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Joined: 2019/5/9
Posts: 8

 What to do when you are beyond repentance?

So I made a post some time ago looking for wisdom about whether my sin had killed me spiritually.

If you care to read the post, here it is:

I have come to determine with a great level of certainty that my heart has hardened past the point of repentance due to continued sin. I feel no brokenness or conviction over my sin nor do I have the desires of the Lord anymore. I find no ability to turn away from sin from a heart level like I once did. All that I am left with is severe fear of my future condemnation. As I read Hebrews, I see that my life now matches up perfectly with Hebrews 6:4, as well as Hebrews 10:26. I have spent time consulting with my pastor and other believing friends. They seem to believe that I am still a believer, but I sincerely disagree. I think they are coming around though.

As I have come to the conclusion that I am beyond repentance, my question is what is the best thing for me to do next. I cannot spend my life walking in apostasy creating greater condemnation for myself upon my death. Life is too much to live apart from Christ. There is no meaning to life other than Christ and there is no joy apart from him. I cannot continue with life apart from Christ. However, I see no other way to handle the situation other than suicide. Does anyone have any better suggestions or wisdom to give?

I know some of you may land in a more reformed camp like I once did, but there is no denial that someone can become like those mentioned in Hebrews. I have become one. What then do I do now?


 2019/5/9 20:03Profile

Joined: 2003/7/31
Posts: 2758
Phoenix, Arizona USA

 Re: What to do when you are beyond repentance?

My suggestion is to stop listening to the devil lies.

The great lie of the enemy will be that if you aren't fully conformed to Christ's image you should just stay away. The Bible is exactly the opposite, we are to come into His presence with brokenness and thanksgiving. If you choose to trust God even though you are going through great temptations, God will save.

Don't let Satan lie to you that you must first get it right before you come to God. Don't elevate your faults over the cross. Don't make a bunch of promises that you'll do better but trust in His promises, appropriate them.

Temptations will always be there but victory is in Him. Don't let the enemy make you think that you should be over this temptation.

In Christ,

Ron Halverson

 2019/5/9 20:21Profile

Joined: 2009/4/5
Posts: 2007
Joplin, Missouri

 Re: What to do when you are beyond repentance?

I agree with Ron. There is a strong deception here that is attempting to destroy you, and it is from the enemy. You said a few things here that you believe that I would like you to consider. First, that you would receive stronger condemnation upon death because of spending a life walking in apostasy. If this is what you are feeling in your heart, it is obviously from the enemy. There are not levels of punishment that differ for different sins. To be condemned is to be condemned. Secondly, you are convicted of sin by your own admission. No man who is reprobate could possibly have that conviction.

At worst you have hardened your heart through allowing sin to reign in your mortal body. But what I hear, simply through your words, is a strong deception of the enemy that has convinced you that all is lost and that has tempted you with the idea that your own life is now worthless. This is simply not true. You know you have sinned. Now know that the price was paid for that sin. If Jesus instructed Peter to forgive over and over, how much greater the grace and forgiveness of the Father. Does He expect from us what He is unwilling to give to us?

You can allow a temptation to overtake you to the point that you are hardened in your heart. It sounds a little bit like perhaps you have been unsure of your own relationship with the Lord for a long time and that you have tried to approach God based upon your own ability to live a good and clean Christian life. I am only giving you the sense of what I am seeing through your words. It sounds to me like you have been bound by temptations that you have struggled for years to overcome, and have been unsuccessful in your own attempt.

But God can and will so transform your life that you will be free from sin and walk in victory. Don't turn away and follow the lie that you are hearing from Satan. Turn toward God and run to Him.


 2019/5/9 21:41Profile

Joined: 2010/1/3
Posts: 3
Halifax, Nova Scotia

 Re: What to do when you are beyond repentance?

The sin that I committed after I was a Christian bothers me more than the sin committed beforehand, but I have to continually put my emotions aside and stand on His promises. 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Don’t wait for the “feelings” of condemnation to change before you trust in His promise. Think of Peter, sinning by denying His Lord three times, but Jesus’ prayer for him was that after he fell, his faith wouldn’t fail him (Luke 22:32). You too, even after you fell, trust that His blood is so rich that he will forgive and cleanse you. Bring your sin into the light and trust in His great sacrifice for you! Don’t give up.


 2019/5/9 21:49Profile

Joined: 2006/9/16
Posts: 2156


I agree that someone beyond repentance would not be feeling the remorse and pangs of conscience you are. Also you may in a way trying to become reconciled to yourself. You may be thinking if I can get rid of these feelings then I could get to Christ again. It won't work good bro. Cast yourself on HIM and other things will begin to work out. He is faithful and is closer to you right now than your very own breath.

David Winter

 2019/5/9 22:04Profile

Joined: 2019/3/16
Posts: 20

 Re: What to do when you are beyond repentance?

Hello sir,can I share with you briefly my testimony. My name is Elias and I have been a believer since I was 19. I lived a very wicked life and took great pleasure in sin and wickedness. I was in love with the idea that I could be filled with demons, and serve satan and mislead others into the pit with me. I dunno how I got so low down but I'm just being honest. I was working in Alberta on the oil rigs. I made a deal with the devil and sold him my soul, I wouldn't get into all the details, but I shook hands with a demon and made a deal, and sold my soul for a certain thing, and the demons paid a certain amount for my soul. With the help of the Lord I would like to relate to you that there is hope in Christ. We have yet to be set free indeed by the Lord if we are still dabbling with known sin in our lives. I went to visit my born again parents at the age of 19, and my mom started crying when she saw me and told me I'm a devil worshipper, I knew it was true and couldn't care less. I had supper with the family and the devil made his evil presence known as we were eating and talking, I saw the look of terror on my mothers face, not for the devil, but that I was in such a state, my brother started weeping. After supper, my mother went to the garage and came to me as we were getting ready to leave and handed me a bible, I felt this is a matter of life and death and I must take the bible, I knew if I don't I will be killed. I took the bible and in a very profound way I met Christ at the cross maybe next night in a house where we did everything we shouldn't. I knelt at the cross of my King and he forgave me my sins, and I saw him there and I knelt there and he talked to me in my heart, and called me his dear dear friend. And the King was hanging on that cross, and the demons surrounded us, screaming, I could sense their presence, and their screams and rage, and praise the Lord their helplessness. They screamed the price they had paid for my soul, but the hand of the Almighty swept through that room, and I felt everything was forgiven, and I also felt him say, "lets see what he will do" I knew right there I had to make choices... I made all the wrong and bad choices. My mind was so unclear and messed up with sin, I couldn't make the right choices, I felt God calling me back to my parents, I didn't realize it was him, the cars engine blew on my way to alberta from manitoba, the car was in great shape with about 90,000 miles on it. I called a friend from alberta who came and got me, I had barely gotten out of manitoba, he had to come a long way. To shorten the story, I lived a sinful life for years, and tried to get away with many sins, I was running from God with all my heart, and at one point I felt him say to me, "expect no mercy". I didn't care, that's exactly what I wanted to hear. I lived this sinful wreckless life for a few years, I drank alot, alot, and did drugs, but was more of a heavy drinker, had a big problem with fear, rejoiced in iniquity, and sinned as much as I could with woman, porn, stealing, fighting, heavy drinking, whatever I could do to try to get rid of the restlessness and pain in me. I was dabbling in dealing drugs because I enjoyed it. I started coming to my senses after I watched a movie one night, and I saw that was my future if I dont change, I cried out to the lord that night with tears, and my life started changing from there, it took a few years, as I started coming out of my pit, the lord started revealing himself, but I still didnt want to commit, I thought I was being a quitter if I commit my life to Jesus. I remember one morning as I was getting ready for work, and waiting for my coffee, suddenly, I was transformed inside from darkness to light, I had done nothing to get it, it just happened. I was working for a small drilling company, I was the driller, and I can tell you it was like being in hell. I felt I was in hell, everywhere I turned there was another enemy, it looked like the earth itself had become hell, the people I worked with were like the devils servants and continually tried to trip me up and make me fall, I was in constant prayer in my spirit, constantly crying out to God, I knew of nobody that was a christian in that city, it was very difficult indeed, I was far from home, and any christians that I knew of. I felt the Lord after some time tugging me to go home and visit my parents, but I didnt do it at this time. He still had to do a work in me. I have to tell you if it wasn't for the mercy of the Lord, I wouldn't be writing this, I should have been killed at least a few times, I was involved with gangs, and there was a few times when God just had mercy on me. To shorten the story, I went home one summer for a visit, maybe 2 week visit, and that's where I fully realized it's enough. I moved back home, and went to a revival meeting, and started attending church. I've been looking to Christ and overcoming and getting close to God and the Lord Jesus, along the way Iv'e had pitfalls and intense spiritual battles, and disobediences, and afflictions and lies of the enemy, and at times terrifying attacks, but I've always remembered one thing, no matter how bad it got, no matter what has happened, no matter how much the enemy attacked or how forsaken I felt, or that I had truly lost my salvation and was beyond hope, I remembered that God truly loved me. And now I spend time with my Lord and God, And his Son Jesus Christ, and am seated with Christ in the heavenly places. There is hope, so much hope if we will look to him and not trust in feelings but in him Himself.


 2019/5/9 22:31Profile

Joined: 2011/10/21
Posts: 1425
Dothan, Alabama

 Re: What to do when you are beyond repentance?

This is not intended to discourage you ...
However, being totally honest- it doesn’t seem that you were ever “saved” to begin with, in that since it’s good news as it’s impossible to “lose” something you never had-
This is not to say you hadn’t had an encounter with God, and perhaps even considered following Him but from your words (testimony) it doesn’t appear that you actually did.... it seems that you really “want to want to” but much like the rich young ruler, weren’t prepared to give up the entitlements of the self -
This is evident also in how your frame of reference for everything is yourself. In those whom are being saved this is reversed and God becomes the point of reference for everything... we literally make Him the God of our lives by ascribing Him dominion over ourselves. When this happens it is evidenced by a pronounced decrease in the usage of “I”,... which if you’ll notice you employ quite frequently in both your post here on SI and the link you shared.
Again to be honest, it seems you feel entitled to self gratification and don’t really want to give it up but want it somehow to be ok .... you read where it says this is wrong and you know you should stop but you can’t because you like it,... you tell yourself you wish you didn’t like it and weren’t in bondage to it,... but really you just wish it wasn’t a sin and you could indulge yourself guilt free,no?
Ok, so firstly your problem is the same as everyone else’s.... you need not only saving from yourself/flesh/sin but you also need to be delivered from the identity with your body/sin/self,... otherwise the process by which Jesus purifies His people will not be complete in you and you will not be made “perfect” (which we totally should be) becoming fully mature or ripened or as Paul says it “till Christ be fully formed in you” ...

So why are you having such a hard time?
Because you are attempting to defeat sin in your flesh with your flesh,
this will never work but is quite useful to bring us to the end of ourselves...
basically you’re trying to be “god” by saving yourself based on the knowledge of the law by the power of your own discipline/flesh - or to put it in another way, you are fighting a lie with another lie and it’s just feeding it and like a yeast taking over. The only way to expose/defeat a lie is with the truth and the truth is that in your flesh is no good thing, your flesh will always desire to sin because it has been corrupted by sin, however you can be delivered from it and though you live in it, you can be free from the power that controls it... but you gotta want to be free. You gotta want to be free sooooo bad and not just for your sake or those round about you whom you influence, but for His namesake! So that our lives do not bring reproach on His name because of our hypocrisy! When that is our motive, God will open our eyes to see He had already set us free:)) that in order to identify with Christ the risen savior we must first identify with His death-the suffering servant- even death on a cross (ultimate public humiliation of self). That no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, you cannot save/fix/deliver/set free your self and you need Jesus to do what only He can do... that is when you will truly want to be free from “this body of death” and will be truly ready to embrace Jesus- and that is just the beginning of “being saved” -
We grossly underestimate the effect of sin and as such we undervalue the cost of salvation -
So just like the rich young ruler, he came to Jesus looking for salvation but went away sad, consider the cost because Jesus is Lord of all and if you won’t make Him Lord of “all” of you He can’t save “all” of you... His blood is a fount that cleanses and purifies everything it touches...but only what it touches - and if you hold back from Him an area of your life that is reserved for you to be the decider of, then His blood hasn’t touched it and it remains yet unclean. And if we know this and continue to say we belong to Him, then we are just like “Micah serving the tribe of Dan for ten shekels and a shirt”... we make Him a means to our ends-


 2019/5/10 7:23Profile

Joined: 2019/5/6
Posts: 1

 Re: What to do when you are beyond repentance?

Hebrews 10:26 is a warning to saved, eternally-secure people. The "much sorer punishment" than being executed is not hell.

Read Hebrews 6 like this:
It's impossible for US to renew to repentance these eternally-secure saved people, who fall away, by laying the foundation all over again. They can renew themselves to repentance but we can't renew them because we have no power over their will. And we're not going to hold up the "rest of the class" by trying.

 2019/5/10 9:36Profile

Joined: 2006/11/26
Posts: 3546

 Re: What to do when you are beyond repentance?

"I feel no brokenness or conviction over my sin nor do I have the desires of the Lord anymore."

"Life is too much to live apart from Christ."

I do not believe that these are the statements of someone that has never had a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, but a backslider that is deeply grieved because you have lost what you once had.

It is true that a backslider that has gone for a long period of time in a condition of sin could harden their heart, being out of fellowship with God, no peace, no joy, basically miserable.

Just as the prodigal son wandered for away from his father, and got into a condition where he was in want, but he made the decision to return to his father (repentance). There is no one that is beyond repentance or the mercy and grace of God.

Those that have committed what is know as the unpardonable sin do not have any desire to repent or return to God.

The fact that you have reached out to a pastor and other believers for restoration is a clear indication that you have not reached the point where there is no repentance or forgiveness for you.

The devil is the accuser of the brethren, and his goal is to bring you under a state of condemnation, where you believe that there is no hope, and that you have gone too far.

The blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin when we confess our sins to the Lord. It is not a matter of feeling forgiven, but of faith. If you would holdfast to the Word of God believing the promises of God then you will be restored to fellowship with God, His peace will return to you, as well as His joy.

There is no condemnation to those that are in Christ Jesus.

Put your faith in the mercy and grace of God. Pray that God would grant unto you the gift of repentance, which includes godly sorrow, and turning away from your sin.

You might need to find some mature brothers in the Lord that could help you and pray deliverance prayers over you.

The devil is a liar and a deceiver, and you overcome him and all of his accusations by the blood of the Lamb.

You need to know that God is for you. Seek the Lord with all of your heart and you will find Him. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

God promises that He will never leave you or forsake you, and He removes your sins and far as the east is from the west, and He will not even remember your sins any more.

Put your faith in the blood of Jesus and the righteousness that only God can give through your faith in Jesus Christ.


 2019/5/10 11:15Profile

Joined: 2017/7/14
Posts: 1162
Snoqualmie, WA


Hi Bethelter:

A few things:

Debating whether you are a believer or not, whether you were saved at some point or not, or whether you qualify as a heb 10:26 apostate is all betrayed in your post.

Apostates do not do.
Those that never knew Christ do not consider their lives and the necessity of some obedience to do.

You speak of your own sin, righteousness because you know Christ was crucified for you, judgment because you know God punishes the wicked.
All that you've stated is what the Spirit of God does to convict a sinner.

But my friend, we also know there have been plenty of sinners who could recite all that you've said and they are no more saved than those in hell at this moment.

So, whether you consider yourself an unbeliever...
Or you consider yourself apostate....
Or whether you consider repentance from sin as an impossible task

You only have one option left to you.
Accept Jesus love for you despite how you react to sin, or your feelings regarding repentance or even your own logic in how you are past feeling and are now reprobate.

God's grace does much more abound.
Like brother Elias so well said...he ran from God, and to prove he was a runner, a sinner and was not cut out for Christianity he attempted to make himself vile.

This is the wonderful thing we can proclaim, God pursues us when we run from him. I don't care what your doctrinal stance is, nor does it matter. What matters is God will pursue you and will obtain from you what he wants. God's love is not quenched because of your badness, nor is God's mercies shortened because we found out we are a thousand times more sinful than we ever imagined.

When we find out how really cruddy we are...and what a raw deal it must be for Jesus to save us there is nothing left for us to acknowledge other than Jesus love for us is not quenched.

You may return to the Lord Jesus anytime, you may believe anytime, you may cast off all your own judgments and conclusions because God makes up his own mind.

God has set his Spirit to work to save you. You can surrender.

God has more grace than you know.


 2019/5/10 13:52Profile

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