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Discussion Forum : News and Current Events : Christian men at risk of porn addiction

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 Christian men at risk of porn addiction

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When the Rev. Darrell Brazell, an evangelical minister, first heard that police had found thousands of pornographic images on former Christian-school leader Martin K. Miller’s home computer, he wasn’t surprised.
“They said they found something like 6,000 images,” Brazell said. “That sounds like a lot, but it’s not. You can download that much in a very short amount of time.”

Brazell knows. He admitted to being addicted to pornography for 15 years.

Cynthia Akagi, an assistant health education professor at Kansas University, agreed that as a group, Christian men are most vulnerable to becoming addicted to pornography. But that’s not to say non- or lesser-Christians are trouble-free.

Akagi said she’s surprised that for much of society, pornography addiction remains under the radar.

“As a health educator, I’d like to see more reaching out — saying, ‘Men — Christian or non-Christian — if you’re viewing porn every night after your wife goes to bed, you have a problem. Call us for help.’”

She added, “Many things break up marriages these days, and this is certainly one of them.”


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SI Moderator - Greg Gordon

 2005/7/22 17:40Profile
Yodi
Member



Joined: 2004/4/23
Posts: 663
Escondido, California

 Re: Christian men at risk of porn addiction

Quote:
She added, “Many things break up marriages these days, and this is certainly one of them.”



It is sad the many things that rob us from knowing God's perfect and good design for the things He has created. How easily our minds can be corrupted when it comes to our mindset on relationships, sex and marriage. The indoctrination and brainwashing that comes from featured magazine articles, appealing movies, popular fiction, hit tv shows, and alluring pornography. How important it is for us to daily wash ourselves with the water of the Word. And that's not just for Christian men, but for women as well.


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Yolanda Fields

 2005/7/22 17:53Profile
KingJimmy
Member



Joined: 2003/5/8
Posts: 4419
Charlotte, NC

 Re:

It is indeed amazing how many Christian men struggle with pornography and masturbation. I know as a Christian I struggled with it for years, and just could not seem to break it's hold on my life, even though so many times I put it away and swore it off. Ultimately it comes down to a decision to crucify your flesh, and once it's nailed to the cross, to leave it there. It will hurt more than anything else you've ever given up in your entire life, but you will be amazed at the power of God's grace to give you strength to overcome. When you give up such sexual addictions, you will truly be able to say that you have seen the resurrected Christ, as you will have seen Him alive in you. To me, there has been no greater proof that Jesus Christ is alive from the grave than being able to give up those lusts.

Don't be decieved though into thinking you will never be tempted again with these things once you have gone a long time without it. I promise you, that you will be faced with extremely strong temptations to go back into it... especially early on (usually the first couple of months of having gone without). And even after that, Satan will try to get you with a couple fiery darts by sometimes randomly flashing on the back of your eyelids old images and such... but by the grace of God, you do not have to dwell on those things. Instead, put on the helemet of salvation, and pickup the shield of faith, and be ready to fight the good fight.

You can walk in total victory!


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Jimmy H

 2005/7/22 18:08Profile
deltadom
Member



Joined: 2005/1/6
Posts: 1784
Hemel Hempstead

 Re:

I was delivered from a really bad addiction to pornography that was something that god delivered me from I used to be really bad but I found that is stretches to lower levels than I thought!!


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Dominic Shiells

 2005/7/22 18:15Profile
moreofHim
Member



Joined: 2003/10/15
Posts: 1632


 Re: pornography

The Lord has really been laying something strong on my heart about men and pornography (I know men are not to be totally singled out, women can struggle also, but I doubt very much if there would be any pornography if it was left up to women).

What the Lord has laid on my heart is the EFFECTS of men viewing pornography (and all that goes along with it: looking at other women, comparing their wives and girlfriends to other women, hiding things, etc...) the effect it has on women- and christian women, at that.

I would really like to write a lengthy piece on this because i feel that the way things are out of control when it comes to men's behavior in this area is creating a vicious cycle between women and men.

While christian men are "saying" that women should be focused on inward beauty- with their actions they are not saying that at all. Christian women see their christian husbands and boyfriends and even fathers "looking" where they should not, viewing what they should not, hiding what they should not, saying things they should not- all at the expense of hurting a woman. I don't think men realize how hurtful and destructive this can be on a women's spirit.

We wonder today why so many American women dress inappropriately (even christian women), much of it has to do with these things I am writing about. Many women/girls feel the need to be loved and thought of as worth something- worth cherishing, worth having attention, the attention of their mate. Many times they resort to attracting attention the wrong way in attemtps to keep from getting hurt, to feel loved and beautiful.

There is so much more i could go into. But I don't have the time right now. My husband and I are a perfect example of two people who were caught in this vicious cycle. Where his strongholds then spurred and caused me to get caught in some of my own strongholds.

His was pornography, lust and all that went along with it (eventually an affair). Mine was my obsession with my looks and needing attention. Because of his strongholds I was afraid that I would be rejected and left- so I did everything I could to keep his attention and the attention of every other man as well. It was like a terrible circle that went around and around.

Now my husband is delivered from his strongholds, but mine are taking a while to totally get over. I still struggle a little with being afraid of rejection. I have to rely on God for my worth and my identity.

I hope this gives some insight to men. It is not just about you. It's also about how it effects others in your life as well.

I want to make it clear that because women srtuggle with these feelings, because i felt the need to be noticed, etc... does not make it RIGHT. As I have grown in the Lord these last few years the Lord has shown me that it is only Him that i should please. No matter what my husband does, I need to obey the Lord.

I really believe that if more christian men would set the standard and do what is right, then there would be more women who are willing to dress and act as christian women should. I am not taking the blame off of women, for they should obey the Lord anyway, but men are supposed to lead by Godly example, not by being hypocrites. (ouch, sorry) I know there are some good Godly men here, somewhere, but it is too few and far between. Lord, we need Godly men. If not, the Lord will just have to raise up the Godly women without 'em. :-P

In Him, Chanin

edit: I know I am not presenting this as carefully and thoughtfully as I would like to because i am in a hurry. i don't want to make it sound like women are not to blame at all but men are.

As a woman who has gone through the hurt of all this but realized that in the end, it is God I need to please, I would like to reinforce this to the next generation of young women. Even if the christian men do not take a stand with this, even if it all gets worse, I beseech the young women to do what is right in the sight of the Lord. Be bold for Him. Even if it means rejection or hurt or feeling unwanted or unloved by mere men- your heavenly Father loves you and wants you to be His pure bride.


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Chanin

 2005/7/22 18:44Profile
RobertW
Member



Joined: 2004/2/12
Posts: 4636
Independence, Missouri

 Re:

Some great points here. I recall in High School there was a gal whose dad bought her a subscription to a 'woman's' magazine at 16 years old. I never understood something like that.

I recall the problem existing then (early 80's) with both guys and girls. This has been roughly 20 years ago now but I recall girls talking about finding their parents 'movies' and watching them together and then acting what they saw out with guys. It would break my heart so horribly to hear of it. It would be a shame to say any more.

Chanin is right in her assertion that it builds unrealistic expectations in men towards their spouse and then causes the spouse to feel insecure. Maybe not exactly her words- but that was what I was hearing. I agree with this.

I also agree with her remarks about looking where someone should not look. Sometimes these things are almost automatic and accidental. Just the other day there was a gal I saw doing something similar to me (looking where she should not be looking) and I felt quite violated by it. I know it is more prevalent with women- but it gave me a taste of what they go through.

As far as pornography is concerned we must be very careful to understand that God sees in the chamber of our images. Nothing will dull your spiritual cutting edge any quicker than allowing our eyes to see things they should not see.

As far as preoccupation with our 'looks' and such I think we can strike a balance here if we allow God to lead us. I heard a young woman give a speech on how people should not work out to look good and should not get plastic surgery, etc. I'm going out on a limb here but I think that before God it is not a good testimony when we allow ourselves to get way out of sorts and do it as though it were the spiritual thing to do. Personally I take the approach that if I were my wife how would I want me to look? Would I want me to look like I don't care how I look- or would I want to at least look desirable to her? It's all part of the balance.

I'll end with a little story. I was once visiting family members who were of the strictest holiness persuasion. Hair in a bun and all that. A certain woman had two daughters who were what scripture would call "fair to look upon". The mother asked the oldest who was about 16 years old if she would like a piece of cake. No mom, she replied. The mother then retorted; "Don't worry honey, when you get married- you'll eat!" I think that says it all. And it is a great reason also why we have so much trouble in marriage. Men and women suddenly quit caring how they look. I heard a man say once, "You keep them the same way you got them." I think there is some wisdom here.

God Bless,

-Robert



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Robert Wurtz II

 2005/7/22 22:03Profile
deltadom
Member



Joined: 2005/1/6
Posts: 1784
Hemel Hempstead

 Re:

Like Chanin I was so addicted that I used to stay up the whole night the verse that really convicted me was romans 1!! and god I could not hide it from him nothing !! I think it is more to do with the culture we are in and yet it is ourselves as well!!
My main example is working in a place where pornogrpahy was all over the walls and I read my bible to keep my mind clean and kept looking on the floor because all the other walls were filled with pornography, it is quite commen for student houses to be filled with pornography!!
I think it was clay mcleans teaching on romance and how it affects are soceity and every movie or film we watch if one pornographic picture is bad then how do we define a movie, when I gave up pornography I started to see of that is bad then look at the other things that are bad and compare, the thing that made me most friterned I use to listen to radio 4 anybody who is british or english will know that is really conservative but when I was into pornography i used to stay up late and listen to foul radio program I suddenly realised a change or downgrading from one station to another!! I wish I could write a book on how i overcame pornography!!
The scary thing is there is a link between how much you obey god and how sexually clean you are and also how much you glorify god!! This may not be proven! but it says because they did not glorify god nor were thankful they turned the glory of the image of the creator into images made with hands !! The key word is image!! We are made in the image of our creator!! If we look on anything less that him we become less than him!!
Please check out
[url= www.mcleanministries.org]Clay Mclean[/url] I tried everything to give it up!! It was only through god and alot of brokeness!! I used to get attacked walking down the road and I felt like there was a darkness hanging over me!! I would not wish what i experienced not on anyone!! I want to obey god even thou there is part of me that doesnt
so that i can be sexually and morally clean and pure in all ways!! even thou I fail
Dom

i can tell you loads of fantastic stories how god has healed me and other people!! In my last house it was the first time that I have ever seen women addicted to pornography!! That was scary!! I dont like guys nor girls going near the stuff!! Including me!!


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Dominic Shiells

 2005/7/22 22:04Profile





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