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Discussion Forum : General Topics : The one thing guaranteed to end all marriages

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Joined: 2010/11/24
Posts: 277

 The one thing guaranteed to end all marriages

This morning I woke up to a text I’ve known for months was coming…

It read, “the divorce is done.”

Despite the foreknowledge, the finality of those four simple words put an immediate lump in my throat and an ache in my stomach.

Today my parents marriage of 44 years is officially over. The rings have been removed, the papers have been signed, the assets have been divided…


Some food for thought >>>

J Kruger

 2017/7/31 7:49Profile

Joined: 2002/12/11
Posts: 36837
"Pilgrim and Sojourner." - 1 Peter 2:11

 Re: The one thing guaranteed to end all marriages

Good thoughts here:

Hardness of heart is the root of all failed marriages.

Hardness of heart is…

-lacking genuine sorrow over sin.

-continuing to go back again and again into temptation, lies and deceit.

-choosing to think of yourself as most important.

-choosing what’s best for you and not the other.

-the small lies and huge lies that you convince yourself are not a big deal.

-being unteachable.

-tearing down with words.

-comparing and contrasting your wrongs against the other and making the judgement that “theirs is worse.”

-responding with defensiveness.

-the need to always be in control.

-waiting for the other to say sorry first.

-demanding the other change first.

-thinking more of what you deserve instead of what you can give.

-focusing more on being right than on becoming righteous.

-what you can get out of someone instead of how you can invest in them.

-the refusal to forgive.

-the refusal to humble yourself to ask for forgiveness.

-saying you forgive, but never letting go.

-asking for forgiveness and then going back to do the same thing again.

-magnifying the weaknesses and minimizing the strengths of the other, while magnifying the strengths and minimizing the weaknesses of yourself.

-justifying wrongful actions because they “started it first.”

-spending more time trying to find an official clinical diagnosis to explain away their issues than looking in the mirror to address your own.

-preserving your own well-being at the expense of the other.

SI Moderator - Greg Gordon

 2017/7/31 7:56Profile

 for better or for worse

But I have a concern about this post...

Is it meaning that divorce is okay? I've known a stories of marriages that the partner has been absolutely evil and sin so much against his/her spouse. But the spouse did not leave or divorce his/her partner until the end....

 2017/7/31 8:33

Joined: 2017/5/22
Posts: 12

 Re: The one thing guaranteed to end all marriages

You wonder why your parents divorced. I wonder all at the time why my parents didn't divorce.


 2017/8/1 13:35Profile

 Re: The one thing guaranteed to end all marriages

This is a heart breaking, yet excellent article...thank you for sharing it. The Lord is doing a beautiful work in my husband and I, as I'm sure He is doing in other marriages. Our marriage was nearly destroyed. We both thought it best to go separate ways at first, but the Lord showed us the hardness of heart creeping in. Regardless of the mistakes made in the past...and past being key, the Lord has forgiven and covered with His precious blood. He is teaching us to love as He loves. If you don't guard your marriage, and revere it as the covenant God gave you, preditors will come in. I'm so thankful for my husband, he is precious, but above all I praise Jesus for new beginnings!

 2017/8/2 14:58

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