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intrcssr83
Member



Joined: 2005/10/28
Posts: 246
Logan City, Queensland, Australia

 Re:

Surprised no one has mentioned Joshua Harris yet :-P. Here are some of his audio sermons:
[url=http://www.covlife.org/sermons/dl_dialog.php?filename=../audio/2005_11_27.mp3]Courtship is a Community Project[/url]

[url=http://www.covlife.org/sermons/dl_dialog.php?filename=../audio/2005_11_20.mp3]Courtship, Shmourtship: What really matters in relationships[/url]


_________________
Benjamin Valentine

 2007/8/24 0:05Profile
Peacecraft
Member



Joined: 2006/12/8
Posts: 93
USA

 Re:

Wow, you guys posted some great stuff. The bride for Isaac story was wonderful! A great explanation for biblical courtship! :) Paul Washer's sermons on them are great... Bill Gothard has some good things to say on it too! All very encouraging! :)


_________________
Laura

 2007/8/24 1:13Profile
theopenlife
Member



Joined: 2007/1/30
Posts: 926


 Re:

The Gothard link was a blessing. Yeah, the Paul Washer ones were pretty intense for me... I was thinking, what if her dad is an unbeliever? And Paul doesn't support men EVER being alone with a woman. A bit drastic, to me, but foolproof!

 2007/8/24 1:20Profile
Peacecraft
Member



Joined: 2006/12/8
Posts: 93
USA

 Re:

Lol, there is a part where Paul Washer says (to the young men about being alone with girls) don't even be alone with your cousin, unless she is really ugly! Lol, that was just too funny :)

And if the father is an unbeliever... Gothard gives a good explanation for that situation, and how even unsaved parents are still in a place of authority over us, and God can use them to direct us... even if they aren't saved. I've had to learn this myself because my father isn't a believer... and it's really a matter of humility to obey one's parents (as long as it doesn't go against scripture) when the flesh wants to rebel and say, "What do you know? You aren't even a Christian!" God has used my father in a lot of ways, and I trust that God has placed me under my father's authority for a purpose and I just gotta trust that God knows EXACTLY what He is doing!!! :)

Laura


_________________
Laura

 2007/8/24 1:49Profile
awakenwithin
Member



Joined: 2007/1/31
Posts: 985
AZ

 Re:


I think on the most part just a few months ago I would of agreed that paul was a little drastic.

I wasn't brought up in a Christian home. I lived in the world until I was 20. But I didn't understand womanhood or manhood at all. Before I was saved I went after guys, and guys came after me where no rules. I dated for fun, not for marriage.
When I was saved, although I was dead to my old self my pattern was still somewhat the same in many things.
So I started dating a guy. God had freed , even although God had freed me from my pas or us freeing me, I had a desire to be Pure now that I knew Christ.. I had said I wouldn't kiss unless we were to be married. But we did so many other things wrong, like hanging out alone, not having family part of it.. We based on what we felt. it wasn’t biblical it was base on emotions not on Gods will. We have to be careful our hearts can fool us. I was sending all my time with him alone. No one said it was wrong. I couldn't see things clearly because my emotions were keeping me to see. I learned a lot about right and wrong ways of relationship, from it. and how unwise we can be. We are alone with another. We think we are strong. But all I was doing was seeing so close I could get before sinning. Very unwise. Who knows what others thought, I sure when it was meant to be good, look bad.
But being alone with guys never really hit as you need to be ver carful, but there was were sometime it was just fine. until I came to Tucson, my whole world has been turned upside down. And I listen to Paul washer sermon dating..YUmm.. I was praying alone with guys, I was on a prayer team.. I couldn't help I said one else came? and driving in the car alone with brothers. It was safe and fine, just a ride. After they were just brothers. I posted on SI about being alone in the car with a guy, from what people said I took it to heart and started praying about it. What is good in your eyes God? ANd why? Should I never be alone with a guy? and why? I remember paul west posting about never be alone with a guy or guy with a women unless family. Why such rules? Now when I was at the prayer tent I have a guy walk me to me car, and saw nothing wrong with that, it was only when he tried to stay and talk with me for a while.. Of course I think life things come and there can never a firm line, but there can be many other lines drawn to help..

I think there more to be pure, when we hang out alone, it seem evil..
But at least from what I have learned is it the best safe guard for my heart and emotions. I think that we can still be friends and talk with our brothers. and pray and such.
But John Piper talks about true womanhood and manhood.
My father is not living anymore, so who would a guy go to? If he is to go the father? Should a guy go to the father first, before trying to talk with a lady? and why?
I have seen this to be true, How sweet and wonderful it is when it happens. Both of my friends husband did this. I think it bring safety to the women.

I wrote this just a few months ago..after talking with a friend on SI

After I went AL I had some crazy things in the way I see things and God said you need to set rules.. Lady my dear sisters, there many guys out there that don't how to respect young lady with purity please keep your self safe to. as for you guys I know some you this doesn’t apply and I thank you for being a good role model for me. I thank you all. may God grow us to be more pure.

It is my desire to keep my heart and emotions pure.
"Save yourself emotionally for your husband, for your wife. I believe that God’s best, God’s perfect will, God’s sweetest order, as much as possible is that you be a virgin physically, and emotionally when you enter into this matter of marriage."

"Why? I’m saving them for the most precious woman/man in my life. I don’t know who she is yet, but I’m saving them for her. Sorry all of you other young ladies/ guys, this is a prized possession, and I’m saving these emotion for the precious young lady of my life’s partner."

I desire to not allow my feeling to overflow for no one but the man I will someday marry.

"My heart is overflowing with love for you and I want you to know that it’s never overflowed before. I’ve been tempted for it to overflow but I’ve stopped it. By the grace of God, I didn’t allow it to stay". That’s a beautiful way to start, and that’s the right place to end."
No defrauding "stir up desires, that they cannot lawfully fulfill"
Not being a flirt. Not playing with love
taking your responsibilities- Please lead when needed
Never going to be alone with a guy, in a car or in home
Never going to pray alone, maybe at Church with others around
Never talking on the phone, with personal matters
Only hanging in groups
Please don't ask my number for personal reasons
Please open doors, pull out chair
See me as your little sister
Act like a brother acting towards me in purity
Time spent, in groups
Not dating, only that leads to marriage.


I know I far understanding is all I am asking God to keep growing me to be a women of purity.


_________________
charlene

 2007/8/24 2:24Profile
awakenwithin
Member



Joined: 2007/1/31
Posts: 985
AZ

 Re:

I am very thankful for everyones post.. It has been very helpful...

IN CHrist, we can do all things
Charlene


_________________
charlene

 2007/8/24 2:31Profile
awakenwithin
Member



Joined: 2007/1/31
Posts: 985
AZ

 Re:

"One of the valuable rewards of courtship is the protection of emotions that are stirred up by physical and emotional interaction, until the time when it is clearly God’s will to proceed into marriage.

If, during the time of courtship, one party realizes that this is not God’s will and ends the relationship, it can still be regarded as a successful courtship, because God directed and the individuals were not damaged."


_________________
charlene

 2007/8/24 2:39Profile









 Re:

Quote:

Peacecraft wrote:
And if the father is an unbeliever... Gothard gives a good explanation for that situation, and how even unsaved parents are still in a place of authority over us, and God can use them to direct us... even if they aren't saved. I've had to learn this myself because my father isn't a believer... and it's really a matter of humility to obey one's parents (as long as it doesn't go against scripture) when the flesh wants to rebel and say, "What do you know? You aren't even a Christian!" God has used my father in a lot of ways, and I trust that God has placed me under my father's authority for a purpose and I just gotta trust that God knows EXACTLY what He is doing!!! :)

Laura



Thank you for sharing this, Laura, this is a wonderful testimony! It brought joy to my heart. :)

There are indeed circumstances where some girls' fathers just don't protect them or want to play this important role in their lives. In such cases it would be good for the girl to have her pastor or another godly couple stand in the gap for her and help protect and counsel her through this stage of life. Of course, I strongly echo Laura's words on the importance of honoring and obeying the authorities placed over us...even if they are ungodly. And if your unsaved parents totally resist you getting married to someone, oh, be very, very careful in proceeding forward...it would be better to go to prayer and ask God to change their hearts that you might have their blessing.

That's just a thought...or two :-)

I'll tell you what, I'm just being so blessed and encouraged by ya'll in your desire to seek God in this matter. From someone who's been committed to this since she was thirteen...it's pretty neat to see God laying this on your hearts also.

God is good. Alleluia!

 2007/8/24 23:52
awakenwithin
Member



Joined: 2007/1/31
Posts: 985
AZ

 Re:

now that my father is dead. My step father feels that he in the place of my father. In the same as Lauras father, he dosn't know the Lord. But I would want his blessing and would want to repect him.
in his love
charlene


_________________
charlene

 2007/8/25 1:59Profile
awakenwithin
Member



Joined: 2007/1/31
Posts: 985
AZ

 Re:

"“It is not good for the man to be alone”. It’d like us to recognize that God is the one who recognized it, it was God who noticed that, it was God who looked at his creation, it was God who looked down the road, [and] it was God in His infinite wisdom who looked at the man and said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a help meet for him”. "

"I’m going to make him a helper that is meet to him, that is suitable to him, that is adopted to him, that is compatible to him, that is compared to him, that is a companion to him”. That’s what God was saying. He wasn’t saying, “I’m going to make him a woman so Adam has somebody to help him"

"And verse 22, “And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man made He a woman and brought her unto the man”. Can you just imagine with me a little bit, that meeting? Ponder "


" Can you imagine what that meeting must have been like? She was perfect. She was absolutely perfect, and he was perfect, and he was everything that God wanted him to be, and she was everything that God wanted her to be. Ca you imagine what that meeting must have been like? Bless the Lord."

", “this is now bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man"

"What kind of a relationship do you think they had with a meeting like this? How do you think he felt about her? Do you think he said, “Thank you Lord. Come on, Eve, there’s a lot of work to do in the garden. Let’s go!”. Do you think He looked at her that way? And I know we chuckle about that, but let’s get some depth out of it, too. He didn’t look at her that way. My, he looked at her; “My treasure! My wife! My queen! A gift from God! This gift that God game me! A woman! A wife!”. What kind of relationship do you think they had? "

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh”. "
"And man fell, and all of that beautiful order that God had set into motion has been muddled up. It’s been confused. It’s been hated by sin. It’s been infested by a lower nature, and that’s why we’re going to have the rest of this session today, and tomorrow and on Friday, because there is a Genesis Chapter 3.

God wants to restore this beautiful, meaningful part of His order and His kingdom. That is God’s heart."
"

pursue marriage?
Ho do I know when it is time to pursue this awesome relationship called marriage? I believe they’re very wise when the start asking those kind of questions to their fathers, and their mothers and their spiritual leaders"

"First of all, God will help you to know. He’s very concerned about it, He’d very concerned that it’d be right, He’s very concerned that it come forth by the beauty in which we just looked at it, here. I assure you that God will help you to know when it’s time for you to pursue this relationship of marriage"

would that be mne and women eyes on Christ, seeking after him..? Seeking his will.. Much prayer?

"Number two, your parents will be able to discern this. They know you. They know you like nobody else knows you except God. They know you, they know where you’re at, they know the level of your maturity, they know your strengths, they know your weaknesses, they know your walk with God, they know you. Let your parents help you to discern when it’s time for you to pursue this relationship called marriage.

dad's are ver important!!! and mom's

And thirdly, godly leaders will be able to give you some insights concerning this subject. If you have godly leaders in your life (some of you I know you don’t, but some of you do) don’t just pass them by. They can also help you in this area. They also know you. They watch for your soul. They’ve been watching over you. In some situations, they’ve watched you grow up; they’ve known you for five years; they’ve known you for ten years. Let them help you to discern when it’s time for you to enter into this "
That would pastor?
or older men?

blessing
charlene


_________________
charlene

 2007/8/26 0:13Profile





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