One of my favorite books of the bible, if not my favorite, is the book of Ecclesiastes. This book awakened me to my true self, and the reality of my shadowy existence. When I was much younger I thought everything was about me. But, as I got older I started realizing I was nothing more than a passing thought.
Before my conversion, I slipped into a deep depression. The reality of all this came crashing down on me when I went to work as a Paramedic. Suddenly, I was thrown into a world of death and destruction. I saw poverty at a level I did'nt know existed. I saw the results of drug use on familys. I saw the results of sin in it's rawest forms. Everywere was caos, and I felt like I was loosing my mind. I had never been exposed to this kind of world, and it was all too much to handle.
I began binge drinking just to forget about what I had to see and expierience at my job. I lost the ability to function in my marriage, and my friends started thinking I had lost my mind. During this time, not many of my frinds could stand to be around me. I can't say that I blame them. I was a wreck! I began contemplating suicide and that's when I knew there was a problem. I began searching for God. The puritans called this SEEKING and even built a doctrine around it. I read many books and even tried books by different religions to see if maybe I was missing anything. I began to read Finney, and Whitfield, John Wesley, and Martin Luthar. I read several things by Ray Comfort. But I guess the thing that truly made me loose all faith in self was the book of Ecclesiastes.
Here was a man that had everything that life had to offer. Riches, Women, Honour, Glory. But none of it made him happy. He even said he knew "madness".
This book stripped me of any hope that I ever had in myself. Not long after, I made Jesus the Lord of my life. I have not been the same since. My life has been changed forever.
When I finally got down on my face before the Lord, I'm in tears at this part. I gave him everything, my whole heart and life. I confessed and layed down evry sin I could think of. I think I prayed for over an hour, crying out to God.
He woke me up that night and held me like a baby, and I wept till early in the morning. He said to me, Jason, I love you, your my boy(not audibly but to my heart). He kissed on me, and loved me, and comforted me like I had never been comforted before(I felt his loving arms around me, but could'nt see him). I'll never forget it. He's such a good God. I love him with all my heart. Were so unworthy of his love. Our minds are too slow and weak to comprehend his love. I can't wait to see the love of my life. I want to touch his nail pierced hands. I want to touch his feet and his side. I want to touch the scars on his back and fall down on my face and bathe his feet in my tears. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
I hope this will bless someones heart
In Jesus Christ
| 2006/2/24 12:59|
| Re: Ecclesiastes|
I was blessed, thanks for sharing Brother. Karl ;-)
| 2006/2/24 13:09|
| Re: an awesome testimony|
Jason, This is beautiful!!! And it is especially touching to me that God used Ecclesiastes.
I'd like to share a comment on that. One day I prayed to God and asked him what happened to King Solomon, who had strayed so far from God. I wondered if he was ever restored to God. Then God revealed to me that Ecclesiastes was writen by King Solomon.
Solomon's life journey reveals that God is able to restore sinners to himself. Solomon wrote the book hoping that others could be spared of making the same mistakes that he did, and turn to God while they were yet young.
I wonder if in eternity, Solomon might get to meet you - and see some positive outcome of his life experiences.
May God touch many hearts through your testimony as they see Christ in you.
| 2006/2/24 17:23||Profile|
Thanks Diane and Karl. You never know who might be surfing around on the net. I want people to know that you can REALLY know him. It's not about religion, or tradition, or some ritual. It's about knowing him, deeply, personally. He wants to know you, but you have to want to know him before he'll go any further. He said if you "SEEK me with ALL your heart then you WILL FIND ME. Many people quit before they find him, because they did'nt really want him that bad. :-D
| 2006/2/24 22:21|
Very good J-bird. I didn't want to lose your post with mine but wanted to tell you that your testimony didn't surprise me, because the fruit/heart is there. :-)
Thank you for sharing it. I'm glad you did.
His Love to you.
[b]I want people to know that you can REALLY know him. It's not about religion, or tradition, or some ritual. It's about knowing him, deeply, personally. He wants to know you, but you have to want to know him before he'll go any further. He said if you "SEEK me with ALL your heart then you WILL FIND ME."
Many people quit before they find him, because they didn't really want him that bad.[/b]
| 2006/2/25 3:09|