Thank you all so much :).
Hi. IlyaI like to read along as I listen to the Bible being read by someone who can pronounce the names and words better than me and it has helped me pronounce them better. Audio Bible is a great web site and I feel sure you will enjoy it for years.http://www.audio-bible.com/bible/bible.htmlEddie
hi ilya,i'd like to reiterate what some others have said.Read John slowly and in much prayer. Prayer is bigger than anything. Jesus noted that the Pharisees "You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me". (John 5). A knowledge of the word alone won't bring a closer walk with Him, but abeing in the word and praying to be changed to be more like Him. The searching with all our hearts is , I believe in prayer. Now of course the word is also extremely important. In particular the gospel, as the Colossians were commended for their faith, hope and love for others which came through hearing the Word. Its about balance in those two things: prayer and the word. E M Bounds has said that if there is not fervency in your prayer, then that should be the first thing prayed for and stay in prayer until its received. I know, in honesty, that in my life i've sinned and not immediately repented, but in those times i've prayed for God to give me a repented heart. ask God to give you a heart that is on fire for Him!
Ilya,Welcome to SI! You will learn a lot here, it is a wonderful place.....Now about your relationship with God: it is so very good you are free to share your problem...would it help you to know that it is common? That most growing Christians will find themselves at that point somewhere in their walk with the LORD? But what can we do about it? Tell God what you told us here! Then when you go study the WORD ask the LORD to speak to you through His word, recognizing his word is written for YOU and if you listen in your spirit you can know and experience that. Simple? Yes, but it is true. I have learned that when I have a problem, I must tell the LORD all about it, just like I would to a trusted friend. The bottom line is He knows all about it anyway so do you not think He could give the best advice about it? "Casting all your care upon him for he careth for you" (I Peter 5:7) applies to you, to all of us. Awesome, is it not?Blessings,ginnyrose