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Joined: 2005/7/5
Posts: 382
The Netherlands


There is something I would like to confess to you people.
I've brought this matter to the Lord and asked His forgiveness but its not more then fair to confess it to you all.

At times when I post replies and threads I feel there is a part of me that is proud, wanting to make great posts and wanting (much) responses on the things I write. The other part of me just wants to post or reply things to help other people, learn things and to exalt God.
Now this proud side of me may or may not not be very evident on this forum or in real-life, but I know my heart.

It's like a struggle.. with deep inside of you a part that loves exalting self, even tho that was not your main intention. :-(

You all don't know my heart or my motives for posting or replying, God does.. and so do I for a small (increasing) part. It's good to slow down at times and pray before posting things, especially for me.

I hate prideness of heart, as it was one of the things I was guilty for long ago before I repented. In my view it was even the very thing that God allowed me to get into trouble.
I will never forget the ignorant line I once said 'What could ever happen to me?' In the context of, 'I know songs, I am on a christian elemetary school.. I'm done'

Much later after my repentance God used me to bring someone to Christ, such a great honour and it was so cool!
But after that when I was talking about it to another it just felt like 'boasting' and I 'flipped'. (While it was just sharing the great things God has done)

This forum is populated with (street)preachers, elders, great man and women of God.
I'm just a young guy who only started to learn Christ since the summer of 2004.

If you do find me posting dumb things or weird replies, please say so.
I will bring it to the Lord and rethink about it then.
Don't worry tho, I will open my Bible and also check what you have to say if you bring Bibletexts. I won't shift my resposibilty for my walk with God on you. ;-)

Now I can continue posting and replying with a clear conscience since I've adressed it for God (a few days ago) and for you people! :-D

This is so hard for me to post, there is something that whispers.. 'you are just posting this as you want attention, a hunger for audience'. I know its not, its a confession from my heart to you people. I know I'm not here to exalt myself but God. Crucify pride!

[b]Isa 57:15[/b]
[i]For so says the high and lofty One who inhabits eternity; whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, even with the contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.[/i]

Let us walk in His blessed ways, being humble of heart, ever exalting and praising Him!
Let our hearts be places where God loves to dwell within!


Jonathan Veldhuis

 2005/10/25 9:31Profile

Joined: 2003/6/11
Posts: 9192
Santa Clara, CA

 Re: Confessions


In such a short time already grasping what took many of us years to work through ... just as it seems there is no completion to the searching that the Lord will do in each and everyone of us.

But you are well on the way brother. What a great encouragement, a willingness to learn, a teachable spirit. Brother from just this fools experience I can tell you that the solid truth of "The more I learn the more I realise there is much to learn" is not a mere cliche' nor is it a false humility. The Holy Spirit is very adept at checking our hearts;

Heb 4:12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and [b]is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.[/b]
Heb 4:13 [u]Neither[/u] is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.

2Ti 2:1 Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.
2Ti 2:2 And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also.
2Ti 2:3 Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.
2Ti 2:4 No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier.
2Ti 2:5 And if a man also strive for masteries, yet is he not crowned, except he strive lawfully.
2Ti 2:6 The husbandman that laboureth must be first partaker of the fruits.
2Ti 2:7 Consider what I say; and the Lord give thee understanding in all things.
2Ti 2:8 Remember that Jesus Christ of the seed of David was raised from the dead according to my gospel:
2Ti 2:9 Wherein I suffer trouble, as an evil doer, even unto bonds; but the word of God is not bound.
2Ti 2:10 Therefore I endure all things for the elect's sakes, that they may also obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.
2Ti 2:11 It is a faithful saying: For if we be dead with him, we shall also live with him:
2Ti 2:12 If we suffer, we shall also reign with him: if we deny him, he also will deny us:
2Ti 2:13 If we believe not, yet he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself.
2Ti 2:14 Of these things put them in remembrance, charging them before the Lord that they strive not about words to no profit, but to the subverting of the hearers.
2Ti 2:15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
2Ti 2:16 But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness.
2Ti 2:17 And their word will eat as doth a canker: of whom is Hymenaeus and Philetus;
2Ti 2:18 Who concerning the truth have erred, saying that the resurrection is past already; and overthrow the faith of some.
2Ti 2:19 Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, Let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity.
2Ti 2:20 But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour, and some to dishonour.
2Ti 2:21 If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work.
2Ti 2:22 Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
2Ti 2:23 But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes.
2Ti 2:24 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,
2Ti 2:25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;
2Ti 2:26 And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.

Mike Balog

 2005/10/25 11:07Profile

Joined: 2005/10/18
Posts: 490

 Re: Jonathan

Brother Jonathan,

Thanks for your transparency.

I will pray for you the same prayer I pray which is Lord make me a table waiter as Stephen was in Acts 6. The story of Stephen is such a wonderful word of what the Holy Spirit wants to do in our hearts. Lord God, make my brother Stephen a table waiter, a nobody, so that your name can be lifted up. Fill Him with the Spirit and with wisdom as you did these seven brothers in Acts.

1In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Grecian Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. 2So the Twelve gathered all the disciples together and said, "It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables. 3Brothers, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them 4and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word."

Ed Pugh

 2005/10/25 13:04Profile

Joined: 2005/7/5
Posts: 382
The Netherlands


Thank you for your replies and prayers crsschk and habakkuk3! :-D
The story about Stephan is indeed wonderful! Thank you both for the bibletexts!

Jonathan Veldhuis

 2005/10/26 6:47Profile

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