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Discussion Forum : Scriptures and Doctrine : Friends?

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PreachParsly
Member



Joined: 2005/1/14
Posts: 2164
Arkansas

 Friends?


Friends... The word may bring a smile to some or a tear to another. What does God think about friends? Are our friends God's friends or God's enemy? I believe many people have friends that are not really friends at all but really dragging them away from God. First of all let me say that there are friends and there are acquaintances. My definition of friends in this post would be someone you bare your soul with, not just those who you speak to every so often. I guess the word I would be looking for is one that you joined affinity (A natural attraction, liking, or feeling of kinship. According to dictionary.com). I'm talking about the one who you freely talk about anything with.

What should a Godly friendship have? Well, the obvious would be God. What does the typical (NOT OUT OF THE ORDINARY!) spirit-filled life consist of? The fruits of the Spirit. What does a typical non spirit-filled life consist of? The works of the flesh. It is my personal belief that a Christian relationship or friendship should have the fruits of the Spirit and not he works of the flesh.

Gal 5:16-26 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.

A good friendship will have love. A love of choice. Agape love differs from phileo love because phileo may or may not be by choice. Phileo love is a love of common. You would phileo someone because you have something in common. Agape is a love of choice. If you agape someone you choose to love them. God so loved (chose to love) the world He gave them a way to have a relationship with Him. He did not have to. He chose to. There should be joy and peace also. Not that you will always be jumping around smiling and have an awesome sense of peace just because they are around but there should not be that disturbance in your spirit when they are around. You should feel confident and secure. Gentleness and goodness should be self explanatory. Faith might not be though... I would say you should have a trust with them. Meekness and temperance are the last 2. There should be a respect between the 2 that you would meekly (A calm temper of mind, not easily provoked) approach each other. Temperance means self control.

A bad friendship will have the works of the flesh. Adultery and fornication. A friendship should not produce lust. This does not necessarily mean a lust between the two. The friend could provoke the other into lust. Let’s say you have a friend that likes to look at dirty magazines from time to time. You might not at first but the lust building inside the other will be placed in you the more you bare you soul to one another (remember I'm not talking about just an ordinary acquaintance but a close close friend). Uncleanness and lasciviousness. Lasciviousness is unbridled lust or animal desires. Does your friend bring out animal desires in you or godly attitudes? I could go one with each one but I'll let you do your own study on the works of the flesh and let you ask yourself if your friendship brings that out of you or if the works of the flesh are in you.
We need to be very picky about who we are friends with. Let me again stress that we all have acquaintances and co-workers. These are not the friends I am talking about. God is fascinated with you whole life. Fascinated in the sense that He looks intently on every aspect of you. Not fascinated in the sense that he doesn’t know how you work. A friend is an important thing. Make sure your friends are drawing you closer to God. Make sure your friendships are God-honoring.

Are you friends God's friends?


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Josh Parsley

 2005/7/7 16:24Profile
PreachParsly
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Joined: 2005/1/14
Posts: 2164
Arkansas

 Re: Friends?

What does everyone think?


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Josh Parsley

 2005/7/7 19:10Profile
Eli_Barnabas
Member



Joined: 2005/2/16
Posts: 621
Cache Valley, Utah

 Re:

I was talking about this subject with a friend of mine... I believe, as the Scriptures say, light and darkness have no fellowship and we are not to be bound with unbelievers. James goes on to say that if anyone is a friend of the world he is an adultery, and in Ezra the people are commanded not to even make a treaty with the nations around them.

As a Christian I have withdrawn from my unbelieving friends, not that I never see them anymore, but the relationships I once had with them are gone, because light and darkness have [b]no fellowship[/b]. I can honestly say that I have pretty much nothing in common with any unbeliever by which my spirit might be edified. Oh, my flesh can be edified, but my spirit cannot. That is why when I am with them there is no connection anymore, for I am [i]"dead to the flesh but alive in spirit."[/i] I think one of the reasons many Christians today don't understand this is because they are not fully surrendered.

If I will spend time with unbelievers, it will be to win their souls. If there is no fellowship between Christian and unbelievers... and you are not trying to win their souls... than the only other option is that they are dragging you down and eroding your faith (1 Corinthians 15:33). So choose carefully whom you are with and why you are with them.

Yeah, good post, PreachParsly, good for Christians to be mindful of these things.

In Christ,
-Eli


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Eli Brayley

 2005/7/8 13:57Profile
PreachParsly
Member



Joined: 2005/1/14
Posts: 2164
Arkansas

 Re:

I see so many Christians that seem to be doing well and then they become intimately friendly with a lost person or a luke-warm Christian and begin to completely lose their fire. We should gaurd our fellowship.

Here are a couple of great sermons about this:

[url=http://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/singlefile.php?lid=3830]Your friends matter to God By David Wilkerson[/url]

[url=http://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/viewcat.php?cid=345]Brethren beware by Jesse Morrell[/url]


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Josh Parsley

 2005/7/9 17:09Profile
rocklife
Member



Joined: 2004/4/1
Posts: 323
usa

 Re:

Like Eli here, I have had to also break off relationships. I feel like I am breaking up with a boyfriend when I do, but I have had to prayerfully tell dear unbelievers (purposely ignoring God after evangelism), "I cannot be friends with you anymore" paraphrased. I recently did it again with neighbors who were inviting themselves over to my house way too much, as they continually reject God and Jesus, and they want me to instead be like them, God led me to write a little note, in obedience with New Testament command don't fellowship with those who call themselves God's people but are greedy, idolaterous, etc (these neighbors are secular Jews).

Just wanted to share, for encouragement that this is a fact of the christian life, God's people are not going to be popular with worldly sinners, we (God's people) are priests and evangelists for Jesus Christ, not their entertainment and sinning buds.

Thanks for bringing to light an important topic!


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Jina

 2005/7/9 20:23Profile
deltadom
Member



Joined: 2005/1/6
Posts: 1791
Hemel Hempstead

 Re:

I am praying that those luke warm christians that I have been telling about this place finally wake up and realise this site exists !!
I agree with you are friends either encorage us or bring us down!!


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Dominic Shiells

 2005/7/9 20:41Profile
arbustum
Member



Joined: 2005/7/3
Posts: 96
Sydney Australia

 Re:

actually, not to long ago i was reading about influence in hebrews i think.. hang on i'll look it up...ok, maybe it was acts, no, it was hebrews, just not the place i thought it was: ok, chapter 10:24-26 which says in the amplified version,
And let us consider and give attentive, continuous care to watching over one another, studying how we may stir up (stimulate and incite) to love and helpful deeds and noble activities,
Not forsaking or neglecting to assemble together [as believers], as is the habit of some people, but admonishing (warning, urging and encouraging) one another, and all the more faithfully as you see the day approaching.
For if we go on deliberately and willingly sinning after once acquiring the knowledge of Truth, there is no longer any sacrifice left to atone for [our] sins [no further offering to which to look forward].

if you are a true friend no doubt you'll want to see others around you do well and you'll encourage them and make them feel loved, however you tend to do that.

and im speaking to myself here as well, if you are a true friend then you will be there doing to them as you would have them do to you, you would serve them as any true leader does, and you would accept their blessings and tell them so.who are your true friends that take the full brunt of you? think about that one. luv yas.


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holly

 2005/7/11 3:01Profile
PreachParsly
Member



Joined: 2005/1/14
Posts: 2164
Arkansas

 Re:

I posted this on my Xanga (a website) and one guy thought it was complete error on my part.

Him: You are still quite wrong, your best friend can be a non-Christian and it will be ok as long as your heart is fixed to the Lord. While fellowship is important, you must keep the great commision in mind.

You must pray over this thought over and over, and do not neglect your unsaved peers.

My response: I wasnt talking about evangelism. You should never omit the Great Commission. Witnessing to those that are lost are very important and something we should do constantly. What is your deffinition of a best friend? How can you bare you whole soul as a Christian with someone who is lost and going to Hell?

1Cr 2:14 But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know [them], because they are spiritually discerned.

The only way you could bare your complete soul to someone that is lost is if you are not spiritual at all. Remember I'm not talking about evengelism. I have people I witness to that sure you could call them friends but I can't completely pour out my soul to them because they wouldnt have a clue what I was talking about.
___________________________________________

I also found this verse which would make it clear that an unequally yoked friendship would never work

Pro 29:27An unjust man [is] an abomination to the just: and [he that is] upright in the way [is] abomination to the wicked.


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Josh Parsley

 2005/7/11 11:54Profile





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