The Imitation of Christ

THE IMITATION OF CHRIST by Thomas Akempis. Translated by the Rev. William Benham. THE FOURTH BOOK. Of the Sacrament of the Altar. CHAPTER I-X. A Devout Exhortation to the Holy Communion. THE VOICE OF CHRIST. Come unto me, all ye that labour, and are heavy laden, and I will refresh you. Matthew 11 verse 28. Saith the Lord, The bread that I will give is my flesh which I give for the life of the world. John 6 verse 51. Take, eat, this is my body which is given for you, this do in remembrance of me. Matthew 21 verse 26. Luke 22 verse 19. He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him. The words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life. John 6 verses 51 and 63. CHAPTER I. WITH HOW GREAT REVERENCE CHRIST MUST BE RECEIVED. THE VOICE OF THE DISCIPLE. These are thy words, O Christ, eternal truth, though not uttered at one time, nor written together in one place of Scripture. Because therefore they are thy words, and true, I must gratefully and faithfully receive them all. They are thine, and thou hast uttered them, and they are mine also, because thou didst speak them for my salvation. Gladly I receive them from thy mouth, that they may be more deeply implanted in my heart. Words of such great grace arouse me, for they are full of sweetness and love. But my own sins terrify me, and my impure conscience driveth me away from receiving so great mysteries. The sweetness of thy words encourageth me, but the multitude of my faults presseth me down. Thou commandest that I draw near to thee with firm confidence, if I would have part with thee, and that I receive the food of immortality, if I desire to obtain eternal life and glory. Come unto me, sayest thou, all that labour and are heavy-laden, and I will refresh you. O sweet and lovely word in the ear of the sinner, that thou, O Lord my God, dost invite the poor and needy to the communion of thy most holy body and blood. But who am I, O Lord, that I should presume to approach unto thee? Behold, the heaven of heavens cannot contain thee, and yet thou sayest, Come ye all unto me. What meaneth this most gracious condescension, this most lovely invitation? How shall I dare to come, who know no good thing of myself, whence I might be able to presume? How shall I bring thee within my house, seeing that I so often have sinned in thy most loving sight? Angels and archangels stand in awe of thee, the saints and just men fear thee, and thou sayest, Come unto me. Except thou, Lord, hast said it, who should believe it true? And except thou hast commanded, who should attempt to draw near? Behold, Noah, that just man, laboured for a hundred years in building the ark, that he might be saved with the few. And I, how shall I be able in one hour to prepare myself to receive the Builder of the world with reverence? Moses, thy servant, thy great and a special friend, made an ark of incorruptible wood, which also he covered with purest gold, that he might lay up in it the tables of the law. And I, a corruptible creature, shall I dare thus easily to receive thee, the Maker of the law and the Giver of life? Solomon, the wisest of the kings of Israel, was seven years building his magnificent temple to the praise of thy name, and for eight days celebrated the feast of its dedication, offering a thousand peace-offerings, and solemnly brought up the ark of the covenant to the place prepared for it, with the sound of trumpets and great joy. And I, unhappy and poorest of mankind, how shall I bring thee into my house, who scarcely know how to spend half an hour in devotion? Oh, that it were even one half-hour worthily spent! Oh, my God, how earnestly these holy men strove to please thee! And, alas, how little and trifling is that which I do! How short a time do I spend when I am disposing myself to communion! Rarely altogether collected, most rarely cleansed from all distraction! And surely in the saving presence of thy Godhead no unmeet thought ought to intrude, nor should any creature take possession of me, because it is not an angel, but the Lord of the angels, that I am about to receive as my guest. Yet there is a vast difference between the ark of the covenant with its relics, and thy most pure body with its ineffable virtues, between those sacrifices of the law which were figures of to come, and the true sacrifice of thy body, the completion of all the ancient sacrifices. Wherefore, then, do I not yearn more ardently after thy adorable presence? Why do I not prepare myself with greater solicitude to receive thy holy things, when those holy patriarchs and prophets of old, kings also, and princes, with the whole people, manifested so great affection of devotion towards thy divine service? The most devout King David danced with all his might before the ark of God, calling to mind the benefits granted to his forefathers in days past. He fashioned musical instruments of various sorts, put forth psalms, and appointed them to be sung with joy, played also himself oft-times on the harp, being inspired with the grace of the Holy Ghost. He taught the people of Israel to praise God with the whole heart, and with unity of voice to bless and praise Him every day. If so great devotion was then exercised, and celebration of divine praise was carried on before the ark of the testimony, how great reverence and devotion ought now to be shown by me, and all Christian people, at the ministering of the sacrament, at receiving the most precious body and blood of Christ! Many run to diverse places to visit the memorials of departed saints, and rejoice to hear of their deeds and to look upon the beautiful buildings of their shrines. And behold, thou art present here with me, O my God, Saint of Saints, Creator of men, and Lord of the angels. Often in looking at those memorials men are moved by curiosity and novelty, and very little fruit of amendment is borne away, especially when there is so much careless trifling and so little true contrition. But here, in the sacrament of the altar, thou art present altogether, my God, the man Christ Jesus. Where also abundant fruit of eternal life is given to every one soever that receiveth thee worthily and devoutly. But to this no levity draweth, no curiosity nor sensuality, only steadfast faith, devout hope, and sincere charity. O God, invisible Creator of the world, how wondrously dost thou work with us, how sweetly and graciously thou dealest with thine elect, to whom thou offerest thyself to be received in this sacrament. For this surpasseth all understanding, this specially draweth the hearts of the devout, and enkindleth their affections. For even thy true faithful ones themselves, who order their whole life to amendment, oftentimes gain from this most excellent sacrament great grace of devotion and love of virtue. O admirable and hidden grace of the sacrament, which only Christ's faithful ones know, but the faithless and those who serve sin cannot experience! In this sacrament is conferred spiritual grace, and lost virtue is regained in the soul, and the beauty which was disfigured by sin returneth again. So great sometimes is this grace, that out of the fullness of devotion given, not only the mind, but also the weak body, feeleth that more strength is supplied unto it. But greatly must we mourn and lament over our lukewarmness and negligence, that we are not drawn by greater affection to become partakers of Christ, in whom all the hope and the merit of those that are to be saved consist. For he himself is our sanctification and redemption. 1 Corinthians 1 verse 30. He is the consolation of pilgrims and the eternal fruition of the saints. Therefore it is grievously to be lamented that many so little consider this health-giving mystery, which maketh heaven glad and preserveth the whole world. Alas for the blindness and hardness of man's heart, that he considereth not more this unspeakable gift, and even slippeth down through the daily use into carelessness. For if this most holy sacrament were celebrated in one place only, and were consecrated only by one priest in the whole world, with what great desire, thinkest thou, would men be affected towards that place, and towards such a priest of God, that they might behold the divine mysteries celebrated? But now are many men made priests, and in many places the sacrament is celebrated, that the grace and love of God towards men might the more appear, the more widely the holy communion is spread abroad over all the world. Thanks be unto thee, O good Jesus, eternal Shepherd, who hast vouchsafed to refresh us, poor and exiled ones, with thy precious body and blood, and to invite us to partake these holy mysteries by the invitation from thine own mouth, saying, Come unto me, ye who labour and are heavy laden, and I will refresh you. CHAPTER II. THAT THE GREATNESS AND CHARITY OF GOD IS SHOWN TO MEN IN THE SACRAMENT. THE VOICE OF THE DISCIPLE. Trusting in thy goodness and great mercy, O Lord, I draw near, the sick to the healer, the hungering and thirsting to the fountain of life, the poverty-stricken to the King of heaven, the servant to the Lord, the creature to the Creator, the desolate to my own gentle Comforter. But whence is this unto me, that thou comest unto me? Who am I, that thou shouldst offer me thyself? How doth a sinner dare to appear before thee, and how dost thou vouchsafe to come to the sinner? Thou knowest thy servant, and thou knowest that he hath in him no good thing for which thou shouldst grant him this grace. I confess therefore mine own vileness, I acknowledge thy goodness, I praise thy tenderness, and I give thee thanks for thine exceeding great love. For thou doest this for thine own sake, not for my merit, that thy goodness may be more manifest unto me, thy charity more abundantly poured out upon me, and thy humility more perfectly commended unto me. Therefore, because this pleaseth thee, and thou hast commanded that thus it shall be, thy condescension pleaseth me also, and, O, that mine iniquity hinder it not! O most sweet and tender Jesus, what reverence, what giving of thanks is due to thee with perpetual praise for the receiving of thy sacred body and blood, the dignity whereof no man is found able to express? But what shall I think upon in this communion in approaching my Lord, whom I am not able worthily to honour, and nevertheless whom I long devoutly to receive? What shall be better and more healthful meditation for me than utter humiliation of myself before thee, and exaltation of thine infinite goodness towards me? I praise thee, O my God, and exalt thee for evermore. I despise myself, and cast myself down before thee into the deep of my vileness. Behold, thou art the saint of saints, and I the refuse of sinners. Behold, thou stoopest unto me, who am not worthy to look upon thee. Behold, thou comest unto me, thou willest to be with me, thou invitest me to thy feast. Thou willest to give me the heavenly food and bread of angels to eat, none other in truth than thyself, the living bread, which didst descend from heaven, and givest life to the world. John 6 verse 51. Behold, whence this love precedeth? What manner of condescension shineth forth herein? What great giving of thanks and praise is due unto thee for these benefits? O, how salutary and profitable thy purpose, when thou didst ordain this! How sweet and pleasant the feast, when thou didst give thyself for food! O, how admirable is thy working, O Lord, how mighty thy power, how unspeakable thy truth! For thou didst speak the word, and all things were made, and this is done which thou hast commanded. A thing wonderful, and worthy of faith, and surpassing all understanding of man, that thou, O Lord my God, very God and very man, givest thyself altogether to us in a little bread and wine, and art so our inexhaustible food. Thou, O Lord of all, who hast need of nothing, hast willed to dwell in us through thy sacrament. Preserve my heart and my body undefiled, that with a joyful and pure conscience I may be able very often to receive to my perpetual health. Thy mysteries, which thou hast consecrated and instituted both for thine honour, and for a perpetual memorial. Rejoice, O my soul, and give thanks unto God for so great a gift and precious consolation, left unto thee in this veil of tears. For so oft as thou callest this mystery to mind, and receivest the body of Christ, so often dost thou celebrate the work of thy redemption, and art made partaker of all the merits of Christ. For the charity of Christ never groweth less, and the greatness of his propitiation is never exhausted. Therefore, by continual renewal of thy spirit, thou oughtest to dispose thyself hereunto, and to weigh the great mystery of salvation with attentive consideration. So great, new, and joyful ought it to appear to thee, when thou comest to communion, as if on this selfsame day Christ for the first time were descended into the Virgin's womb, and becoming man, or hanging on the cross, suffering and dying for the salvation of mankind. CHAPTER III. THAT IT IS PROFITABLE TO COMMUNICATE OFTEN. THE VOICE OF THE DISCIPLE. Behold, I come unto thee, O Lord, that I may be blessed through thy gift, and be made joyful in thy holy feast, which thou, O God, of thy goodness hast prepared for the poor. Psalm 68 verse 10. Behold, in thee is all that I can and ought to desire. Thou art my salvation and redemption, my hope and strength, my honour and glory. Therefore rejoice the soul of thy servant this day, for unto thee, O Lord Jesus, do I lift up my soul. Psalm 86 verse 4. I long now to receive thee devoutly and reverently. I desire to bring thee into my house, so that Zacchaeus and I may be counted worthy to be blessed by thee, and numbered among the children of Abraham. My soul hath an earnest desire for thy body, my heart longeth to be united with thee. Give me thyself, and it sufficeth, for besides thee no consolation availeth. Without thee I cannot be, and without thy visitation I have no power to live. And therefore I must needs draw nigh unto thee often, and receive thee for the healing of my soul, lest happily I faint by the way, if I be deprived of heavenly food. For so thou, most merciful Jesus, preaching to the people, and healing many sick, didst once say, I will not send them away fasting to their own homes, lest they faint by the way. Matthew 15 verse 32. Deal therefore now to me in like manner, for thou left thyself for the consolation of the faithful in the sacrament. For thou art the sweet refreshment of the soul, and he who shall eat thee worthily shall be partaker and inheritor of the eternal glory. Necessary indeed it is for me, who so often slide backwards and sin, so quickly wax cold and faint, to renew, cleanse, enkindle myself by frequent prayers and penitences, and receiving of thy sacred body and blood, lest happily by too long abstinence I fall short of my holy resolutions. For the imaginations of man's heart are evil from his youth. Genesis 8 verse 21. And except divine medicine succour him, man slideth away continually unto the worse. The holy communion therefore draweth us back from evil, and strengtheneth us for good. For if I now be so negligent and lukewarm when I communicate, how should it be with me, if I receive not this medicine, and sought not so great a help? For this is the one principal consolation of a faithful soul, so long as it is absent from thee in mortal body, that being continually mindful of its God, it receiveth its beloved with devout spirit. O wonderful condescension of thy pity surrounding us, that thou, O Lord God, creator and quickener of all spirits, deignest to come unto a soul so poor and weak, and to appease its hunger with thy whole deity and humanity. O happy mind and blessed soul, to which is granted devoutly to receive thee its Lord God, and in so receiving thee to be filled with all spiritual joy. O how great a lord doth it entertain, how beloved a guest doth it bring in, how delightful a companion doth it receive, how faithful a friend doth it welcome, how beautiful and exalted a spouse! Above every other beloved doth it embrace, one to be loved above all things that can be desired. O my most sweet beloved, let heaven and earth and all the glory of them be silent in thy presence. Seeing whatsoever praise and beauty they have, it is of thy gracious bounty, and they shall never reach unto the loveliness of thy name, whose wisdom is infinite. CHAPTER IV. THAT MANY GOOD GIFTS ARE BESTOWED UPON THOSE WHO COMMUNICATE DEVOUTLY. THE VOICE OF THE DISCIPLE. O Lord my God, prevent thou thy servant with the blessings of thy sweetness, that I may be enabled to draw near worthily and devoutly to thy glorious sacrament. Awaken my heart towards thee, and deliver me from heavy slumber. Visit me with thy salvation, that I may in spirit taste thy sweetness, which plentifully lieth hid in this sacrament as in a fountain. Lighten also mine eyes to behold this so great mystery, and strengthen me, that I may believe it with undoubting faith. For it is thy word, not human power. It is thy holy institution, not the invention of man. For no man is found fit in himself to receive and to understand these things, which transcend even the wisdom of the angels. What portion, then, shall I, unworthy sinner, who am but dust and ashes, be able to search into and comprehend of so deep a sacrament? O Lord, in the simplicity of my heart, in good and firm faith, and according to thy will, I draw nigh unto thee with hope and reverence, and truly believe that thou art here present in the sacrament, God and man. Thou willest, therefore, that I receive thee and unite myself to thee in charity. Wherefore I beseech thy mercy, and implore thee to give me thy special grace, to this end, that I may be wholly dissolved and overflow with love towards thee, and no more suffer any other consolation to enter into me. For this most high and glorious sacrament is the health of the soul and the body, the medicine of all spiritual sickness, whereby I am healed of my sins, my passions are bridled, temptations are conquered or weakened, more grace is poured into me, virtue begun is increased, faith is made firm, hope is strengthened, and charity is enkindled and enlarged. For in this sacrament thou hast bestowed many good things, and still bestowest them continually on thine elect who communicate devoutly. O my God, lifter up of my soul, repairer of human infirmity, and giver of all inward consolation! For thou pourest into them much consolation against all sorts of tribulation, and out of the deep of their own misery thou liftest them up to the hope of thy protection, and with ever new grace dost inwardly refresh and enlighten them, so that they who felt themselves to be anxious and without affection before communion, afterwards being refreshed with heavenly food and drink, find themselves changed for the better. And even in such wise thou dealest severally with thine elect, that they may truly acknowledge and clearly make proof that they have nothing whatsoever of their own, and what goodness and grace come to them from thee. Because being in themselves cold, hard of heart, indevout, through thee they become fervent, zealous, and devout. For who is there, coming humbly to the fountain of sweetness, carrieth not away thence at the least some little of that sweetness? Or who, standing by a large fire, feeleth not from thence a little of its heat? And thou art ever a full and overflowing fountain, a fire continually burning and never going out. Wherefore, if it is not suffered to me to draw from the fullness of the fountain, nor to drink unto satisfying, yet will I set my lips to the mouth of the heavenly conduit, that at least I may receive a small drop to quench my thirst, that I dry not up within my heart. And if I am not yet able to be altogether heavenly, and so enkindled as the cherubim and seraphim, yet will I endeavour to give myself unto devotion, and to prepare my heart, that I may gain, if it be but a little flame of the divine fire, through the humble receiving of the life-giving sacrament. But whatsoever is wanting unto me, O merciful Jesus, most holy Saviour, do thou of thy kindness and grace supply, who hast vouchsafed to call all unto thee, saying, Come unto me, all ye that are weary and heavy-laden, and I will refresh you. I, indeed, labour in the sweat of my face, I am tormented with sorrow of heart, I am burdened with sins, I am disquieted with temptations, I am entangled and oppressed with many passions, and there is none to help me, there is none to deliver and ease me, but thou, O Lord God my Saviour, to whom I commit myself and all things that are mine, that thou mayest preserve me, and lead me unto life eternal. Receive me unto the praise and glory of thy name, who hast prepared thy body and blood to be my meat and drink. Grant, O Lord God my Saviour, that with coming often to thy mysteries, the zeal of my devotion may increase. CHAPTER V. OF THE DIGNITY OF THIS SACRAMENT, AND OF THE OFFICE OF THE PRIEST. THE VOICE OF THE BELOVED. If thou hadst angelic purity, and the holiness of holy John the Baptist, thou wouldst not be worthy to receive or to minister this sacrament. For this is not deserved by merit of man, that a man should consecrate and minister the sacrament of Christ, and take for food the bread of angels. Vast is the mystery, and great is the dignity of the priests, to whom is given what is not granted to angels. For priests only, rightly ordained in the church, have the power of consecrating and celebrating the body of Christ. A priest indeed is the minister of God, using the word of God by God's command and institution. Nevertheless God is there the principal author and invisible worker, that to whom all that he willeth is subject, and all he commandeth is obedient. Therefore thou must believe God Almighty in this most excellent sacrament, more than thine own sense or any visible sign at all. And therefore with fear and reverence is this work to be approached. Take heed, therefore, and see what it is of which the ministry is committed to thee by the laying on of the bishop's hand. Behold, thou art made a priest, and art consecrated to celebrate. See now that thou do it before God faithfully and devoutly at due time, and show thyself without blame. Thou hast not lightened thy burden, but art now bound with a straighter bond of discipline, and art pledged to a higher degree of holiness. A priest ought to be adorned with all virtues, and to afford to others an example of good life. His conversation must not be with the popular and common ways of men, but with angels in heaven, or with perfect men on earth. A priest clad in holy garments taketh Christ's place, that he may pray unto God with all supplication and humility for himself and for the whole people. He must always remember the passion of Christ. He must diligently look upon Christ's footsteps, and fervently endeavour himself to follow them. He must bear meekly for God whatsoever ills are brought upon him by others. He must mourn for his own sins, and for the sins committed by others, and may not grow careless of prayer and holy oblation, until he prevail to obtain grace and mercy. When the priest celebrateth, he honoureth God, giveth joy to the angels, buildeth up the church, helpeth the living, hath communion with the departed, and maketh himself a partaker of all good things. CHAPTER VI. AN ENQUIRY CONCERNING PREPARATION FOR COMMUNION. THE VOICE OF THE DISCIPLE. When I consider thy dignity, O Lord, and mine own vileness, I tremble very exceedingly, and am confounded within myself. For if I approach not, I fly from life, and if I intrude myself unworthily, I run into thy displeasure. What then shall I do, O my God, thou helper and counsellor in necessities? Teach thou me the right way, propound unto me some short exercise befitting holy communion. For it is profitable to know how I ought to prepare my heart devoutly and reverently for thee, to the intent that I may receive thy sacrament to my soul's health. CHAPTER VII. OF THE EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE AND PURPOSE OF AMENDMENT. THE VOICE OF THE BELOVED. Above all things the priest of God must draw nigh with all humility of heart and supplicating reverence, with full faith and pious desire for the honour of God, to celebrate, minister, and receive this sacrament. Diligently examine thy conscience, and with all thy might, with true contrition and humble confession, cleanse and purify it, so that thou mayest feel no burden, nor know anything which bringeth thee remorse and impedeth thy free approach. Have displeasure against all thy sins in general, and specially sorrow and mourn because of thy daily transgressions. And if thou have time, confess unto God in the secret of thine heart all miseries of thine own passion. Lament grievously and be sorry, because thou art still so carnal and worldly, so unmortified from thy passions, so full of the motion of concupiscence, so unguarded in thine outward senses, so often entangled in many vain fancies, so much inclined to outward things, so negligent of internal, so ready to laughter and dissoluteness, so unready to weeping and contrition, so prone to ease and indulgence of the flesh, so dull to zeal and fervour, so curious to hear novelties and behold beauties, so loath to embrace things humble and despised, so desirous to have many things, so grudging in giving, so close in keeping, so inconsiderate in speaking, so reluctant to keep silence, so disorderly in manners, so inconsiderate in actions, so eager after food, so deaf towards the word of God, so eager after rest, so slow to labour, so watchful after tales, so sleepy towards holy watchings, so eager for the end of them, so wandering in attention to them, so negligent in observing the hours of prayer, so lukewarm in celebrating, so unfruitful in communicating, so quickly distracted, so seldom quite collected with thyself, so quickly moved to anger, so ready for displeasure at others, so prone to judging, so severe at reproving, so joyful in prosperity, so weak in adversity, so often making many good resolutions, and bringing them to so little effect. When thou hast confessed and bewailed these and thy other shortcomings, with sorrow and sore displeasure at thine own infirmity, make then a firm resolution of continual amendment of life, and of progress in all that is good. Then, moreover, with full resignation and entire will, offer thyself to the honour of my name, on the altar of thine heart, as a perpetual whole burnt offering, even by faithfully presenting thy body and soul unto me, to the end that thou mayest so be accounted worthy to draw near to offer this sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving to God, and to receive the sacrament of my body and blood to thy soul's health. For there is no oblation worthier, no satisfaction greater for the destroying of sin, than that a man offer himself to God purely and entirely with the oblation of body and blood of Christ in the Holy Communion. If a man shall have done what in him lieth, and shall repent him truly, then how often soever he shall draw nigh unto me for pardon and grace. As I live, saith the Lord, I have no pleasure in the death of a sinner, but rather that he should be converted and live. All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him.—Ezekiel 18, verses 22 and 23. CHAPTER VIII. OF THE OBLATION OF CHRIST UPON THE CROSS, AND OF RESIGNATION OF SELF. THE VOICE OF THE BELOVED. As I, of my own will, offered myself unto God the Father on the cross for thy sins, with outstretched hands and naked body, so that nothing remained in me that did not become altogether a sacrifice for the divine propitiation, so also oughtest thou every day to offer thyself willingly unto me for a pure and holy oblation with all thy strength and affections, even to the utmost powers of thine heart. What more do I require of thee than thou study to resign thyself altogether unto me? Whatsoever thou givest besides thyself I nothing care for, for I ask not thy gift, but thee. As it would not be sufficient for thee if thou hadst all things except me, even so whatsoever thou shalt give me, if thou give me not thyself, it cannot please me. Offer thyself to me, and give thyself altogether for God, so shall thy offering be accepted. Behold, I offered myself altogether to the Father for thee. I gave also my whole body and blood for food, that thou mightest remain altogether mine, and I thine. But if thou stand in thyself, and offer not thyself freely to my will, thy offering is not perfect, neither shall the union betwixt us be complete. Therefore ought the free will offering of thyself into the hands of God to go before all thy works, if thou wilt attain liberty and grace. For this is the cause that so few are inwardly enlightened and made free, that they know not how to deny themselves entirely. My word standeth sure, except a man forsake all, he cannot be my disciple. Luke 14 verse 33 Thou therefore, if thou wilt be my disciple, offer thyself to me with all thy affections. CHAPTER IX. THAT WE OUGHT TO OFFER OURSELVES AND ALL THAT IS OURS TO GOD, AND TO PRAY FOR ALL. THE VOICE OF THE DISCIPLE. Lord, all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine. 1 Chronicles 29 verse 11. I desire to offer myself upon to thee, as a free will offering, and to continue thine for ever. Lord, in the uprightness of mine heart I willingly offer, 1 Chronicles 29 verse 17, myself to thee today to be thy servant for ever, in humble submission, and for a sacrifice of perpetual praise. Receive me with this holy communion of thy precious body, which I celebrate before thee this day in the presence of the angels invisibly surrounding, that it may be for the salvation of me and of all thy people. Lord, I lay before thee at this celebration all my sins and offences which I have committed before thee and thy holy angels, from the day whereon I was first able to sin even unto this hour, that thou mayest consume and burn them every one with the fire of thy charity, and mayest do away all the stains of my sins, and cleanse my conscience from all offence, and restore me to thy favour, which by sinning I have lost, fully forgiving me all, and mercifully admitting me to the kiss of peace. What can I do concerning my sins, save humbly to confess and lament them, and unceasingly to beseech thy propitiation? I beseech thee, be propitious unto me, and hear me when I stand before thee, O my God. All my sins displease me grievously. I will never more commit them. But I grieve for them, and will grieve so long as I live, steadfastly purposing to repent me truly, and to make restitution as far as I can. Forgive me, O God, forgive me my sins for thy holy name's sake. Save my soul, which thou hast redeemed with thy precious blood. Behold, I commit myself to thy mercy. I resign myself to thy hands. Deal with me according to thy loving kindness, not according to my wickedness and iniquity. I offer also unto thee all my goodness, though it is exceedingly little and imperfect, that thou mayest mend and sanctify it, that thou mayest make it well-pleasing and acceptable in thy sight, and ever draw it on towards perfection, and furthermore bring me safely, slothful and poor creature that I am, to a happy and blessed end. Moreover, I offer unto thee all pious desires of the devout, necessities of parents, friends, brothers, sisters, and all who are dear to me, and of those who have done good to me or to others for thy love, and those who have desired and besought my prayers for themselves and all belonging to them, that all may feel themselves assisted by thy grace, enriched by consolation, protected from dangers, freed from pains, and that being delivered from all evils they may joyfully give thee exceeding thanks. I offer also to thee prayers and sacramental intercessions for those especially who have injured me in ought, made me sad, or spoke an evil concerning me, or have caused me any loss or displeasure. For all those also whom I have at any time made sad, disturbed, burdened, and scandalized, by words or deeds, knowingly or ignorantly, that to all of us alike thou mayest equally pardon our sins and mutual offences. Take away, O Lord, from our hearts all suspicion, indignation, anger, and contention, and whatsoever is able to injure charity and diminish brotherly love. Have mercy, have mercy, Lord, on those who entreat thy mercy. Give grace to the needy, and make us such that we may be worthy to enjoy thy grace, and go forward to the life eternal. Amen. CHAPTER X THAT HOLY COMMUNION IS NOT LIKELY TO BE OMITTED. THE VOICE OF THE BELOVED. Thou must frequently betake thee to the fountain of grace and divine mercy, to the fountain of goodness and all purity, to the end that thou mayest obtain the healing of thy passions and vices, and mayest be made stronger and more watchful against all temptations and wiles of the devil. The enemy, knowing what profit and exceeding strong remedy lieth in the holy communion, striveth by all means and occasions to draw back and hinder the faithful and devout so far as he can. For when some set about to prepare themselves for holy communion, they suffer from the more evil suggestions of Satan. The very evil spirit himself, as is written in Job, cometh among the sons of God, that he may trouble them by his accustomed evil dealing, or make them over-timid and perplexed, to the intent that he may diminish their affections, or take away their faith by his attacks, if happily he may prevail upon them to give up holy communion altogether, or to come thereto with lukewarm hearts. But his wiles and delusions must not be heeded, howsoever wicked and terrible they be. But all his delusion must be cast back upon his own head. The wretch must be despised and laughed to scorn. Neither must holy communion be omitted because of his insults and the inward troubles which he stirreth up. Often also too much carefulness, or some anxiety or other touching confession, hindereth from obtaining devotion. Do thou according to the counsel of wise men, and lay aside anxiety and scruple, because it hindereth the grace of God, and destroyeth devotion of mind. Because of some little vexation or trouble, do not thou neglect holy communion, but rather hasten to confess it, and forgive freely all offences committed against thee. And if thou hast offended any man, humbly beg for pardon, and God shall freely forgive thee. What profiteth it, to put off for a long time the confession of thy sins, or to defer holy communion? Cleanse thyself forthwith, spit out the poison with all speed, hasten to take the remedy, and thou shalt feel thyself better than if thou didst long defer it. If to-day thou defer it on one account, to-morrow perchance some greater obstacle will come, and so thou mayest be long time hindered from communion, and become more unfit. As soon as thou canst, shake thyself from thy present heaviness and sloth, for it profiteth nothing to be long anxious, to go long on thy way with heaviness of heart, and because of daily little obstacles to sever thyself from divine things. Nay, it is exceeding hurtful to defer thy communion long, for this commonly bringeth on great torpor. Alas, there are some, lukewarm and undisciplined, who willingly find excuses for delaying repentance, and desire to defer holy communion, lest they should be bound to keep strict a watch upon themselves. Alas, how little charity, what flagging devotion, have they who so lightly put off holy communion! How happy is he, how acceptable to God, who so liveth, and in such purity of conscience keepeth himself, that any day he could be ready and well inclined to communicate, if it were in his power, and might be done without the notice of others. If a man sometimes abstaineth for the sake of humility, or some sound cause, he is to be commended for his reverence. But if drowsiness have taken hold of him, he ought to rouse himself, and to do what in him lieth, and the Lord will help his desire for the good will which he hath, which God specially approveth. But when he is hindered by sufficient cause, yet will he ever have a good will and pious intention to communicate, and so he shall not be lacking in the fruit of the sacrament. For any devout man is able every day and every hour to draw near to spiritual communion with Christ, to his soul's health, and without hindrance. Nevertheless, on certain days and at the appointed time, he ought to receive the body and blood of his Redeemer with affectionate reverence, and rather to seek after the praise and honour of God than his own comfort. For so doth he communicate mystically, and is invisibly refreshed, as he devoutly calleth to mind the mystery of Christ's incarnation and his passion, and is inflamed with the love of him. He who only prepareth himself when a festival is at hand, or custom compelleth, will too often be unprepared. Blessed is he who offereth himself to God for a whole burnt offering, so often as he celebrateth or communicateth. Be not too slow nor too hurried in thy communicating, but preserve the good received custom of those with whom thou livest. Thou oughtest not to produce weariness and annoyance in others, but to observe the received custom, according to the institution of the elders, and to minister to the profit of others, rather than to thine own devotion or feeling.