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narrowpath
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Joined: 2005/1/9
Posts: 1099
Germany NRW

 Divorce and Remarriage


It is very common nowadays that we have couples in our fellowships that have been divorced for various reasons and then join a new fellowship. I know this is a very contentious issue but we need to face it.

Marriage is an institution designed by God to with the intention bless us with stabile and loving families for raising a godly offspring. He hates divorce but there are circumstances where separation poses the lesser evil. In former days divorce was very uncommon and people stuck it out together in an unhappy marriage if not for love sake then at least for the sake of the children, relatives and economic reasons.

Satan has worked very hard to break down society, family and marriage. Now we even go so far as to re-define it. We exchange vows before God that we will not part until death parts us. Even in evangelical circles many assume that divorce and remarriage is a right they can exercise at will.

A lady just called me who came to faith while married to a husband who is an alcoholic, abusive, violent and unfaithful. She filed for divorce and stayed unmarried for a long while. Now she wants to marry a believer who is divorced, too. She asked me if it is legitimate to re-marry. Her pastor states he would not conduct such a wedding ceremony but would welcome them into the fellowship as a couple. This is probably the same stand I would take.

I cannot see any clear indication in the bible that allows for remarriage while the divorced spouse is still alive. The only verse that touches on the issue is

1 Cor 7:15: But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

I see that this verse states that the bond of marriage is no longer in place when the unbeliever departs, but how about remarriage? I cannot see that this verse condones remarriage to a believer in such cases; otherwise the bible would have said so.

The question that arises from here is:

How should we treat remarried couples in our fellowships?
Should we conduct re-marriages with the blessing of the church?

And how about 1 Tim 3 and Titus 1:6
Should re-married men be exempt from offices like eldership or deaconate?

I know this is a very loaded subject and some of you may be personally affected by it. How do we speak the in truth and love when it comes to divorce and remarriage? Speaking the truth in love Ephesians 4:15 and love your brother in the truth 3 John 1:1.

May I kindly ask you to back up your opinions by scripture.

 2015/10/29 15:22Profile
TMK
Member



Joined: 2012/2/8
Posts: 5533
NC, USA

 Re: Divorce and Remarriage

A couple of preliminary questions:

1). Do you think remarriage is improper even if the divorce is legitimate

2) the verse you quoted talks about the abandoned spouse not being under bondage; what do you think the bondage is that is being referenced?


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Todd

 2015/10/29 15:26Profile
narrowpath
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Joined: 2005/1/9
Posts: 1099
Germany NRW

 Re:

1) This is anwered in Mark 10:11-12

Mark 10:11 So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.
Mark 10:12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

2) I see the bond of marriage is no longer binding when the unbeliever departs, but nothing is explicitly allows remarriage otherwise it would say so.

On the contrary, the bible warns:

Luke 16:18 “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.

The only situation where we can safely assume that the bible condones remarriage is after a spouse died.

Romans 7:3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.

See also 1 Timothy 5:14


 2015/10/29 16:21Profile
narrowpath
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Joined: 2005/1/9
Posts: 1099
Germany NRW

 Re:

deleted duplicate post

 2015/10/29 16:21Profile
dolfan
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Joined: 2011/8/23
Posts: 1632
Alabama

 Re:

I wish I could use italics on the word "tend". : )

I tend to agree with how narrowpath reads the scriptures here. But, I have one difference of view regarding Romans 7. There, Paul was not teaching a point on marriage; he used the Law of Moses about marriage as an example of the applicability of the Law to believers. (Carefully, I avoid the whole antinomian debate.....). He spoke there to those who knew the law, presumably Roman Jews who had come to Christ, and said that when Jesus died bodily it effected their death to the law (no longer married to it) so that they were free to belong to (i.e., married to) another (Jesus) who was raised from the dead. He used the powerful image of marriage and the effect of a spouse's death on the freedom of a widow to marry. What I don't THINK we can safely do is stretch the application of that very narrow point to use it as a prohibition against remarriage in the face of a legitimate, biblically allowed divorce.

People do stretch Romans 7:1 like that all the time but I cannot follow them there. If Paul intended to address that issue, it would have detracted from his argument. Several other reasons within the structure of Romans to support this but I will let it rest lest I, too, become a castaway and hijack the thread. : )

You can reasonably conclude that the Lord prohibits remarriage and to an equally strong point see that He does not forbid it in cases of adultery-based divorces --- all without appeal to Romans 7.


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Tim

 2015/10/29 16:46Profile
TMK
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Joined: 2012/2/8
Posts: 5533
NC, USA

 Re:

That was my point- Jesus seems to allow divorce in the case of adultery. The one "adultered" against is free to divorce and remarry.


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Todd

 2015/10/29 19:49Profile
dohzman
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Joined: 2004/10/13
Posts: 2132


 Re: Divorce and Remarriage::::::( hummmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I do not like to open these types of Pandora s boxes, personally ..only thing I would say is that when you read something like ICor 7: 15 you need to read the whole context and not just site a text out of the context because it is just that.....out of context, for instance vs 15 can not be understood with out the rest of the chapter including verses 27 and 28 and the concluding verses..I believe I Tim 3 addresses qualifications for the office or administration of the ministry as does Titus 1: 6 an argument can be made here but I would think that perhaps there could be some variables involved.

For instance: what do you do with a man or woman who was divorced, than came to Christ than got married? I can site several different circumstances but it may take away from your opening page so I'll be quiet:)


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D.Miller

 2015/10/29 23:04Profile
Sree
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Joined: 2011/8/20
Posts: 1762


 Re:

Divorce is not permitted in New Covenant under any condition. Jesus answered it plainly saying that due to the hardness of heart God through Moses permitted Divorce in Old Covenant(Matthew 19:8). But under new covenant we have heart of flesh. Hence we can forgive our spouse and live peacefully with them. So Divorce is not for new covenant believers.
Now this will kindle questions like what about women in abusive relationship? In India here, many women come to Jesus from Hindu background, their husbands will mistreat them for their faith. We advice these women to be faithful to Lord in things concerning the Lord and to be faithful to Husband in things concerning submission to husband. Now if the torture in unbearable then the women can separate for a while. But divorce is not advised.

What about people who got divorce before coming to the Lord? The answer is Lord overlooks the time of ignorance and forgives them. Now it better for them to live as single and not marry again. But if the urge for physical relationship is uncontrollable then it is better to remarry a believer than to die in Lust. Though there is no Biblical answer to this one, we know by discernment that this is better solution than to struggle with lust all through life.


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Sreeram

 2015/10/30 3:46Profile
TMK
Member



Joined: 2012/2/8
Posts: 5533
NC, USA

 Re:

Sree-

Not sure how you can say that when Jesus himself permitted divorce in the case of marital unfaithfulness.

Of course divorce is never preferred and spouses can forgive etc but if Jesus named an exception to the general prohibition not sure why you say it is never permitted.


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Todd

 2015/10/30 7:57Profile
Lysa
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Joined: 2008/10/25
Posts: 3414
This world is not my home anymore.

 Re: Divorce and Remarriage

Quote:
narrowpath wrote:
It is very common nowadays that we have couples in our fellowships that have been divorced for various reasons and then join a new fellowship. I know this is a very contentious issue but we need to face it.


What is there to face? You love them. They come to you broken, do you want to break them down further? Or maybe have sections in the church for them? Those who are divorced sit over there, those who are remarried get the very back row!? Maybe the man who has been married only once (but hits his wife), gets to sit on the front row!! Yeah! (I know sarcasm)

(edit) You bring up this topic but(/edit) What is it exactly that you purpose to tell remarried people in your church to do?


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Lisa

 2015/10/30 8:16Profile





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