the struggle within me between the old man and the new man. I find within me a deep desire for God but also a strong desire for ways that I know are not of God. Say, lust or gluttony. I think the question simply is, how do I choose something that I don’t want? Or, that I don’t want enough? Or, how do I choose to surrender to God when I am fighting tooth and nail not to? And, I am afraid to as well. The question is this, how do I choose something that I don’t want or that I don’t want enough?

I came to a realization years ago that I was not obeying God and only agreeing with Him when it was convenient for me. How do I find the desire or the strength or the will power to choose to obey God? And how do I find the whatever to want to do something that I don’t really want to do? I see that I don’t really want to give in to God, to obey Him always, or even once sometimes. To give up my own ways even though I know that that will separate me from God. What I know and what I act on are two different things.

I try to obey, I try to hold the self down, I try to hold the envy down, hold the bitterness down, hold the lust down. But, it will not stay down. Why? Because it is my self that is doing the holding and this self has no intention of holding those things down. My self is determined just to do as much as gives a kind of holy impression to me but, as long as it continues to be free, it will only do so much.

What would you say to someone who just is not finding it in them to obey God?

 2007/11/1 6:12
hmmhmm
Member



Joined: 2006/1/31
Posts: 4994
Sweden

 Re: I need grace to surrender

[url=http://www.worldinvisible.com/library/murray/absolutesurrender/contents.htm]Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray[/url]


_________________
CHRISTIAN

 2007/11/1 6:21Profile
death2self
Member



Joined: 2006/9/28
Posts: 192
Washington DC area

 Re:

I'm a very similar position and would encourage you to read "Rees Howell: Intercessor." I'll be praying and will post more as the Lord leads. The pertinent chapter I believe is Chapter 3.

The only way out is to die out and that crucifixion of the flesh is utterly painful. It's been painful to me and I've been resistant as well.

Blessings to you, Jesus will bring you through. Feel free to drop me a PM and we can talk off-line if you would like.


_________________
Ed Pugh

 2007/11/1 16:16Profile
roaringlamb
Member



Joined: 2003/6/11
Posts: 1519
Santa Cruz California

 Re: I need grace to surrender

Quote:
What would you say to someone who just is not finding it in them to obey God?



Look outside of yourself to the One who perfectly obeyed in your behalf. If you continue to look within, you will only see filth, but cast your eyes upon the One who alone is all beautiful.

Trust that the faith you have received to believe in Christ has justified you before God, and that He will work in you to will and do His good pleasure, and though this is a lifelong process, the inner man is being renewed, and His blood avails before the throne of God where no man could ever go.

After all of this, love will be the motivator, and hope in such grace that could love even the most unlovable, thus even in the darkest of moments, there will always be the trust in Him and His work for you.


_________________
patrick heaviside

 2007/11/1 17:47Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 Re: I need grace to surrender

freecd,

Quote:
What would you say to someone who just is not finding it in them to obey God?



My reply to your question would be to unburden yourself to God. Just tell Him what you told us here, be serious about it and presevere. It may take a while...it may seem as though God wants to test you to be sure you really want what you are saying you do, and how serious are you? It may not be that God needs to know this - because he already does - but you need to come to the absolute end of yourself, realize how helpless you are before God can do the work in you you know that needs to be done.

Simple, but hard, but very possible. Been there, done that. And you do not need to read a ton of books hoping to find that magic formula because there is none...been there, done that, too. Know what my problem was? Evil imagination.

Have you ever read "Pilgrims Progress, No. 2"? Your problem reminds me of Mercy who was left outside the Wicket Gate. She sure thought she was not going to get to enter. Christiana and her children had entered but for some reason she was left behind. She was so distraught and fearful she couldn't get in, so she took her stick and she beat that door real hard with all her might. When they heard it inside they were so delighted to hear that determination they opened the door for her...reminds me of us mortals in our quest for victory.

Blessings,
ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2007/11/1 19:08Profile









 Re: I need grace to surrender

Hi brother Steve,

Quote:
The question is this, how do I choose something that I don’t want or that I don’t want enough?

Here is a well-worn prayer for you to make you own.

[i]Lord, please make me willing to be willing to .... (do your will, not mine).[/i]


Quote:
How do I find the desire or the strength or the will power to choose to obey God?

I believe 'will power' is what we use to bring our bodies' actions in line with a previously conceived choice, regardless of how we feel about that choice at the time we have to act it out in real life - when the choice itself is not up for grabs (anymore).

If you have not [i]decided[/i] to go God's way, then this will keep cropping up until you do decide. After that, it's a matter of obedience or repentance unto obedience.

I do believe Ron Bailey's explanation, quoted in my signature here, is essential to be received, as unless we see that sin has a life of its own, which must be executed in our individual experiences - by plunging into His death with Him, as He did on the day He died - how can we expect to get rest from it? This is the single most essential baptism a Christian must have.

Quote:
To give up my own ways even though I know that that will separate me from God.

Rather than thinking of it as giving up your ways, maybe you could think of it as taking up God's ways. This is what it means to 'put on' the new man.... the Romans used to 'sink into' their robes. This is the same picture.

Quote:
What I know and what I act on are two different things.

Well praise the Lord that when Paul was writing Rom 7, he knew he was about to write Rom 8. Amen and halleluah!

Quote:
I try to obey,

Do you mean by 'I try'... that you try not to sin? If so, this is why it's never going to work... because we all need to give up our own efforts, and abandon our lives to Christ, receiving His effort (in the first instance), as a gift to us.

Once we have received His death, living in His life is possible. But receiving His death [u]does mean[/u] giving up [i]trying[/i] to do things our way or in our own strength.


I believe all of us have these battles and all of them are hard won. Eventually, the thought of another battle looks like a waste of time, and one rejects it as a no-win option for 'the old man'.


A friend of mine has a book by a Christian comedienne, over which one chapter had the caption 'I was willing to compromise, but God wanted everything all His own way!'

It's no shame to capitulate to the living God. You are in the safest possible hands when you do, and His grace is (more than) sufficient for the task, and for giving any faith you lack.

God bless you and give you both rest and peace in Himself at this time.

 2007/11/1 23:32









 Re: I need grace to surrender

.
When I backslid several years ago, I picked up a VERY bad habit of cursing. I could run a sailor out of a bar and laugh about it. Then it got to where I loved coming up with new ways to say certain words, I didn't say GD but the other major ones. Alot of it was getting to be unconcious too but I didn't mind!

My point is this... about six months ago, I finally come clean with the Lord and apoke my heart to him on the subject... that I loved it, that I knew it was a bad witness if anyone heard me, I tried to explain to him that I didn't get a good belly laugh about many things but that my flesh just found enjoyment with that and finally that well, it's hard to overcome something you enjoyment out of and love. I told him that I was sorry but I really didn't think I could let it go yet.

Well lo and behold about two months ago I noticed that I wasn't cussing NEAR as much. A MIRACLE of Miracles!!!

I quit "trying" to obey and be Josephine Christian and admitted to him that I could not help myself and that I was way weaker than I thought I was. He was there and helped me in my weakness.

I do not know if you can apply this to your situation but I believe that Lord let me find a key... that in our weakness' we are made strong.

God bless you,

 2007/11/2 6:02









 Re:

Quote:

roaringlamb wrote:
Quote:
What would you say to someone who just is not finding it in them to obey God?



Look outside of yourself to the One who perfectly obeyed in your behalf. If you continue to look within, you will only see filth, but cast your eyes upon the One who alone is all beautiful.

Trust that the faith you have received to believe in Christ has justified you before God, and that He will work in you to will and do His good pleasure, and though this is a lifelong process, the inner man is being renewed, and His blood avails before the throne of God where no man could ever go.

After all of this, love will be the motivator, and hope in such grace that could love even the most unlovable, thus even in the darkest of moments, there will always be the trust in Him and His work for you.

AMEN, Bro. Lamb!

Jesus said, "[i]Father, [b]not my will[/b] but thine[/i]

He overcame on Calvary, but He also overcame at Gethsemane, and from the moment of His birth.

However, Gethsemane shows most clearly how Jesus conquered the human will, by, AS A MAN, laying down His will before He laid down His life.

Therefore we can receive His power through His life within us, to say also, "Not my will but thine".

I can't lay down my own will, but HE CAN! And HE lives in me!!!

Take hold of His power and defy your own stubborn will.

It works! It may take a while - with particular issues especially - but it works.

See your own will as something that He has already conquered. Not by destroying your will or breaking your spirit, but by willing submission to the Father. Co-operate with Him in applying His victory to the issue, and you will see what He will do!


HALLELUJAH!!!!


Blessings


Jeannette

 2007/11/2 15:35
roaringlamb
Member



Joined: 2003/6/11
Posts: 1519
Santa Cruz California

 Re:

Sometimes I think we forget that crucifixion is a slow and painful death, and also that we cannot crucify ourselves.

God has not asked us to commit suicide, but rather to let Him crucify us by His Spirit changing us, and conforming us into the image of His Son.


_________________
patrick heaviside

 2007/11/2 15:58Profile









 Re:

Quote:

Intens4Him wrote:
.
When I backslid several years ago, I picked up a VERY bad habit of cursing. I could run a sailor out of a bar and laugh about it. Then it got to where I loved coming up with new ways to say certain words, I didn't say GD but the other major ones. Alot of it was getting to be unconcious too but I didn't mind!

My point is this... about six months ago, I finally come clean with the Lord and apoke my heart to him on the subject... that I loved it, that I knew it was a bad witness if anyone heard me, I tried to explain to him that I didn't get a good belly laugh about many things but that my flesh just found enjoyment with that and finally that well, it's hard to overcome something you enjoyment out of and love. I told him that I was sorry but I really didn't think I could let it go yet.

Well lo and behold about two months ago I noticed that I wasn't cussing NEAR as much. A MIRACLE of Miracles!!!

I quit "trying" to obey and be Josephine Christian and admitted to him that I could not help myself and that I was way weaker than I thought I was. He was there and helped me in my weakness.

I do not know if you can apply this to your situation but I believe that Lord let me find a key... that in our weakness' we are made strong.

God bless you,

HI Sister Lisa

AMEN! I wrote my last post before seeing this.

In the mouth of two witnesses...


Jeannette

 2007/11/2 17:21





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