As I was reading Sandra's post it reminded me of the deceptions that are packaged exactly in such a way so that we would believe a lie and hold on to it.
Over my years walking with Jesus I have met young evangelists like myself craving a big platform, frustrated that God was not doing more through them. He was disappointed in the onesy twosy salvations that occurred in his little meetings. He would go to big events, hoping to meet the big-name evangelist and somehow glean a greater anointing to win the lost.
Yet, for all that, his life was pure, his prayers were righteous, his intent was after the heart of God. His tears flavored every intercession and his knees dirty from hours spent with God...unseen and unknown. Just a young no-nothing, nobody, no platform, no name, no big ministry, guy who took Jesus words seriously.
But that young evangelist was deceived...he was deceived into thinking the man he perceived was far greater than himself, far more effective, far more knowledgeable, far more loved and desired than himself was in fact none of those things.
But as time went by the young evangelist grew up a little and came to know the big platform evangelist first hand.
Over time, after the shock wore off, reality set in, the undeniable had to be let in and accepted.
The no-name evangelist found out he could honestly say God added one or two more to his kingdom. The Big-name evangelist could not say honestly he knew for sure anyone was added.
The nobody evangelist found out he could not pray like the Big-name evangelist because it was hateful to his spirit to add any pretense or showmanship in his prayers. The Big-name evangelist grew accustom to show prayers, dramatic prayers, power prayers in order to move the crowd. The know-nothing evangelist knew he must move God, the knowledgeable evangelist knew he must move people.
The difference in character and the difference in motivations was so diverse the young evangelist had great difficulty believing that which was true about himself and that which was true about his celebrity minister.
It did not occur to the young evangelist his perception of himself was skewed...not because of pride in himself, but because of his pride in another man and his reputation.
It took years for the young evangelist to believe God was never going to answer his prayers to become like the big-name evangelist...because once he found out what that man was really like he could never want to be like him.
God's no to the platform, no to the influential name, no to the notoriety and no to mass salvations was a very very painful thing to accept. He had been trained from the earliest years of his conversion that platform ministry was the only 'true' ministry. Streets, living rooms, closets were places only 'lay' ministers ( who it is said cannot be truly considered ministers) do their evangelizing and teaching. Having a regular job was tantamount to a denial of the faith, seeing you had no faith or drive for others to support you financially.
He was taught to be low...which he found out means to be lower than others and not a servant to all, but a servant few. Big name means to be a big servant to many, a big platform with other celebrity ministers means you are no longer low, but considered low, no longer humbled but considered humble, no longer a wanna-be but the real article. The addition of a platform means you have gone from being a pretender to being the genuine article.
How crazy and upside down is this presentation to a young convert only to find out later the aforementioned paradox is a lie.
As Rod Serling would say this is a small lesson from the twilight zone.
I offer it as some lessons learned which I received taking a detour through the Christian twilight zone.