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Discussion Forum : Miracles that follow the plow : Please pray for my wife...

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crsschk
Member



Joined: 2003/6/11
Posts: 9192
Santa Clara, CA

 Re:

Quote:
"10Q 4 being patient with me"



What an encouraging word brother... How much is contained in that small cloud. Rejoicing and praying yet still with you brother.

Perhaps I should take this occasion to mention my own wife, Lisa. While I believe the Lord has given me something that I am holding tight to and so much so that I feel I cannot reveal it, just a particular verse ... Still, prayers for her are coveted. She has some anxieties and,... may the Lord reveal by His Spirit just what is needed.

Thank you saints.


_________________
Mike Balog

 2006/11/11 12:36Profile
HeartSong
Member



Joined: 2006/9/13
Posts: 3179


 Re:

Brother Aaron,

For some reason I am having trouble getting past this statement that you made:

"Anyway, somehow, I've have been able to hold back my opinions, while still dishing out my love".

If we perceive that Jesus is holding back "opinions" of us while he "dishes" out His love . . . well, isn't that saying that we think there is hidden darkness in Him?

It is His pure love of us that makes Him irresistible - that gives us peace.

1 John 1:5
This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.

 2006/11/11 18:12Profile
CJaKfOrEsT
Member



Joined: 2004/3/31
Posts: 901
Melbourne, Australia

 Re:

Quote:

HeartSong wrote:
"Anyway, somehow, I've have been able to hold back my opinions, while still dishing out my love".

If we perceive that Jesus is holding back "opinions" of us while he "dishes" out His love . . . well, isn't that saying that we think there is hidden darkness in Him?



More that He hides in darkness. This is reference to my tendency toward being highly critical (I believe that I mentioned this in an earlier post). It's the old, "This is how I face the situation, and if you tried it, it might work" mentality, when God knows the heart. and what is best for the situation. Most times my well meaning advice would have the effect of burdening Rach with something else that she "isn't doing right", which is a toxic thing for a depression sufferer.

I do realise what you mean, and I agree with the sentament. Rach is being shown how I really feel, and that is deeply concerned and desiring of her to find joy, for her own sake, and the Lord's, without requiring that joy be directed at me. This was if it is, it is a gift, and not an obligation. That's what true love is all about.

Sorry I didn't make myself clearer earlier.


_________________
Aaron Ireland

 2006/11/11 18:35Profile
CJaKfOrEsT
Member



Joined: 2004/3/31
Posts: 901
Melbourne, Australia

 Re: Please pray for my wife...

Thank you for your continued prayers. Things have been progressing well, but suddenly a turn for the worse. Somehow Rach managed to get 20 of her anti-anxiety tablets into her, and she has been admitted into hospital, for observation. I have spoken to her this morning, and she is groggy and feeling a little embarrassed, afraid that people will be angry at her.

Rach is a recovering anorexic, from when she was a teenager, and has been falling into old habit patterns. I got to see her the other day, and she is almost "skin and bone", and won't believe anyone who points this out to her.

Combine the two together, and you have a particularly toxic cocktail.

Jesus' deliverance of the demon possessed boy, on the way back from the Mount of Transfiguration, comes to mind. Perhaps this is a testimony to my relative prayerlessness.

I appreciate and covet your continual prayers, they are as a "faith transfusion" for me, who is finding it more and more difficult to see God in all this. I guess this is the true point of faith, for the believer, to hold on and trust Him, in spite of every fibre of my being trying to make me believe that He has let me down.

On a side note, for those in Australia, the current issue of Madison Magazine has an article on "Recovered Memories" and Rach's history is the main feature of the story. She was interviewed quite a few months ago, but the story has only just gone to print. This may give you a little insight into her situation, as to some of the factors that led her to this point.


_________________
Aaron Ireland

 2006/11/22 18:32Profile
CJaKfOrEsT
Member



Joined: 2004/3/31
Posts: 901
Melbourne, Australia

 Re: Please pray for my wife...

Well the good news is, Rach is home:-). The bad news is, she currently weighs only 37kg and is averaging a couple of mouthfuls a day. Today I noticed that she had no visible back muscles, and all I could see was rib cage. She has told me that the reason that she left her counsellor's house is because she got sick of her "hassling" her about her weigh (have spoken to her counsellor and she had only mentioned it a few times, usually comparing her to other people that Rach would consider slim, and yet were 10 or 20kg heavier).

Rach had a history of anorexia before we met, and was suicidal back then. We have been married for nearly eight years now, and it feels like we have gone right back to the start. I am absolutely terrified, because I know that this is totally out of my hands, because I can either encourage her to eat, and have her leave, or ignore it and watch her waste away.

To add to things, Christmas will be being held at her family's this year, and I know that they'll really give her a hard time (They are the most 'gracious' people in the world, by a long shot). If there is anyone that she won't be able to hide it from, it will be them.

This is excruciating for me to watch. It is taking every bit of faith I have to not just fall in a heap. Couple that with a recent decision that we cannot stay at our church, in good conscience, and there are fears of isolation also. My prayer is (apart from the health of my wife being restored) that I can see the cross in all of this, and not just be swayed by the circumstances. Please keep us in your prayers.

Thanks in advance.:cry:


_________________
Aaron Ireland

 2006/11/27 4:19Profile
roadsign
Member



Joined: 2005/5/2
Posts: 3777


 Re: your faith is growing

Quote:
This is excruciating for me to watch. It is taking every bit of faith I have to not just fall in a heap.


... a unbearable experience of having absolutely no control. You can do nothing! And the more you or others try to "help" the worse it gets.

Anorexia is a terrible thing. I remember a psyciatrist, who specializes in anorexia, share with me his own sense of helplessness. He said, "I have a whole ward up there of anorexics whom I am in charge of, and I can't do a thing for them.

That reminds me of a book which you may appreciate at this time:

"Shattered Dreams" by Larry Crabb

He subtitles his book: "God's unexpected pathway to joy"

He writes:
"Shattered dreams are never random. They are always a piece of a larger puzzle, a chapter in a larger story. The Holy Spirit uses the pain of shattered dreams to help us discover our desire for God, to help us begin dreaming the highest dream. They are ordained opportunities for the Spirit first to awaken, then to satisfy our hightest dream."

I find Larry Crabb to be a very insightful and encouraging writer.

Aaron, May you - even today - find genuine joy in the Lord - deep inside, underneath all the pain and tears. May KNOWING him be your deepest hunger, and may he satisfy you completely. He is all you have - that you can count on.

And he has dear Rach in the palm of his hand -the best place to leave her.


_________________
Diane

 2006/11/27 7:57Profile
ccchhhrrriiisss
Member



Joined: 2003/11/23
Posts: 4779


 Re:

Hi CJaKfOrEsT...

Thank you for the continued updates. We are still praying for you and your family here in Texas (and Tennessee, Mexico, and Virginia). Be encouraged, brother. Many of us are sharing in this plight -- and we are hurting with you. The Lord is faithful.

:-)


_________________
Christopher

 2006/11/27 13:29Profile









 Re: Prayer for my wife


Dear Aaron,

You don't need to go to Rach's family's for Christmas. You don't need to let tradition crush you like a steam-roller. It is exactly the failure to break old patterns which is holding this whole situation in paralysis. Believe it or not, the last thing you need to worry about is Rach's anorexia. I understand why you feel unable to pray or don't know what to pray, but please keep YOUR focus on the Lord - on God your Father - and trust Him to bring you all through this. While you are looking at the situation, He is more powerless than when you are looking to Him. I hate to sound trite, but it's the flesh which makes us want to sort out the natural situation by natural means.

I note your allusion to the magazine article about to be published. It is absolutely NO WONDER that Rach is struggling with all her old issues right now. This is the very kind of pressure which she needs help to resist. The matter of recovered memories in itself indicates where she is on the curve of healing, and she is a long way from being ready to testify. By 'a long way', I mean years. You should be looking at a timescale of 15 - 20 (yes, years), and be not surprised at anything which throws her into disarray. Please bear with this outpouring from me. I'm on a borrowed computer and shouldn't even have written so much..... but it strikes me you are surrounded by people who have no idea what Rach needs, who can neither support her nor you adequately. Yet, there IS help and there ARE people who can give you longterm support of a much more constructive nature. Please pray on these points.

Quote:
I guess this is the true point of faith, for the believer, to hold on and trust Him, in spite of every fibre of my being trying to make me believe that He has let me down.

No way has He let you down, and He is the ONLY ONE who has all the answers and ten thousand times all the Compassion and healing which Rach needs to receive. DEFINITELY don't give up on Him. He is trying to show you His greatness. But, there are some things He doesn't do for us, the way He does them for others. It is clear to me that your situation is in this category. He wants you to bunker down with Him and see this whole saga through from start to finish. Are you willing to go with Him there?

 2006/11/27 13:30
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 Re:

Aaron,

How is your wife doing by now? I trust everything is going better....Have prayed for ya'll.

ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2006/12/5 22:48Profile
CJaKfOrEsT
Member



Joined: 2004/3/31
Posts: 901
Melbourne, Australia

 Re:

Quote:

ginnyrose wrote:
Aaron,

How is your wife doing by now? I trust everything is going better....Have prayed for ya'll.

ginnyrose



Thanks ginnyrose (and everyone else). Things have been relatively stable of late. Rach is back seeing her counsellor incidently is a huge fan of Larry Crabb. Her eating is still up and down, but she is open to considering that there is a problem, and is facing it.

We are in the process of leaving our church, and about to enbark on exploring a house church expression of fellowship. We have managed to leave on good terms, and currently still have the ears of the pastor and several leaders open to us. Of course there are many associated hurs involved, and I am looking forward to being able to move beyond these, and come into true fellowship with these people (currently there are many "program related" blockages, but it seems that already there is a more relaxed air around these people, now that there is no need to "preform" around us). We have known some people who worship at home, for a while (associated with Ben Isreal Fellowship) so we will initally lean on them somewhat, as we get used to not having the "system" around us.

I have long considered myself to be a missionary to counterfeigt converts, and there have been many in our church. Something that occured to me was how William Carey's wife commited suicide whilst they were out on the Indian mission field. I heard someone say that Carey went on his own, and then bowed to pressure to take her with him. This story made me think of how I subjected by wife to having to endure the kind of church that we have been attending.

It would seem that the Lord is requiring that I honour her, and respect her limitations by getting her out of this environment, so we can focus on seeking and saving the lost, without being hindered by filling our minds with unbiblical teaching and couterfeigt fellowship. Our walk with God and ministry has not been dependant on programs for quite a while, and in fact they have only served as hinderances.

Anyway, just thought I'd give an overview. We are getting back on track, and I know that this is the work of God. I am greatful that He has allowed me to cling to Him through all this, in spite of having "doubts" along the way. This experience has taught me so much about the differences between the "thoughts" and the "intents of the heart", and being preserved by allowing the "Word of God", which "quick and powerful, sharper than a two edged sword", to "divide (them) asunder".

Praise God for allowing excruciating circumstances to occur, so as to prove our faith. Thank you all for your prayers, they have been our lifeblood.


_________________
Aaron Ireland

 2006/12/6 5:26Profile





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