| Humbly Request Prayer|
I usually don't do this, but I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I am requesting from the body of christ prayer that I'd be consistant in prayer. I have allowed so many thing to creep into my life that I have neglected the very thing that I have always enjoyed doing. I have been away from the intercession part of prayer, the intimate part of prayer that I am having a very hard time getting back into it. Can anyone share a similiar story, I need encouragement. I feel like I've been rejected.
Thank you Saints :cry:
| 2007/6/2 20:47|
| Re: Humbly Request Prayer|
Can anyone share a similiar story, I need encouragement. I feel like I've been rejected.
What you've shared is basically the on-going story of my life. A season of heated prayer and Bible study...then a cool down. Another season of consistent prayer and scripture devotion...and another cool down. Don't beat yourself up, and don't let the impulses of rejection swamp your mind. I'll be honest with you: when we allow ourselves to be swayed from the times of fervent devotion and intimacy with God, it's as if we fight an uphill battle to get back to where we were. The hardest thing is picking up where we left off, because our inadequacies and failures are all too near and vibrant and pulsating. We try to pray and suddenly our heads are assulted with disjointed thoughts and vivid memories of recent defeats.
The key I've found is to always, no matter what is happening, look to Jesus. See, you can always look to Jesus and just be silent and know He is God. You don't have to utter a single word or brood over an open Bible. Sometimes you just can't pray, just can't read, just can't do anything but throw up your hands in surrender. Take comfort knowing that He knows the secrets of your heart, the true desires and pain from the drifting, all the defeats you lament over. Take comfort in that He knit you together in the womb of your mother and he knows you better than you know yourself. He called you out of the world; He knows how to keep you. Look to Jesus, trust Jesus. Wait on Jesus. You can [i]always[/i] look to Jesus and lay the burden upon Him and surrender, surrender, surrender. His yoke is easy, the burden light.
Actual resolve (that is, manifestly having the freedom to pray as before) may not come right away, but you just keep looking. God sometimes hides His face for a season, and if He is hiding His face from you, it is a good sign. These are times of growth and testing and maturity. Be still, be silent and know he is God. Times of refreshing will come soon, and you'll find yourself restored and closer to Him than you were before the fall.
Brother Paul :cry: -> :-)
Paul Frederick West
| 2007/6/2 21:14||Profile|
You don't have to utter a single word or brood over an open Bible. Sometimes you just can't pray, just can't read, just can't do anything but throw up your hands in surrender. Take comfort knowing that He knows the secrets of your heart, the true desires and pain from the drifting, all the defeats you lament over. Take comfort in that He knit you together in the womb of your mother and he knows you better than you know yourself. Look to Jesus, trust Jesus. Wait on Jesus. You can always look to Jesus and lay the burden upon Him and surrender, surrender, surrender. His yoke is easy, the burden light.
Thank you for posting this...I soooo needed it.
Praise be to God!
| 2007/6/2 21:27||Profile|
Brother, I can't tell you the times I've been so weak and confused and saturated with failure that all I could do is hang my head in shame and whisper, "O Lord, thou knowest."
Sometimes that is all we can do...and all that is needed.
Paul Frederick West
| 2007/6/2 21:42||Profile|
Santa Clara, CA
| Re: Humbly Request Prayer|
Thank you brother Paul!
Compliments, know from recent days and the other post that we are both in slightly crossing paths here ... What I mean is I may have only preceded you by a matter of days in a 'return' to that which I knew and even desired yet ... kept going to distraction, even [i]good[/i] distraction, the scriptures, books, here ... before just laying myself out in prayer.
Brother you will get back to it and I will pray that you do, but you must also pray for me as well, deal? ;-)
Something I picked up a long time ago reading about A.W. Tozer was his penchant for laying on the floor while he prayed. It is somewhat ironic that my wife, long before we were married got a hold of this 'kneeler' that is kept here in the room, the 'office' if you will. I have folded up the rug my mother made for me a couple of years ago and there is where I sprawl out and pray. But what I really wanted to mention was that Tozer also used to just lay still and not utter anything, even in his thought's I am supposing from the accounts, just to worship in silence, to be still ... maybe it is to truly allow the groanings to be uttered without any cognizance that the Holy Spirit is doing just this through us.
Of course I would add that I find it remarkably impossible to do this .... most of the time. But here is why generally speaking. You have probably heard of the 'pressing through' or however it is couched, it is alluding me at the moment, what seems to happens is to quit to soon. What I have found often, even recently, is once I get done preaching in my head, or getting all the 'noise' to calm down ... "Are you finished?" this intimation from the Lord that I am finally ready to 'hear' whatever it is the Lord might be saying. A certain ... calming down can come in. Have likewise found the drift even as these things, whatever they may be are dwelt on and then carried further into extrapolations, other thoughts and scriptures coming to mind, it can be very good and also very much leading off track so there is a catching if you will when this begins to happen, a drawing back to silence the mind and ask the Lord where or what, if there is more or ... Am halting and jumping in and out here as there is so much that comes to mind from praying. There are times when I will bound from the floor to the scriptures and back again. Times where I will just sit and read chapters and sections and stop and pray for understanding even while there is an undergirding spirit of prayer in general while reading. Short things. Sometimes what is 'heard' is, let me try that again, most times what I hear by way of intimation is usually very short, a sentence, something foreign to what I may be thinking at all ... those are precious things when you recognize they are from the Lord, worthy of a lot of concentration. Ah brother .. it varies! That is the beauty of prayer. All I know is this. There is [i]no waste[/i] no matter what, if we can just lay out or kneel or what have you and not say a word, think a single thought (Good luck!) and just be there in His presence with the purpose of doing so ... The best way I can put it is to not do it is ruin and failure and I think you already recognize this in the sense I could only hope to convey it, not in absolutes or disaster ... there is still all kinds of praying going on underneath out in life in general. Brother I am striving to get this out so bear with me, it very much off the cuff.
On the one hand there is the discipline aspect, that 'taking our thoughts by the scruff of the neck' that I mentioned elsewhere and [i]making[/i] ourselves do that which we don't feel like doing, you alluded to a bit here;
the very thing that I have always enjoyed doing.
Brother, I hear you but I also realize that there is something in us that shrinks from pain as well. And prayer, intercession is often painful, deeply painful. We are opening ourselves up to the gaze of All of the universe for one and the pain of suffering of others, vicariously certainly but times where it defies explanation ... a quote for you;
[i]All vital praying makes a drain on a man's vitality. True intercession is a sacrifice, a bleeding sacrifice.[/i]
~ J.H. Jowett
I recognize that you are not saying everything by way of enjoyment as well. There can be a sense of ... acknowledgment? if that is the word I want even from these deeply difficult times of prayer. It carries over though, into the life of the day.
Remember! Another great encouragement, to just recall ... to go back to first days of conversion, I know some have never let go of these and have stayed stagnant but the opposite extreme is to put them away forever, such rubbish! In my case I often have gone back to marvel at the ways and the leadings ... no preacher, no specific 'witness', no Church, no nothing just a steady increase of pressure that had [i]the Hound of Heaven[/i] on my heels, in my circumstances, as if the whole world had been tilted off it's axis just to dislodge the one stubborn pebble from it's last crevice it was holding on to and that fool was me. It's incredible and I am stunned and amazed even still to just think on it ... every time. What in the world do You want to have to do with me? Such peculiar love ...
In no way have you been rejected, it is equal parts discipline and fight and that paradox of 'giving up', crying Uncle. Fight through it until you can give up, maybe that's it!
There is so much to pray for brother and much joy in doing so. The sins of the flesh and all that we must deal with, the casting off to tomorrow for todays troubles, anxiety, fears even of the wrong sort ... Encouragement ... another help when I have fallen back into this trap, this funk is to go back and read some of the great prayers of old. Bounds naturaly, but Fenelon, Pason, Nash ... The Psalms!
I will be praying brother and praying that you will come back here with all the new insights that have been shown you so you can in turn encourage and edify us all.
| 2007/6/2 23:37||Profile|
this is my battle to.
God called me to pray, and since I have been here
in tuscon I have let, good godly things take the place of prayer. I seen in the last week. oh It a fight, I must be willing to fight. To Say no this time is the Lords, and I am sorry you can't have it. Fight, Fight we must fight to pray. It is so hard. It takes everything I got some days.
Emeny dosen;t want us to pray. But we must. I am where you are in alot of ways, I enjoy praying, really it my heart beat, and yet I let the world take it place.
Father I pray for my brother, please we come before you and ask dear Jesus, the name that is above all other name, that is full power and grace. Jesus we pray that you would help our brother trun and keep truning from any sin that is keeping from praying as you have called. Thank you father, for loveing and making him, for seting a path before Him. Jesus we ask you take his heart to night and lift it look, to trust and look to you. restore what has been taken, renew his prayer time. Make his heart pure, and holy before. Thank you for the work you are doing, please keep working tearing away, himslef, so you may come alive in him. Jesus please give him the power to pray. Jesus I pray for the liitle yet big things in life that take our your time with away. Thank for our brothers honest heart, Please speak to him tonight,
Father please let word be living and active in His heart, again we thank you for what you are going to do. amen
Please be uplifted up, even when walk away as I have been doing, he is still there, helping , me back
I thank God for opening my eyes, when I am walking my iwn ways, But I am sure it need to be a daily thing
Thank you so much for sharing it a blessing to my heart
in his love
| 2007/6/2 23:58||Profile|
I was just reading and I came to this verses
Jesus, Founder and Perfecter of Our Faith
Hebrews 12: 1-6
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. 4In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
"My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives."
Wow it is such good verses
In his love
| 2007/6/3 0:48||Profile|
Brother, I hear you but I also realize that there is something in us that shrinks from pain as well. And prayer, intercession is often painful, deeply painful. We are opening ourselves up to the gaze of All of the universe for one and the pain of suffering of others
How true this is for me, brother! It convicts me because I see how I have been shortening prayer for this very reason in the past few days, wanting the 'breaking', yet with the least possible effort and pain on my part. Even to the point that today I gave up on myself and slept and slept--something which I hadn't done for months, out of despair and frustration with my lack of zeal.
When you talked about the rug, I had an awesome time with the Lord a few nights ago. I like to "pray without ceasing" and talk to the Lord often through the day, often focusing on Him when I sit, or lie, or walk, letting Him speak to me in the stillness. Yet often there also is the anxiety and discomfort of just me and Him, of being alone before Him, speechless and without a clue. And then I either press on or give up, usually the former... Recently, however, I've felt the extreme shallowness of my prayers, prayed out of duty more than out of a genuine desire to bow before the Lord in surrender and full dependence on Him. So that night as I was lying on a couch in the basement of the house where I am staying, the Lord urged me to kneel down on the floor... I knew I could still pray lying on the couch, but something was missing. And see, I rarely kneel before Him unless I've really messed up and am so broken and full of shame that I cannot imagine sitting or standing before God.
My thoughts were all over the place, especially my prayer list, which I hadn't gone over with a pure heart for a long time; all the promises I'd made to pray for people and the recognition that I'd never done it with real dedication, that I'd never sweated and bled over somebody or something. I knew I had prayed but that somehow I feigned it or managed to do it with the least expense of energy and time... and such conviction came upon me that I prayed and cried, brothers and sisters, like never before down on that carpet. The Lord somehow showed me how desperate I was and I prayed prayers for people that I'd never cared for and I knew it wasn't my love, my zeal, my passion. Because only minutes earlier I had been as cold as a rock.
There was something that happened in the kneeling--not of me kneeling as a trick of some sort, but of the Lord literally bringing me on my knees. I tried it again last night and it was so hard; it was impossible for me to be as broken before the Lord as before. This leads me to believe that He prepares and enables us for service like intercessory prayer. We can always do it in our own strength, with some success, but it will always miss the point, which is surrender--full surrender--before the throne of God.
Please pray for me also, brothers, as I will lift you up also, that the Lord may give me not only the will, but also enable me to fulfill it. For I have been so appalled recently by my laxity and the lack of constant urgency of my walk with Christ, almost that I questioned whether I am walking with Him at all, if I allowed periods of giving myself over to distractions and idols to eclipse my love for God.
| 2007/6/3 1:53|
this also convicts me. as you were speaking praying over a list of people. I have Lord has call me to pray for and I haven't pray for with a broken heart. I have had times when I pray were my heart is so broken, and other time where is cold.
kneeling- there is something by how we pray.
"This leads me to believe that He prepares and enables us for service like intercessory prayer."
I agree with this 100%, when God wants me to pray, he ables me to do it. Even when I am sick. I think God allowed me to have some my most powerful and heart felt prayers when I was sick,
to show its not about how I feel, but God who moved in my heart
I so blessed by this post, thanks everyone
I may Not be a brother, But I am praying for everyone who posted. Thank you all
In His love
| 2007/6/3 2:43||Profile|
I was once told by a brother out on the streets one nite while we were witnessing that Jesus always went where He was invited. For the most part I've invited Him everywhere and everyday to go with me and dialogued with Him all day long. There are times and seasons when I withdraw from life for more intense prayer, depending on the occassion or circumstances. Like daily times of bible reading, which most have a hard time disciplining themselves to do, you just have to make up your mind and do it. The old expression is "practice makes perfect". I think the more you include Jesus in on a daily basis the better your prayer life and walk with God will become, than more intense time of focused intercession will be a natural step from this room to the next.
I would say not to be overly anxious about it and guilt ridden, but like an individual building a house that's going to take a year or so to complete, just patiently work at it, always keeping the finished product in the back of your mind. In that way you will cultivate a long range view and won't be discouraged by present failures that I'm sure the enemy of our souls constantly mocks you about with condemnation and failure and as is one of his sanre he likes to create in us a low self esteem build on the foundation of repeated failures. In that way our focus is generally on our selves more than on the present reality of Christ "with us", the Holy Spirit "in us", and the Father "for us". So today just simply invite Jesus to come along with you and watch and see what happens, as a friend who accompanies you don't forget He's there, and that will take practice. God bless Bro. Daryl
| 2007/6/3 7:49||Profile|