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Discussion Forum : General Topics : Thinking about marriage?

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TakeUptheCross
Member



Joined: 2016/8/10
Posts: 228
Germany

 Re:

@Marvin 3

Quote:
If you know you were called to be married, it's no sense in giving yourself scenarios where you're a single all your life.



Uhm... how do I know, if I am called to be married or called to be single? I want to marry, but that is not the same as "I know, God wants me to marry."

 2018/3/14 16:59Profile
Gloryandgrace
Member



Joined: 2017/7/14
Posts: 964
Snoqualmie, WA

 Re:

Hi takeupthecross:

Thanks for the replies.

86 is a colloquialism it means to 'throw out'.

Your responses bless my heart and it's a pleasure to share with you.

At the risk of over-simplification, if you were not called to be married, you would not be interested in it, you would not find any necessity to pray about it, sexual intimacy with your mate is a non-issue. So, as I see it, those who are called to be Eunuchs are so because they are gifted that way. Marriage for such a person is a non-starter...in short you wouldn't have posted on a discussion board the need for pointers on marriage...you would have asked "Anyone have pointers on being a Eunuch"?

Tall dark and handsome...that's not what my wife got, she got dumb blonde and plain. But, here's the great thing, she loves me deeply and tells me so almost daily; after 39 years I'll take her word that she means it.
It's God that has done that for me, and given to her a real mixed package. You are a mixed bag, so will be your future hubby.

What is a joy to read is you are thinking about these things so that you can navigate your relationship with Godly principles and a heart ever listening. With that in mind it's easy to say "God will guide those who are seeking and available to be guided".

I said "God will guide" is useless because those who walk in faith have snap-shots so-to-speak of what it means to be lead of the Spirit, and for those who purport to say "God will guide" and then for some reason we cannot offer one single snap-shot of what it looks like...is ironic to me.
The very time when real counsel is being asked, all you get is crickets...to me, that's weird.
It's also useless in that when such advice as I gave you is poopooed or some offense is found, I consider the woman who is asking for that kind of advice is disingenuous. For me, it's just as important to me to see how you will respond to such pointers...because it tells me how serious/unserious you are about Christ.

You'd be surprised to know the several that have asked like you have and I found out, it was they who were not serious about Christ and had no intention of seeking a mate with the kind of criteria I gave them.

I praise the Lord and thank God for young saints who will raise up families in the future for God's glory and the perpetuation of gospel preaching.


_________________
Marvin

 2018/3/14 19:43Profile
dohzman
Member



Joined: 2004/10/13
Posts: 2132


 Re:

I apologize for sounding trite, as Marvin stated. On a board like this it is difficult to speculate as to a persons personal walk with The Lord and the maturity level, seriousness, etc....personally I like the basics in doing or following the principles of God s Word, follow God is very hard and not at all trite, it means your eyes are on Jesus, that’s a good place to have them as the eyes are indeed the windows of the soul. The baptist said behold the lamb of God......a good place to start. The book of Amos says can two walk together unless they are in agreement, that may also seem trite but when you think on that one principle a whole lot in courtship will become clear. What Marvin did was to give you some practical advise which is good advise but in the end the cross you bear may be one of singleness for a great many years and the only way you will get through it is to keep your eyes/heart fix on Jesus. My guess is that in the process of you serving Jesus as you develop as deeper sense of discernment into the ways of God s working in your life the thing you desire may just happen, all thing will happen decent and in order and bring glory/testimony to the faithfulness of God. Don’t be in a hurry sis.


_________________
D.Miller

 2018/3/14 21:25Profile
Gloryandgrace
Member



Joined: 2017/7/14
Posts: 964
Snoqualmie, WA

 Re:

Very well said brother Miller: that was good sound counsel amen.


_________________
Marvin

 2018/3/14 22:20Profile
savannah
Member



Joined: 2008/10/30
Posts: 1884


 Re: partly right


TUTC,

You said,

"...that Christians don't add fuel to the fire..."

The fire can be likened to the wild fires in California.

The preventive measures have been abandoned, as I said in my previous post.

That's just the raw truth! And if we don't return to the 'old paths', regarding gender roles, as God has spelled out in plain language in His Holy Word, we'll only continue down the slope and into the mire.

And yes, mothers do have a responsibility as well. Titus 2:3-5 is easy enough to understand, even for a 10 year old.

So yes, both the fathers and the mothers have gone the way of Cain. The fathers do not protect, and the mothers do not train.

Yet, all hope is not lost! The proverb is still there in His Word, and we can hope and trust in Him. His Holy Spirit has not abandoned us. For He says, "Trust in the LORD with all thy heart; and lean not to thy own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he will direct thy paths."
Proverbs 3:5,6

 2018/3/16 8:33Profile
TakeUptheCross
Member



Joined: 2016/8/10
Posts: 228
Germany

 Re:

Thank you all once again for the answers! They are a blessing!

I am not in a hurry, brother. I think waiting is better than choosing someone below God's standards. And does not He make us one so that there be godly generation? - May the Lord's will be done!

God bless you all!

 2018/3/19 11:49Profile
CalvaryCom
Member



Joined: 2007/9/29
Posts: 175
greater NYC area

 Re:

I do not build doctrines around experience, but the experiences of many can be like "a multitude of counselors in whom there is safety."

Having said that, I know many, many single Christians, male and female, who are middle aged and are either divorced, or who have never married in the first place---they have only had a string of failed relationships. Many are now quite bitter about the topic, and have walls around them that are seemingly impenetrable, even fostering a sense of "righteousness" in being aloof and politely hostile (how's that for an odd combination of words?!).

"And the love of many will grow cold." Let's be part of the few, not the many---whether married or single.

Agape in Christ,

Alec


_________________
Alec Stevens

 2018/3/20 7:10Profile
Theophila
Member



Joined: 2007/1/15
Posts: 363


 Re: Thinking about marriage?

Dear Sister,
Great questions you have asked.
As long as your heart truly desires to do the Lord's will, He will lead you. That is the testimony of countless godly women over the ages.
There's no reason to be afraid of hitching up with the wrong person. You continue to walk with the Lord and He'll take care of the rest.
But of the things you can do:
1]Maintain your walk with Him.
2]Seek to grow in the fruit of the Spirit
3] Pray for him! Yes, him whom you do not currently know. Pray for him as you would want an intercessor to pray for you. Pray for his walk with the Lord, pray for his vocation, pray for his family, pray for his mother [!] and sisters, pray for his health, pray for his calling, pray that he will be a man of prayer. Pray about everything you can think of and then, pray some more.
4]Acquire/develop your house-keeping skills e.g. cooking [including baking]cleaning, simple decor, sewing, etc
5]Have conversations with [or read good books about] godly older women who are/were happily married.
6] Be very careful how you relate to young men, christian or otherwise. Do not allow your emotions be fastened on anyone until you KNOW for certain he is the one. Be kind and polite to all but do not spend time with young men, even christian ones. You will be amazed how quickly attachments can form simply by spending time with one particular person.
7]Finally, be at peace. The Lord is quite aware of your situation. Even now, He is working to bring His counsel to pass in your life.
Warm hugs to you....


_________________
Tolu

 2018/3/20 16:56Profile
TakeUptheCross
Member



Joined: 2016/8/10
Posts: 228
Germany

 Re:

@Alec

I do not understand you. Could please clarify? What kind of doctrine could one build around such bad experience?

@Tolu
Thank you! That's good list of things to do - especially prayer! I did not think before of praying for his mother :D

Edit to add: Oh, and guess what I found out: If you want your husband to be a godly man, a man of prayer, so must you yourself be. Otherwise you both would be incompatible. And since God wants us to watch in prayer, it is good to seek "the normal Christian life" instead of settling for less in your own life or the life of your family.

Blessings!

 2018/3/25 16:25Profile









 lifetime partner

finding a lifetime partner (marriage) seems one of the biggest decision of this life...

 2018/3/27 14:46





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