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Discussion Forum : General Topics : What does one look for in a mentor?

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tjservant
Member



Joined: 2006/8/25
Posts: 1658
Indiana USA

 What does one look for in a mentor?

Today while in a private discussion with one of my religious studies professors I mentioned that I was hoping to find a mentor. I have recently moved to Indiana to return to school after 15 yrs. They asked me what I was looking for in a mentor. The question kind of caught me off guard, I had never really thought about it. I just thought a mentor would now what to do.

I guess I’m just looking for someone with Godly wisdom to guide me. I accepted Jesus as my Lord only 3 yrs ago, and have much to learn. It got me to thinking, and so I now ask you.

What does one look for in a mentor?

I think this is a VERY important question, and would really appreciate any and all input.

God bless

TJ


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TJ

 2007/2/2 19:25Profile
dohzman
Member



Joined: 2004/10/13
Posts: 2132


 I'll give you a story

Being a part of an organized church I've had an oppurtunity to help in/and be a part of the interviewing process for a new pastor. In one such case the applicant was very well educated and spoke with a degree of eloquence. Everyone asked that man what his vision was, what his this was and that was....you get the picture. I simply asked him what was the greatest hurt or dissapointment he has had to endure in his ministry thus far. The answer to that was very revealing.


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D.Miller

 2007/2/2 22:10Profile









 Re: What does one look for in a mentor?

First of all, our Chief Mentor is Jesus Christ, and after believing that if you haven't already received the baptism of the holy Spirit, I urge you to begin seeking to be filled.

John 16:13 Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth:

Having established that, I had a mentor who recently passed away. He was a good friend, full of wisdom and understanding.

I really wasn't looking for a mentor, I guess the LORD just put him in my path one day and the rest is history.

The thing that marks out a Mentor is that they talk alot. It doesn't matter what you have to say, it matters that you learn to listen and listen well. I sat most of my time listening to him, and the understanding that he had was absolutely amazing. Everytime I spoke, I spake like a little child trying to grasp what is being said.

We were both hermits in a matter of speaking, I was seeking the LORD and he would just admire the LORD. I saw him privately in his room one day worshipping the LORD and it looked like he was eating the WORD spiritually speaking of course, I can't explain it any other way. I wanted to be like that, so comfortable, resting in His Word. So sure that you've been adopted and have been made a Son. Not just reading it in the bible, but actually KNOWING it.

I want to add, that he never judged me. I had some besetting sins in my life at the time and he never frowned on me, never did he thrash the bible over my head, he just loved me for who I was and perhaps he prayed for me in his private time, I don't know. We ate together, whatever rooming house he lived in, I was right behind him. We walked for miles talking about the LORD, when I was heavy with grief I would complain to him and he wouldn't say anything, he would just listen, he never offered any advice unless I was looking for it.

Those were simplier times, I long to be poor again, having nothing but the longing to be like Jesus.

Seek the LORD my friend, and the LORD will lead and guide you to a mentor, but don't seek a mentor, seek Jesus only.

 2007/2/2 22:11
totallyHis
Member



Joined: 2007/1/31
Posts: 16
Southern Manitoba, Canada

 Re: What does one look for in a mentor?

tjservant, Compliments gave you excellent advice. I would like to add that a true Christian mentor will be selfless and will not desire you to look to him, and draw your attention toward him, but will ALWAYS point you to Christ. Jesus must have the preeminence.

God bless you as you seek the Lord for direction. He is faithful and He will answer your prayer.


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Stella Paterson

 2007/2/2 22:50Profile
fromtheold
Member



Joined: 2006/10/25
Posts: 161
South Africa

 Re:

The Bible :-)


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esvl

 2007/2/3 1:25Profile
tjservant
Member



Joined: 2006/8/25
Posts: 1658
Indiana USA

 Re: What does one look for in a mentor?

Just to clarify. My professor did not ask me this question in order to pick a mentor for me. I will let God lead me. It was just a question to think about.

God bless

TJ


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TJ

 2007/2/3 8:49Profile
Parautika
Member



Joined: 2005/12/27
Posts: 6
Victoria, BC

 Re: What does one look for in a mentor?

Hi TJ,

I think your professor was perhaps wise in asking you what you desired in a mentor, as determining it will most likely help you to find one who is appropriate for you. But here are some suggestions.

Asking someone to mentor you is asking for a commitment of time. If you find someone suitable, recognize the cost that they bear and be willing to make yourself available to them at times and places convenient to them.

To put yourself in a position where you are willing to mentored, requires a large degree of honesty and transparency on your part. Are you willing to do this?

Find someone who is discreet, that you may have confidence in him to know that he does not readily speak of other's affairs.

Before even asking if the person would consider it, make sure that he has a prayer relationship with the Lord. It the person does not have the Lord's ear, he should not have yours.

Find someone who you recognize has both wisdom and discernment. A mentor should have some ability to look past what you are telling him, and perhaps surprise you with answers or questions that you didn't expect.

Wisdom is with aged men,
And with length of days, understanding. (Job 12:12)

In the light of the above, sometimes an older man in the church is well suited to mentoring. If he has followed the Lord faithfully through his life, he will have learned many things. Often if he is retired, he will have the time also.

A mentor shouldn't be someone who is there to provide you with all the answers, but rather is someone who can help you learn to come to the answer yourself. As an earlier post revealed, a good mentor should always point you back to Jesus as your best source. (Although he may be adept in showing you what is short-circuiting your path to your best source) :-)

Home meetings and bible studies can sometimes be a good place to determine who might fit the bill. If someone can be seen to provide thoughtful and wise answers in these settings, and has shown an ability to speak into the lives of others there, further discourse could be made with them to find out more about them. Go for coffee with them, or visit them. If the person shows regard and care towards you in this setting, or if you open up to him about some portion of your life, and you see that he responds wisely; it may be worth pursuing asking him if he is willing to mentor you. I would suggest that you try to get together with the person at least once or twice before asking him whether he is willing. This will give you time to pray about it and him. If you are truly seeking to grow in the Lord, and are willing to be mentored, don't be surprised if the Lord has already spoken to the person about it by the time you are ready to ask him.

Mentoring is a biblical principal, Paul told Timothy, "And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also." (2 Tim. 2:2) A good mentor himself looks for those who will respond well to him, and will in turn be willing to pour out their life into the lives of others. If you are not willing to in turn give into the lives of others, you may be disqualified from being mentored by those with true wisdom. For their wisdom and discernment will give them the prudence to say no to you in favor of retaining the time to mentor someone who will respond. But if you are willing to grow in the Lord, and are willing to be obedient in reaching out to others yourself, I would suspect that the Lord will open a door for you.

I hope this helps you somewhat, and that the Lord will supply your every need.

Cliff.


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Cliff

 2007/2/4 1:36Profile









 characteristics of a mentor

Some wonderful answers already.

I might add:

Someone who doesn't spoon-feed you with his version of the answer to a problem or question (For example what you should do in such and such a situation), but encourages you to find out things for yourself and seek the Lord for His will and solution.

But also someone who is there for you (with answers if you really can't manage by yourself at that point)when you are struggling.

As well as a good talker, always willing to share his wisdom, a mentor should also be a good listener, who understands what you are really saying, and is able to read between the lines and get to the heart of any problem.

Also a true friend, who you can be yourself with - even if there happens to be a large age gap. One of my closest friends had a son who was older than me!

When I was a student there was a Godly older man living in the town who had a real heart for the students. They affectionately called him "Auntie Henry". Not because he was effeminate in any way but because he was an "agony aunt" to so many - a real "father in the Lord" - as he listened to their problems and gave wise counsel. He was the only man I had ever met who would actually weep when he talked about the Cross.

jeannette

 2007/2/4 17:46
Jimbabwean
Member



Joined: 2007/1/29
Posts: 17
USA

 Re: What does one look for in a mentor?

Quote:
What does one look for in a mentor?


Something that you see in his or her life that you want in your life. Ignore what they say, look at their lives. When their lives are convincing, then you can ask them questions about how they did it.

 2007/2/5 20:58Profile





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