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 Re:

I do apologize, I did not mean to say you had mental illness, but I have never heard of women who beat up their husbands. Maybe a pinch or something, yet I have heard of thousands of men who have beaten up women. If you find one or two that does not disprove my point.

 2014/7/11 7:48
rainydaygirl
Member



Joined: 2008/10/27
Posts: 742


 Re:

i accept your apology.



abuse is sin, no matter who is doing it. it is an issue the church needs to address just like many other issues with sin that needs to be addressed. i agree with you on that, but its not a man vs woman deal, its a sin issue. not sure what more there is to say on the topic at this point.


rdg

 2014/7/11 8:04Profile
brothagary
Member



Joined: 2011/10/23
Posts: 2556


 Re:

it happens all the time in australia krautfra... my aunty was like that,, she beat her husbane her brother ,, me ,,kicked me in the never reigions she did ,she abused many men ,,when she was drunk

 2014/7/11 18:13Profile
brothagary
Member



Joined: 2011/10/23
Posts: 2556


 Re:

my wife said in here work 35 percent of the men in her groups here phisicly abused ,,that is out of 90 men per dayin her groups ,,some of this abuse was verry serious ,,

 2014/7/11 18:20Profile
brothagary
Member



Joined: 2011/10/23
Posts: 2556


 Re:

and she estamated from memory that only half were on drugs or drunk


where do you live brenda ,,,sonds like ya living in a nice bubble if your not at all aware of this ,,i dont think australia would be any worse then usa

 2014/7/11 18:24Profile
brothagary
Member



Joined: 2011/10/23
Posts: 2556


 Re:

brenada you cant think that becasue you spent time in a shelter ,,that you gona get a correct statistical estamation of a situation

 2014/7/11 18:26Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 Re:

Brenda, My husband's step-grandmother abused her husband - my husband's grandfather - in every sense of the word. And she was very religious. I never heard she repented, either. She also abused husband #1. Some even wonder if she did not kill him because he died in a gun 'accident'. This is not an isolated incident - there are others.

Mentally ill? If one wants to deny the reality of sin you would call it mental illness, I suppose. But it is not consistent to suggest that if females abuse they are the ones with the mental illness but then say the men are not when they abuse women.

Regardless what you call it, sin is sin regardless who commits it and Jesus came to redeem all. To suggest it an illness gives it a feel of requiring psychiatric help to overcome it. And I am not sure that even the psychiatrists will say they can bring about sustained 'healing'.


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2014/7/11 18:33Profile









 Re:

Brothers and sisters,

Can't you see the inconsistency when you insist that men and women are different (which they are - very different indeed) and then fail to accept that they each sin for very different reasons, and don't have the exact same sin patterns.

It is a fact that in the vast majority of what is called Intimate Abuse rather than Domestic Violence, the perpetrator is a man and in cases of severe violence requiring hospital admission, the rate of male abusers skyrockets.

It is also a fact that alcohol and mental illness is a significant factor in a lot of cases of both sexes.

I am not denying that women do physically abuse men, of course they do, and I don't see the need to quote individual cases, as we just do not know anyone else so well as to deny that the person could suffer from transitional mental illness at the time. I know that PMS could possibly come under that category for possibly a huge number of women, and I know myself that at such times, my anger levels could have become on the edge of control ability.

But my point was that a woman taking the risk of retaliation from someone so much stronger than herself, is surely not in her right mind. No sane man would take on someone much, much stronger.

To do what you are all doing here, that is to say that both sexes do it therefore a special case cannot be made for women to be especially protected is to me, madness when the statistics show that women are indeed in greater need of protection from the law.

And as I said, the reasons for the attacks are very much different between the sexes. With women it is most likely to be a display of temper that she cannot control, for whatever reason whereas for men, it is much more likely to be for control purposes, and in a highly dysfunctional insecure male, a way of destroying all self esteem in his partner so that she will not leave him as he will have convinced her that no-one else will have her. I have found this to be quite common in shelters, where someone has persuaded the woman to leave for the sake of the children.

Of course this problem has on the main, been much worse outside of the church though is increasingly is becoming more common and 'pastor wife abuse' is now becoming heard of more frequently. I would like to point out that I said in the main, and ask that we do not have another set of examples to try to dismiss me.

http://www.dovechristiancounseling.com/AbusedMinistersWives.html

http://www.ccel.us/hearttoheart.ch7.html

http://marriagemissions.com/terror-in-the-parsonage/

There is a huge problem for women reporting abuse to their pastors as well. Many if not all of them will say as many of you have said that she should obey her husband and ask God to change him. I have read of many who have said that they did this and the abuse did not stop till eventually they did leave, but in the meantime, the children witnessed more and more damaging scenes. Is God going to change the husband that same day? No, so why let the children especially witness it after the first episode and the wife have more beatings?

A man who has lifted his hand to his wife just once, is hugely unlikely to stop unless there is intervention and any woman should leave the home for the sake of the whole family so that intervention and healing can take place.

Those who say she should stay, should have plenty of evidence to show that the husband does get changed by God,in every case, but why anyone would think that God acts against any person's will is beyond me.

Would people here agreeing with these ignorant pastors, take responsibility for any damage done because they were wrong? It is a hugely important issue involving lifelong damage to children and sometimes the wives. Men of course do suffer damage from women but as the situation is not life threatening from someone with the ability to turn and kill,and as there are no control issues in general (and not of the same type) the damage is much greater.

Gary my country is shown below my post count.

 2014/7/12 5:22
brothagary
Member



Joined: 2011/10/23
Posts: 2556


 Re:

brenda you just seem like you need to have the last say even when you are proven wrong ,,,you cant admit it sister ,,,,,and to imply that we are saying what we are not saying ,,and drawing implication by twisting what these sisters are saying to mean something else
''''''''''''' you said
To do what you are all doing here, that is to say that both sexes do it therefore a special case cannot be made for women to be especially protected is to me, madness when the statistics show that women are indeed in greater need of protection from the law.

an example above

bringing up a woman reteleating with vialence ,as if this has anything to do with what is being spoken of here ,,is non scence ,,,even so,,, in many cases wepons are used for that reason by some woman,,becasue of strenght resitrictions ,,,,this has nothing to do with the point that as being made by our grasious sisters


sister this is a biblical pattern that is being set forth by some verry wise experenced sisters ,,so i say show me the scripture that suports anything you said


these were showing what the bible says and were showing how they felt god led them in situations through bibical wisdom they lernt from the holy spirit .....you are living is a percetion buble if you think woman cant and dont kill and mame by reteleations and and flat out attacks

the women who my wife worked with in jail ,,,,,,20 percent were there for murder or extremly vilent retelations or attacks on men

my wife will never forget ,,out of all the pedos ,and mudres, rapests ,,male and female ,,a womman accoring to her was like ted bundy ,,with a etraodanary evil presence of evil ..pure evil was her words ,she was not safe to be in the same room as her

brenda you are one of the resons why i dismiss the holness teaching of perfectinism ,,as false,, when i witness people like your self who are ment to be holy holy holy ,,,but your conversasion are stained with the above folly laking humility and reading into to what people say and drawing false conclusions

 2014/7/12 6:18Profile
brothagary
Member



Joined: 2011/10/23
Posts: 2556


 Re:

with all respect to you as a female and a christan sister

what you wrote here shows your utter ignorence of the real world in which we live in and i find it almost imposable to believe that one can get to your matured age and say this


............... I do apologize, I did not mean to say you had mental illness, but I have never heard of women who beat up their husbands. Maybe a pinch or something, yet I have heard of thousands of men who have beaten up women. If you find one or two that does not disprove my point

to even try to convince someone of the truth of abuse ,,after reading this will be imposable

so i will bow out of this conversasion ,and apolagise to the oridgnal poster ,,and the others who posted ,that i may have whent a little of the oridgnal subjest ,,,may god bless us all

 2014/7/12 6:26Profile





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