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I agree that God is always doing “something” in our lives, I'm just not always privy to it and that works for me. He'll let me know when I need to know. I don't choose to share the books. It's just not something I do. I don't like other people's influence when I'm reading, researching, processing, and praying. So I really keep people out. It's just the way I do things and it has really worked for me over the years but I hope you enjoy your list of books :)
Years ago I did have a friend call me and tell me how he had just heard a statistic about single people who sleep with books on their bed. They stay single. I hung up on him lol!
| 2016/5/11 21:49||Profile|
| Re: |
Sorry it took me awhile to get back here. I've been spending more and more time offline and alone with God. The more I do it, the more I only want to do it. I'm being drawn in deeper and the Holy Spirit is definitely working in me.
I'm determined to stick to my quest: Trust, abide, and obey. Everything that doesn't have eternal value is being purged in my life. No stone unturned. None. I won't settle for anything less than being 100% His, filled with 100% Him. I've been experiencing my own personal revival in a marvelous way and I refuse to let it be quenched by anything or anyone.
By the time I leave this earth:
I don't want it to have ANY kind of a hold on me in any way. Not by the things I spend my time in, the things I eat, the words I speak, nor with the thoughts, attitudes and motives that go along with them. Not even in the things I desire/want/seek after.
I fully intend to wake up, spend the day, and go back to sleep with Jesus beside me, leading the way. I want to be a true bond-servant, completely dead to myself and given completely over to my Master for His glory and His service. I will not be content until this is the way I live.
I want to hear Him whisper when the storms rage and the multitudes are screaming around me.
I do not want to step out of His perfect peace. I want for nothing to move me or cause me to be afraid.
I've counted the cost. I'm willing to lose my apartment and my job if necessary. I'm prepared for the real possibility of being struck, stabbed, shot or killed. I'm willing to be mocked, persecuted, humiliated, wrongfully accused, etc., for His name's sake.
My desire is Jesus, His glory and souls, souls souls. (Trust, abide, obey.)
Acts 20:24, "But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God."
And I've chosen to believe and step out into this scripture with reckless abandon:
Luke 12:22-23, "And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing."
| 2016/5/16 17:42||Profile|
| Re: |
Markus: That pat-on-the-back business is tough to die to. The enemy likes trying to get to me with that one. I want so desperately for my motives to be pure. But, even when they ARE, the enemy loves to inject thoughts like, "You're just doing this for the reward of it." Thoughts like that are one my biggest struggles but I no longer allow them to stagnate me. I just tell myself that if there's a reward for doing it I don't know what it is, but God, please don't let me get in the way of You receiving the glory for it!
Where are you planning to go on your holiday? Are you looking for a specific ministry to do?
Humility by Andrew Murray, is one of my permanent books. I try to keep my books to 12 or less. Currently at two dozen, so I'm working on it! I haven't heard of Phillip Keller or A Shephards Look at the 23rd Psalm but, Lord willing, I'll run into it. Sounds like a humdinger the way Jeff described it!
Jasmine: You know, I'm actually pretty glad that the Holy Spirit doesn't let me in on the things He's trying to work in or out of me. It would be my inclination to try to "help things along" and I'd just mess it up! The whole Matthew 6:34 concept is something I really have come to embrace!
Matthew 6:34, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
Like you, I'm at the point where I don't want the influence of authors and books interfering with my time in the Word and hearing from the Holy Spirit. Books are great and have their place, but that time is not right now in my life. With that said, I have six books that I'm eager to dive into sometime in the near future, Lord willing!
As for being single and sleeping with a book on the bed, I'm very happy with that! I'm called to be single anyway! You did the right thing hanging up on your friend with the bad advice! LOL
| 2016/5/16 18:03||Profile|
| Re: Much to my suprise!|
I guess for better way of putting it God has been opening the eys of my heart and showing me by the Spirit of revelation that He has been with me, and us, every day of our lives since the very first minute we were born. Before we even knew Him. A couple of months ago I began to feel a warmness sort of milling around inside of me and I found myself during the day having lumps in my throat and wanting to cry at times. And I kep almostinvoluntarily being drawn back to scenes from y childhood etc. when the trauy,a and heartbreakl of this world was already beginning to affect me. A absenmtee father who was in a menatl home while I was at this early tender age was already wounding me etc. although I've hardly even realized that until now. Yet that's just one thing. I've been ian auto accidents where people lost their lives outirght and I walked away withjout a scrtach. This world is a rough place. There are so many scenes and instances I have been drawn back to and the Lord has told me He was there through all of them, and He wants to minister to me regarding them all. The ministry to me has been His showing Me His eternal love for me which began eons and eons before the worlds were made. It has always been, it never began. It's utterly impossible in a way to relate this I have seen but I bet you have some idea of what I mean. This love He has shown me hasbeen VERY tender and compassionate and I still don't know how to act at times. He is the great burden bearer. He came to heal the broken hearted and not just save people. He really just begins to do good things for us when we are saved. He knit me in my mother's womb and delicately fashioned me in every part and way abnd gave me my basic temperment which I no longer need to quarrel with. So I've been walking around for a couple of months full of tears and desperate that this season not end. It is changing everything and I was not even contemplating this or asking for it. If it's good for me then God sees us all in the same way. Then it's good for you.I despise the woprdly concept of a man morte than I ver haver. I want to be like the Loprd Jesus Christ of Nazareth. HE IS A TRUE MAN and I want His love in Me and want to spread it because it's pure and undefiled. It's the real real deal.
14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name,
that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and TO KNOW THE LOVE OF CHRIST which surpasses knowledge (known only by revelation), that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. (Ephe 3:14-19)
Information informs. Revelation transforms. This revelation, which I thought maybe I knew before but really didn't, has melted me.
Blessed be the altogether good Lord!
| 2016/5/17 8:31||Profile|
| Re: |
Thank you all, brothers and sisters! I'm very encouraged to read the testimonies of God's work in your lives, and to read the honest confessions of hearts. Thank you.
I must say, I feel like I am about to enter a new, exciting chapter of my life, in my walk with Christ. I am still young spiritually, though I have said in the past to brethren, that as much as I already gone through with my dear Lord Jesus in these past 2 years, I cannot fathom how it will be after 30 years, if I will be a pilgrim here that long. I have tasted of the Lord and I know He is gracious!
I live about six hours away from my parents, and I moved here 10-12 months ago. It is a long, marvelous story of how God lead me up to this point, but I am thankful to say this was God's will for me. My brother and I moved here to grow spiritually, become disciples, but I never imagined how God would fulfill that desire. Shortly after I moved here, God broke me for the first time in my walk with Him. Oh praise Him, there are no words anywhere in any tongue to describe the awesomeness of that time! (and it was during the time when I, by God's abundant grace, stumbled upon SermonIndex) Oh how glorious it was, and ever since then, I have had longings to have such a filling of the Holy Spirit again, it was certainly was a revival within me. During my time here in this city/town, I have seen people come to Christ, young people especially, and I have been blessed oh so richly! The congregation that I fellowship with often, I have watched God break them, and gloriously watched the rebuilding, hearts on fire for God, people coming to Christ! For the first time, I heard anointed messages coming forth from the pulpit, and oh how my heart rejoiced!
Yet, sad to say, I did not stay in such sweet fellowship with my Father, and soon I found myself forcing myself to spend time with the Lord, and I started to realize that I had taken my eyes off of Jesus. I began seeing fruit in my life that could not be of the Spirit of Christ, and my heart became convicted to return to the Lord again. And I did, yet it seemed that my sweet times of fellowship with the Father were short, and my heart abruptly would harden again. I couldn't understand it, and it grieved me, but apparently not enough to forsake everything for the sake of my Saviour!
During the time that I've lived here, one of the blessings has been that I have spent much time alone, because God used those times to guide me into deeper union with Christ. How thankful I am! I'm thinking of a quote I once read, by Spurgeon, "I have learned to kiss the waves that throw me up against the Rock of Ages", or something along that line.
And so yes, God has done many many good things in my life already, after only two years of faith, and I am not worthy to have received any of it!! though He gives it again and again! And He has put a heavy desire and burden on my heart since my conversion, (though at times I seemed to have lost sight of it), for the salvation of the souls of men, and His glorification! And a burden/desire to preach for Christ, and I pray He will let me preach for Him, but either way, I am not worthy of such a wonderful honor! Though I will never stop sharing Christ with the world, regardless of what is to come, or so I pray.
And now, as my [earthly] schooling comes to an end here, I feel* led to move back home to my parents house, to serve God there. My whole family has converted since my brother and I did, and there is now the beginnings of another fort for Christ there in that town, and I feel that God has much ahead for that region yet *(NOT THAT MY FEELINGS MEAN A THING!!! God do what He may, I'm not here to forecast the Spirit of God, John 3:8 came to mind)
Presently, God has once again been giving me a greater love for the Scriptures, and a greater understanding/revelation of certain things. I openly confess though, that I am not as close to God as I want/NEED to be, and I do not want to be out of fellowship with God, especially if He has work for me. I want to be continuously ready for service to Him, great or small, and I wish my heart once again experienced revival. I pray this for all of you, and for all the saints that read this and use SI.
Whether I do move, or not, I want my heart to be moved, to be tearfully burdened for the revival of God's people and salvation of the lost souls all over the earth. I don't know if this is necessarily appropriate to post this on this thread, but perhaps ya'll would pray for me in this.
Thank you all :)
| 2016/5/17 16:41||Profile|
| Re: Edit - additional to previous post|
Not only praying for the saints here on SI, but the whole Body.
God will do His good will.
With love and a longing heart for God's consuming fire,
| 2016/5/17 16:51||Profile|