One night I was praying and the devil tempted me with technical ability I heard my mouth say "yes" for my soul. I then screamed out "no" over and over again and then again. I felt like I was going to hell and not even a christian. I feel like the lord has been battling for my soul. I so want my soul locked up in heaven and so that the devil cannot get it. I was so miserable I love Jesus so much and he is my Lord and Saviour I want to do all I can to please him not only say it but do it. Anyway I was so miserable and felt like I went down to hell liturally. I was praying liturally teh whole night to ask god back into my life. I know all the verses about hell and they really did kind of scared me being in eternity with no food or drink, being burned alive for the rest of your life in torment and being in pain, the worst thing in my view is being away from Jesus. That experience made me wanted to save every person I can from that pit of hell. I dont want anybody to go there. I love jesus so much and why did I do such a thing. All I know is that my mind was not working properly at the time and I know it may have been forced worship but even saying anything like that is completly out of the question for me because I know the bible verse out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Anyway god got me out of it , hopefully but it has shaken me up. I need Jesus , I long for Jesus. I was so upset about that I was thinking of banning myself from this forum because I was so miserable and i did not want to be a hypocrite , I did not want to do what I did and I have repented and repented. I thought it was the devil just getting a grip of me making me feel like i was not a christian and then failing Jesus is the worst thing. There is a verse that when your spirit unites with his spirit, I did not want other people to tell me that I was a christian I wanted to know in my heart. I have felt that reasurance recently but I want to feel so much like I am saved that noone on this planet can do anything about it. I love Jesus because I imagined hell and did not want to be there. DomJesus help, Jesus help I love Jesus so much I have found it so hard to talk about this, can the devil control your mouth.
me feel like i was not a christian
alot of time I normally pray alot and I normally have my bible on cd 24/7 . I listen to christian music all the timeDom
Dom, You're attacked because you're alone too much.You do all the pressing in to Jesus well ... but you don't communicate enough with the Body.I see Paula's email's up there and you have mine and probably other folks.You ought to keep in touch with brothers and sisters when you have needs or even praises and send out a group email to all of us with your thoughts .... whether they be good or bad .... Plus post here more.The wolf (demon) finds a 'lone' sheep easier to attack. Ya just need Body ministry to go along with all the neat things you're doing to get as close to our Jesus as possible. Others need to do half the stuff you're doing ... but you just need fellowship more.Make up a Dom-newsletter and put a bunch of us on your mailing list. I'd personally love it.I can't do that xanga thing, so that's the only reason I haven't been there. But emails I love.Gives me something to read where I can answer or not, depending how I'm feeling at that moment and if I DO answer half asleep - nobody minds - Haaaa.LOVE YOU as always.Annie too
Dom, I don't post on here much anymore, but when I read your post I felt compelled to reply.I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I do know how it feels to feel like a failure and a disappointment to the Lord. I have been feeling this way the last few days. But I am trusting the Lord to finish this good work that He started in me and He will do the same for you if you trust Him- rest in Him.I read this today by Amy Carmichael and posted it on my [url=www.xanga.com/more_of_him]xanga[/url]:-------------------His (her) thoughts said, "I am ashamed because of my poverty of love and my interrupted obedience."[i]His (her) Father said, "I know it all. I know thee as thou art and yet I love thee."[/i]His thoughts said, "I often pray to be delivered from slothfulness that all the spaces of my time may be fruitfully filled by Thee; and yet the spaces seem to me quite empty, and the little that is done is so imperfectly done that I am ashamed."[i]His Father said, "Commit thine empty spaces to Me, and let thy trust be in the tender mercy of thy God forever and ever. [b]I will perfect thy imperfections."[/b][/i]-Amy Carmichael (His Thoughts Said...His Father Said...)-----------------We cannot be 'try' to be any more holy or perfect. The more we try, the more we fail. Surrender this to Him and offer it to Him and say that you trust Him to work this in you. And it will take time. Praying for you, that you know His peace, His mercy and His love for you.In His love, Chanin
I want to feel so much like I am saved that noone on this planet can do anything about it.
I do not want to discount what has been said in the previous posts here. There is much truth in them.I am aware, Dom, that we are not familiar with each other. I have read many of your posts, and have felt a lot of the things which you are feeling now.We are family. And I am glad that you have posted this thread to keep your family posted."He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." [u][b]Hebrews 13:5[/b][/u]I know that you know this, but I pray that you'll be encouraged by God's own word. You are aware of our Lord's love for you. Let me tell you what a mentor I had in high school told me: you can't do anything that will shock God. He is not suprised at our failings. And His love for you is not based on your being perfect, or even good.Understand that I would be the first to spur you on to holiness, so I am not advocating sin. I feel led right now to encourage you to take heart in the faithfulness of the Most High, He Who gave Himself for you.Many passages of scripture come to mind, so much so that I am not sure what to say.[u][b]2 Timothy 2:13[/b][/u] "If we believe not, yet he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself."God is faithful. This cannot be stressed enough. Your salvation is not based on your works (Ephesians 2:8-9); your forgiveness is not based on you own righteousness (1 John 1:9-10, Philippians 3:9); God's love toward you is not base on your earning it(1 John 4:9-10). Jesus bought you at the cross, and gained for you everything you need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). It's all in Him!Let me say something hard: you have turned from your sin, correct? (Even repentance is a gift) Now you have to trust God. YOU CANNOT GET IT RIGHT! None of us can. In man dwelleth no good thing (Romans 7:18), and without the True Vine we can do nothing at all (John 14:5). Christ Jesus is your Life (Colossians 3:4). Trust Him, submit to Him. And boy do I know how difficult this is to do.I hope that this post made sense. Like I said, I can relate to your situation, Dom. I am praying for you, as are the brethren. Have faith (another gift from the Father of lights), and watch God glorify Himself in you.Your brother,D.P.S. Make sure to check out the scriptures referenced in the post. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God (Romans 10:17).P.P.S. Here's an interesting article you may be interested in:http://www.christinyou.com/pages/vinebranch.html by David Tryon. Be blessed and encouraged!
Dear Dom,Diane said,
When we want to FEEL like we are saved, we are on dangerous ground. We must live by faith, not by sight or feelings. The object of our faith is God himself. Only what HE says about your salvation is valid.
This takes alot of courage to confess this to your brothers, I feel us as christians should take pointers, I know sometimes I do.I was just reading Ecclesiastes 4:9-10"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor, for if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But Woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up."thanks guys, and have a blessed day in the lordmatthew
Dom,I would encourage you to continue pressing in to the Lord. The devil is after your faith because if he can get that, he's got you. Two of my favorite verses in scripture are Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.I pray that you lean on Jesus because he will bring you through. I'm reminded of what Jesus told Peter in Luke 22 "And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired [to have] you, that he may sift [you] as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren."I'm praying that the Lord God will sustain you during this season of sifting. Know that you're not alone in this process...