| Holding Hands|
What do you guys think about holding hands, is it physically to far because of the possible temptation for more or it is ok. Like myself there are a lot of people whos love language is physical touch , they can talk to someone for a while or have a hard time talking to someone because they really only feel connected like when their holding hands, do you have any advice, I want my realationship to glorify God totally and also be able to get closer with my guy.
| 2006/2/4 23:41||Profile|
North Carolina, USA
| Re: Holding Hands|
Personally, I don't think there is a real way for someone else to tell you if holding hands is too far for you. The best way for your relationship to grow safely in the Lord is to make sure you are careful about the situations you allow yourself to be in. Make rules and stick to them. It is a good idea not to be alone together unless you are out in the open or in public. (This applies to the car, as well.) It is very important to make sure you pray together, share where God is leading you together, and attend worship together. If you want to stay strong in keeping your relationship and also make sure it is glorifying to Christ, you must share your Christian walk and be committed to encouraging each other's growth as Christians. This is the best way to know if God wants a couple to be married, too. I have assumed that you are both Christians, so just in case I should caution you that being in a relationship with a non-Christian is one of the worst things you can do to your personal walk with the Lord. (I've been there, trust me!) As far as hand holding goes, if you both feel O.K. with it, try it with caution. Agree that if either one of you feels it is causing you to lust, you will be open about it and take a step back.
I am so very proud of you for caring so much what the Lord wants in your relationship! If you want to chat further about this, p.m. me!
| 2006/2/8 13:32||Profile|
Here is an old thread that I think mentions things of this sort.
| 2006/2/8 13:52||Profile|
Draw a line in the sand... and then stay at least 3 miles away from it. :-) The main thing is not to see how far you can go, but how pure you can be. You have to decide for yourself what is too far, and too far will be much closer for your boyfriend than it is for you. Just 'cuz you may be feeling revved up doesnt mean he isnt. Trust me, I'm a guy.
| 2006/2/8 15:32|
| Re: Holding Hands|
Anything physical is going to go too far when it comes to the male species. Touching can lead to a lot of other physical temptations. You could restrict your holding hands to be in public. If you are in closed room, open the door. Try not to be alone with your guy, guys have in themselves the ability to lure their prey with spell binding words and touch. If your a virgin than you need to stay that way until your both committed to each other for the rest of your life, and you take precautionary measures. Do all your handheld stuff in the company of others and stick with it, otherwise your next forum thread will be, "I am pregnant".
Oh by the way, I too am a guy. :-P
| 2006/2/8 18:57|
Quote: This is a general truth as well as an individual one. Men and women respond differently to many things and the whole area is fraught with danger. A man's responses often arrive immediately and can dissipate quickly. A woman's, generally, are more immediate and longer lasting.
You have to decide for yourself what is too far, and too far will be much closer for your boyfriend than it is for you. Just 'cuz you may be feeling revved up doesnt mean he isnt. Trust me, I'm a guy.
| 2006/2/9 14:16||Profile|
I think it would be appropriate to first inquire of the 'age' of a poster before we go too far with our posts.
I wouldn't talk the same to 14 year old as I would to 17 year old or 18-21 year old.
There is a sensitivity to age I think we need to consider when these subjects come up.
I found some posts on here, a bit over the edge for any age.
But I did appreciate, the "in public" part.
| 2006/2/9 16:51|
North Carolina, USA
Followinghim, would you mind my asking how old you are? Another thought... I reccomend you include your parents and pastor in your dating relationship as much as possible. It may seem old fashioned, but coming from someone who didn't, it really is the best way! :-D Continue to remember your first love, Jesus.
| 2006/2/10 10:03||Profile|
| Re: Holding Hands|
You have gotten a lot of good advice on here and I am not sure I can add to it, but will try. I have been thinking about this for a few days, wondering how best to answer your question.
Obviously, you have a boyfriend and think a lot of him and perhaps hope to marry some day? And I suppose like all starry eyed females, hope to be married till death do you part. Now what can you do to assure you this is what can/will happen?
It may help to understand the female response to touch. We females love to be touched by people we love. We love to cuddle kittens, puppies, babies, our dolls, etc. The desire to cuddle is part of what we are, how we are made. God made us so and called it good. When we become moms we love to cuddle our babies, kiss their hurts away when injured. When we see anyone/anything injured our hearts go out to that creature. We are emotional: God made us so and called it good.
When it comes to the female/male relationship, the issue becomes a tad bit more complex. When you were young you loved to have your dad carry you, you loved to have him hold your hand when you walked together because when you have your hands in his you felt protected and loved and secure. When you get older, and become a woman, you still feel that sense of protection and love when you hold your beloveds' (a male) hands. And not only that you also experience a thrill rip through your body when you do so for the first time. This is totally different what you felt when your father carried you or held your hands. So now you hold hands a lot because of the thrill it gives you, but soon the thrill is no longer as intense as it was at first and so you will now want to progress to the next thrill. From there on it becomes a part of the love-making process that ends in the sexual act. These thrills are necessary to ensure the repopulation of the planet and God called it good EXCEPT He designed it to only occur with in the context of a marriage relationship.
Now let us focus on your relationship with your boyfriend. I am sure you want to make an excellent choice here, one in tune wih God's will. In the meantime, you are learning to know him through your social interactions. There is one thing you do NOT want to happen and that is to become so emotionally involved with him you can not think with your brains....God did give female brains, too, you know. :-D So you will need to use 'em!!! When you become so physical with your guy, you are allowing the physical to blind your capacity to objectively evaluate him. You will need to determine how he thinks, that process, and the conclusions he arrives at. Now do you approve of that process? Could you live with it for the rest of your life? You cannot allow yourself to think that you will marry and that if it doesn not work out, you can divorce and get another. Won't work.
Another thing about the differences between males and females. Males are turned on by sight which means that when a female dresses provocatively, it can really turn a guy on. Now the same thing happens when a female is touched by a beloved male. The sparks fly...you want more and more and this can take you where only married people are to go. And let me promise you, that if you are healthy, these feelings will not leave you, even after you get a little old, like me. If you preserve what God has called good for only the context within He designed it to be exercised, you will be in for a wonderful treat.
If you keep you feelings in check, guard your body and impulses, when you get to the wedding night you will have some glorious experiences for which you will thank God for and know it was all worth it! And you will be so in awe at how wonderful God has made the human body and how it responds to the opposite sex! I promise! Been there!:-) So why would you ever want to take the risk and mess it up??!!!
In conclusion, while holding hands will not get you into trouble immediately, it can lead you where you do not want to go. It will also interfer with your ability to think rationally about the fellow who is courting you.
Hope this helps....
BTW, if your guy dumps you because you refused to get physical with him, consider that a blessing! And good riddance for bad rubbish!
| 2006/2/10 17:52||Profile|
Ginny Rose, Bravo, well done girl, well written and full of inspiring truth.
This is a question that I have had for along time swirling around in my noggin. Has anyone ever played gospel music while having, er...a....you know what?
MODs: please step in if this is getting to personal, thank you.
| 2006/2/10 19:37|