| Poster | Thread | vasilef
Member
Joined: 2005/12/8
Posts: 120
ROMANIA
| | Together but not Legally Married | | This is the situation:
There are two people, a man and a women with two children who are not legally married.
They had a very difficult life, the husband didn't want to work or couldn't work because he would buy alcohol and drink it. He wasn't able to keep a job.
The women come to the Lord and the brothers advised her to tell him that they should marry legally.
He didn't want to hear about this.
We have just prayed for this situation for a long time because we didn't know how to proceed.
Should we tell her to separate from him? Should we consider them as husband and wife?
It's a difficult situation. I don't see them as married and I think that they should separate but there are other brothers who consider them as married because they lived together such a long time.
I wonder if the Word of God speaks about such a situation... I wonder what is on God's heart...
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Vasile Filip
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|  2007/5/30 1:39 | Profile |
| | Re: Together but not Legally Married | | Beloved: I was going to edit this post, but I am going to leave it as is because it wouldn't make any sense in the rest of the thread by other posters. But I want to say that what you read below, I have [b]recanted[/b]. I didn't read into the post or skipped over it and didn't read that the woman is saved. Krispy has said and others to which I agree that the woman has no business marrying this man who is an unbeliever. She needs to separate from him with her children, unless of course he repents and gives his heart to the LORD.
What you read below is my original post, just disregard this information. Thank you Saints.
Quote:
Should we tell her to separate from him?
For the love of God, NO!
For the sake of the children of having a Mommy and Daddy to come home to, don't tell them that they need to separate.
Have they considered just going to the justice of the peace, say a couple of words, sign a document and their done. |
| | 2007/5/30 6:08 | | enid
Member
Joined: 2006/5/22
Posts: 2680
Nottingham, England
| | Re: Together but not Legally Married | | I believe, before we go any further in this discussion, and instead of being pragmatic and using human reasoning, that we go directly to scripture, and see what God Himself says on the matter.
Gen 2v24, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.'
Is she his wife? I'll leave you to answer that one.
1 Cor 6v16, 'Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For the two He says, shall become one flesh.'
Since they are not married, and she has supposedly come to the Lord, who does she now belong to, God, or her lover?
They are living in sin, and are condemned until the situation is resolved.
As we continue to read 1 Cor 6 it says to flee sexual immorality, and that we are bought with a price and are not our own.
How then, after coming to the Lord, has she continued to live such a life?
As for the children, what good is a father that is too drunk to give them a decent home anyhow?
And since when, do brothers and sisters opinion of seeing them as married, mean that they are married? Does God see them as married, or does it not matter what God sees?
Let us be careful of putting our opinions above the word of God.
The only reason they should be together is if they are not saved, which neither of them seem to be if they still continue in the same lifestyle as before they supposedly came to the Lord.
All I know is, God judges us, and His word is clear as to whether we will end up in hell for our sins.
And we will, if we do not genuinly repent and obey God, instead of creating our own doctrine.
Others will add to this, I've said my bit.
God bless. |
| | 2007/5/30 7:30 | Profile | vasilef
Member
Joined: 2005/12/8
Posts: 120
ROMANIA
| | Re: | | Quote:
Have they considered just going to the justice of the peace, say a couple of words, sign a document and their done.
She considered, he did not want to consider.
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Vasile Filip
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| | 2007/5/30 7:33 | Profile | vasilef
Member
Joined: 2005/12/8
Posts: 120
ROMANIA
| | Re: | | Quote:
if they still continue in the same lifestyle as before they supposedly came to the Lord.
Read carefully please, I have written that only the woman came to the Lord.
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Vasile Filip
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| | 2007/5/30 7:39 | Profile |
| | Re: | | She has no business marrying an unbeliever. If you think they are unequally yoked now, wait till they are married. They are destined for the divorce court.
She needs to leave. Period. This would be an act of obedience.
The children need to see her model obedience to God more than they need a lazy drunk as a father. If he cant hold a job and has a proven drinking problem, then the courts will not award him custody... they tend to favor the mom anyway.
The Bible says that a man who wont work to support his family is worse than a pagan.
So it would be pretty easy for her to make a clean break.
She should get into a church that will love her and support her as a single mother.
Out of this break up perhaps he could come to the Lord. You never know. But marrying him would be in direct disobedience to the Word of God, and God will not honor that. What He [b]will[/b] honor is someone making a hard decision to follow Him no matter how painful it may be.
Absolutely no way should these two get married under the current circumstances. It's unscriptural. It's disobedient.
As it is right now, living with him is disobedience to God... and marrying him as an unbeliever would only deepen her disobedience.
I've faced these situations before in our churches, and this is always my advice, and it's never been easy for the person going thru this... but God has always honored their obedience. I know of one lady who didnt heed this advice, and it only wrought more heartache and trouble on her and her children... and it ended in divorce.
Krispy |
| | 2007/5/30 8:09 | |
| | Re: | | Quote:
For the sake of the children of having a Mommy and Daddy to come home to, don't tell them that they need to separate.
Love ya, Compliments, but this is very dangerous advice. If they were married, I would tend to agree with you... but they are not. They are living in fornication. She is modeling an ungodly lifestyle to her children. Their souls are more important. In this type of environment the children will grow up to be rebellious and will have children of their own by the time they are 16.
Krispy |
| | 2007/5/30 8:16 | | running2win
Member
Joined: 2007/5/15
Posts: 231
Bowmansville Penssylvania USA
| | Re: | | Quote:
For the sake of the children of having a Mommy and Daddy to come home to, don't tell them that they need to separate.
God's grace is more than sufficient for a mother and her children when the children are without a dad because of obediance to God. God is love and mercy but He wont just wink at a sinful situation even if "the children need a mommy and a daddy to come home to!" Think of the childrens' eternal souls. Are they more likely to come to God later in life with an uncomrpomising mother or with a drunk father? That shouldn't be hard for anyone to answer that's honest with themselves and God.
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Jeff Mollman
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| | 2007/5/30 8:20 | Profile | enid
Member
Joined: 2006/5/22
Posts: 2680
Nottingham, England
| | Re: | | Vasilef,
Read carefully, was only generalising in regards to their situation or anyone else in that situation. That's all.
God bless. |
| | 2007/5/30 8:35 | Profile | vasilef
Member
Joined: 2005/12/8
Posts: 120
ROMANIA
| | Re: | | Enid, I understand now.
(for all) Why would you say that their situation is unscriptural?
Maybe it is, buy it is also unusual.
Does a piece of paper make you wife and husband?
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Vasile Filip
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| | 2007/5/30 9:24 | Profile |
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