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K_DAY
Member



Joined: 2006/7/28
Posts: 144
Ann Arbor, MI

 Biblical Relationships

I just finished listening to a sermon by Paul Washer about Biblical Manhood. I was absolutely shocked to find out how ignorant I have been all this time about Biblical precedents for relationships. I have always listened to and watched how it works in the world (which isn't much different than the Christian communities I am a part of).

I am asking anyone who knows anything about this subject to post and give me guidance as to what Biblical courting involves. This is particularly relevant to me because I am currently in a relationship with someone who I call my "girlfriend." As I was listening, I fell under conviction that there are so many ways that I have gone about things wrong and I am asking God to reveal to me how it is supposed to be and how I can repent.

Since I failed to ask God what His Biblical way is in all of this, I have put the relationship on the altar. I am fearful of what the outcome may be but I am dedicated to following the way of the Lord, and I need prayer. This is a girl I care about so deeply and dream about marrying. Please help me gain a Biblical understanding of how a man should pursue a woman.

Endless Love.

-K DAY

 2006/9/6 1:50Profile
sermonindex
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Joined: 2002/12/11
Posts: 37518
"Pilgrim and Sojourner." - 1 Peter 2:11

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 Re: Biblical Relationships

Here are the audio files this brother is responding to:

[b](Biblical Manhood) -evening banquet[/b]
https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/visit.php?lid=13055

[b](Biblical Manhood) -morning brunch[/b]
https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/visit.php?lid=13054

More Paul Washer sermons here: https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/viewcat.php?cid=442


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SI Moderator - Greg Gordon

 2006/9/6 2:34Profile
sermonindex
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Joined: 2002/12/11
Posts: 37518
"Pilgrim and Sojourner." - 1 Peter 2:11

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 Re:

Here is another sermon possibly on the same topic:

[b]Be a Man (At Home and At Church)[/b]
https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/visit.php?lid=13070


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SI Moderator - Greg Gordon

 2006/9/6 3:12Profile
K_DAY
Member



Joined: 2006/7/28
Posts: 144
Ann Arbor, MI

 Re: Biblical Relationships

Maybe I could post a more general question that could help me understand this better:

What are the differences between a courting relationship and a dating relationship?

-K DAY

 2006/9/6 16:22Profile
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Joined: 2002/12/11
Posts: 37518
"Pilgrim and Sojourner." - 1 Peter 2:11

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 Re:

"courting relationship and a dating relationship?"

Courtship is biblical. Dating is not. I would like to see a more fuller discussion result on this thread with biblical references etc. Great question brother.


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SI Moderator - Greg Gordon

 2006/9/6 20:12Profile
K_DAY
Member



Joined: 2006/7/28
Posts: 144
Ann Arbor, MI

 Re:

Quote:

Courtship is biblical. Dating is not.



Yes, this seems to be the consensus that I am hearing from the Godly people I have been consulting about this. I need to start more basic though: What does courting look like in the first place? Why is this the Biblical way? I am shocked how in the dark I have been about this. I hardly even knew courting existed 2 days ago, let alone what it is...

 2006/9/6 20:25Profile
K_DAY
Member



Joined: 2006/7/28
Posts: 144
Ann Arbor, MI

 Re:

I would love some responses from people who have a good grasp on this. Last night I broke up with my "girlfriend" of a long time because I fell under strong conviction that "dating" is not a Biblical institution. It was an extremely hard thing to do, but I desire to repent from all wordly things in my life. Now, more than ever, "what is the Biblical precedent" is an extremely relevant question on my mind. Any help here?

-K DAY

 2006/9/7 17:33Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7488
Mississippi

 Re:

K-Day,

I did a search on the web for "Biblical Courtship" and numerous sites came up, most of which were selling books dealing with this issue. I got a few links here that may help you get started. I did not study them thoroughly but they look helpful. But like anything else, you will need to use discernment.

http://www.courtshipconnection.com/courtship2.html

http://www.courtshipconnection.net/bok/StarterFAQ.html

http://www.curriculumconnection.net/biblical%20courtship.htm

God bless you in your diligence in serving Him. Your testimony is so refreshing!

ginnyrose


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Sandra Miller

 2006/9/7 21:08Profile
BeYeDoers
Member



Joined: 2005/11/17
Posts: 370
Bloomington, IN

 Re:

i just finished listening to the first Washer sermon that Greg posted. Loved and understood most of it. A few questions though:

1. I'm 22 and in professional school with people from all over the country (and other countries) from ages 21 through mid 30s. Let's say there is a biblical woman that I am attracted to and I have met the "criteria" for pure motives and seeking the wisdom of my father and spiritual leaders. I know absolutely nothing about her father other than fact that he lives more than 1000 miles from me. Due to privacy, there is absolutely no way for me to even find out his name to get his phone number or address. She is the only person allowed to disclose that information, which I can't get from her if I follow all of Paul Washer's biblical advice. The question is am I just supposed to assume that since I can't contact her father or even find out who he is that such a thing isn't from God?

2. where are we commanded in scripture to never spend any alone time with the opposite sex? even in listening to his baking cookies example, I don't see how he would have been violating scripture.


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Denver McDaniel

 2006/9/7 22:50Profile
TaylorOtwell
Member



Joined: 2006/6/19
Posts: 927
Arkansas

 Re:

I don't think he was saying being alone with them is necessarily unBiblical, but rather could lead to a compromising situation, I guess depending on how well you are able to control yourself and your emotions.

Some things about courtship that I have heard is that:

1) Only be courting someone you seriously think you might marry. If at any time you know that you can't marry that person, end the courtship.

2) Personally, I will not kiss until my wedding day, because, if we don't get married, I am defrauding the future husband of that kiss to his own wife. I wouldn't cuddle up either... I am still debating holding hands? What do you guys think?

3) Never even give the appearance that something immoral could be going on, even if your own hearts are pure, you can't even give other people room to guess.

4) Be mature enough to be a spiritual leader to the woman.


Those are just a few things I have heard.


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Taylor Otwell

 2006/9/7 23:33Profile





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