| Words from god that have not been words from god |
This is a heartfelt thing
I think I have had so many prophecies in my life or that people have said that have not been from god
I think when I was baptised someone told me I was going to be a pastor
I have preached in a church twice and probably have studied more
And I have constant dreams from god about being a missionary in Israel
It is ironic I have been praying that I will be able to go to a sermonindex conference in the UK again as I have not been to a bible based conference in years and because of work it has been so hard
I thought it was so fitting having the previous two in the UK where revivals previously broke out , in Wales and in Scotland
The one in Scotland and it was so fitting spending time with those that experienced the Scottish revival first hand actually praying in the prayer room
I do not think I had a better prayer time ever
When I got baptised I thought I heard god's voice say I would be a missionary is Israel
As just before I got baptised I got miraclous healed in my bedroom with Jesus turning up , I thought I was going to be bedridden for the rest of my life
When you have had so many people prophecy things or words from god over you that has not come to pass
You get so sceptical with age and I want god so much to invade my heart and to strengthen my faith
I have been through three church splits then went to bridge lane in London and then left there recently and have not felt at home
I have never found a job that actually uses what I trained in as a chef and in computer science
I have had so many dreams smashed and broken
I have so wanted to preach in church but no-one has ever given me the option as I used to work in the Christian bookshop and can read 4 books in a day but nothing compared to someone like c s Lewis who literally memorised all the books in his bookshelf and was able to quote from the pages if you turned to a page
I have wanted and felt called as a missionary to Israel but to me it just seems impossible for God to do it as my dream place to get married would be looking over the mount of olives but I think that would be impossible
What touched me was most by the revivials that are true is compared to those that are false is the love of the bible
With work and age , at university all night prayer meetings but with me with my job it has been almost impossible considering the fact that I am working for less money and barely survive week by week just on prayer financially
I have been working in a hospital and it really hits home about people going to hell as seeing people whether young or old coming out dead
I have been focused on just two things biblical one is eschatology wise about the building of the third temple and the antichrist as it is relevant
I find that we can get distracted as Christians by so many different subjects
I wish so much that I could give up TV but with YouTube it has become so prevalent and there are so many good Christian videos on there
The thing that breaks my heart is I have known so many Christians been told words from god and found out that they are not true and have left the faith becuase of it as I went to a christian school and I don't know what percentage of those I know are still in the faith and also at university the christian union.
I also find it is that God would not contradict himself from the bible with another message
I scream inside for churches where they can actually go through a book of the bible as it makes it so much hard work for the preacher if they have to literally come up with a new message each week
As I find messages or sermons so shallow as sermons I find need to be bathed in both prayer and bible study
I want to leave my job but I do not know where to go as they won't let me have Christmas of and I want to resign
I know this is very personal
| 2019/11/10 6:01||Profile|
| Re: Words from god that have not been words from god |
I have to say their is nothing so disheartening than a word that turns out to be rubbish.Thats why I think we shouldnt give a word unless we are sure.I dont want to be used as guinea pig and I dont want anyone else to be my guinea pig either.
I find all the Churches I have had any interaction with to be alot of talk and no Pentecost,no healings,no miracles and no true prophesies,love yes,freindship yes,commitment,effort yes yes but anything to do with the Holy Spirit seems not to be there for some reason or in very small measure.
If I've heard a one sermon with the intro,the theme and the 5 steps to do with the theme I've heard a thousand.
I find Church meetings so dry its like a hot desert within a desert but I keep hoping that it God will visit in a great way because I know he can.
Then what seems to happen as an antidote to dryness is we get the hype merchants especially in Pentecostal circles who are alot of hype and no Power which makes the situation worse.
My belief in God as Lord and Saviour has nothing to do with Church thank God and I wish all of these "Pastors and Leaders" who feel called to bible College would stay at home unless they know 100% they should.I dont want to be ur Guinea Pig.
On Eschatology; its not preached on Sunday Mornings almost ever except when we say "Alleliu" which comes from the Book of Revelation as it might offend someone .The Church needs to know more than ever that Jesus is coming to get us out of here,that he is our hope and he's coming again amen.
After 30 yrs a Christian I can honestly say its been a total disappointment but I can still say Jesus is Lord and Saviour as well in my dispair as my faith in Christ has nothing to do with whether the Church funtions or not.
The Church at the moment are like the "friends of Job" well intentioned,full of concern and effort,interested in my well being but lack understanding and power to help the sick,
Job came through it and lets pray and encourage ourselves that we will too,
I pray for something Good regarding your work situation as I understand how difficult these situations are.
| 2019/11/10 15:56||Profile|
Greater NYC area
| Re: |
Well, Dominic, God cannot lie. Whatever He has spoken will come to pass in His time if we continue without wavering. I'm sure you've read about Abraham in Hebrews 11 many times.
Training as a chef? Great. Computer science? That seems to be a never-ending field of continual study, as technological advances are made so rapidly.
Divine healing? Marvellous!
Israel? I have known a number of fellow believers who have visited Israel & wanted to go there full-time, but never did.
Unless things have changed in very recent years one cannot go to Israel as a Christian missionary. There has to be some other job description on the visa, or entry will be denied. On a practical level, why not get in touch with some missionaries who are already there? Perhaps you can learn from them about which missions organisations or church(es) support them, or what job openings may be open. Many missionaries teach ESL classes in different countries, for example.
Being transparent in your message is a good thing, and may be a good first step (or next step) in all this.
| 2019/11/10 17:35||Profile|
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| 2019/11/11 4:58||Profile|
| Re: |
Dominic: I can see from what you said that it is a very sincere, heartfelt thing. I know what it is like to have things that I have seen as dreams or aspirations in the kingdom of God, and then fail to see those things come to pass. I also know that there are times that a person thinks they are giving you a prophetic word from the Lord, and it turns out not to be. For some reason, as I read what you wrote, I just felt like I should encourage you in these things, and perhaps from some personal experience myself.
I have known that God has called me to be a teacher in the body for many years now. I did not know it by prophecy from another man, but rather because God placed it in my spiritual DNA so to speak and as I grew closer and closer to Him, my true identity became clear. But there was a problem. No one really wanted to hear me teach. I watched as men around me seemed to have the opportunity to step into calling thrust upon them, and I really felt a sense of disappointment. I know now that some of that disappointment was my having my identity wrapped up in a calling from God rather than in a relationship with God. I felt unimportant, and I see that now as a warning sign that all was not well with my perspective.
So, I did what I could do for God. I worked for close to 30 years to maintain and repair the buildings and grounds of a church camp I was associated with. Not a paid position, but one that cost me much time and money out of my own pocket. I still remember a camp meeting held at these camp grounds. I had put in 40 to 50 hour weeks that summer, working alone on the grounds. A group of three other men came in for a few days, reaped the fruit of my labor, and received the accolades. They were praised publicly, while I was unmentioned and unknown. I remember saying to the Lord, "God, thank you that I was able to do this work, and my payment is in the lives of people being changed. I don't need recognition." But deep in my heart, there was a sting at not being recognized, and at not being able to take part in the way that I knew I was called. I was let down in my own emotions.
Now, close to 20 years after the event, I am drawing closer to God than ever before. I am understanding intimacy with Him and experiencing personal growth in Him more than I ever have in my life. To be honest, I am totally fine if His total will for me is simply to seek to know Him. I don't need a calling or a destiny to feed my identity anymore. As a result, I am free from disappointment and from deferred expectation.
I am also now seeing myself walking into the destiny and calling that I have known for 25 years was God's will for my life. I have had more opportunities to teach in the body in the last year than in the 25 years that came before. I have been able to speak truth into the lives of believers in a way that has borne fruit in their lives. It has been so awesome, but not like it would have been before. I am excited, not because I am fulfilling a destiny, but because I am watching Him do great things in the lives of other people.
I have learned some lessons along the way.
Prophecy is important. God speaks to us primarily through the written word, and that word is the more sure word. It is a plumb-line against which we can measure all other words. God speaks to us directly in our own spirit. God also speaks to us by prophecy. Paul even admonished Timothy to take the prophetic word spoken over him and use it to war a good warfare. In other words, "Timothy, you know that was said prophetically about you. Now keep that in mind and let it serve as motivation for you to run radically after God no matter what battle you fight in the process."
People can miss it, but God never does. A pastor friend of mine was thrust into church leadership much too early in his Christian walk, and was also involved in three very ugly church splits within the first seven years of his Christian life. I ask him how it was that he did not grow bitter or get hurt. He said something very simple, "I recognized that there is a huge difference between God and people, and fixed my eyes on God instead of people." Always take a prophetic word and set it before the Lord, allowing Him to confirm it in His timing, or allowing Him to speak to you that the person giving it was all wet. It is my opinion that a prophetic word never should come as a surprise to us. It will always confirm what God has already been putting on our heart.
The word may come today, but the fulfillment may come years later.
The fulfillment of a word of prophecy is not automatic. Personal prophecy speaks to our destiny and calling. It does not tell our fortune. Just like a man could be called by God to be a pastor and run from that calling and never fulfill God's will, a person can have a prophetic word spoken that does not come to pass. I honestly think that I am just now at the place in my spiritual life that I am even capable of bearing the weight of what God called me to do.
The best way to see a prophetic word come to pass is to make drawing close to the Lord the primary objective. Preparation for the work is more important than the work itself.
God had so much work to do IN me before He could use me to do what He had called me to do. I could not necessarily see that up front, but looking back, it is all so clear.
You also mentioned the struggle to differentiate between the voice of flesh, the enemy, the carnal mind, and perhaps even God in some circumstances. I would encourage you to make seeking God for personal transformation the number one priority. I am so blessed to hear that your time with God in prayer during the SI conference was the most amazing time you could remember in a long time. But I really believe that God wants those times with us on a daily basis as we spend time in His presence. The most pivotal revelation from the throne that did the most to change my life forever came when I was all alone with the Lord.
Bless you brother. Thank you for your transparency. I hope something I said here was an encouragement.
| 2019/11/12 15:50||Profile|
| Re: |
I appreciate your sharing your testimony w/ us Travis,...
God bless you,
| 2019/11/12 18:49||Profile|
| Re: Words from god that have not been words from god |
Do you have a computer that you can use to work from?
If you are trained in computers (you do not say what kind of training) there are many jobs working from home for people with computer experience (IT, software, etc). If your knowledge is still pretty current, maybe this is an option for you.
One website that has positions listed is weworkremotely.com
Also, you can specifically look for remote work at indeed.com or glassdoor.com
On another note, I have a lot of education (a masters in science and a doctorate in law) and can only find work that barely supports me and my family. I have taken that to be God's purpose for me—to prune me, to teach me to be dependent on Him, to teach my children to live simply,... Many reasons. God has His reasons. Unfortunately, I do gripe about this, even though I KNOW that His will is perfect for us.
Praying for you brother.
| 2019/11/12 21:29||Profile|