I'd put together a bit of my story to share and then thought better of posting it. I've lived in the same waters where you are, though I'm sure there are plenty of differences. I empathize.
Something I've learned and am learning after many years of times of one mindedness and times of differing minds within our marriage. Wait on the Lord. Overly simple? Well, try waiting and see how simple it is! :)
I won't offer tips and advice beyond what some have already offered because they have spoken wisely. Hear them. As for your own heart, though, embrace the conflict as God's leading you through paths of righteousness for His name's sake. A lot of things are being worked into you both, and a lot of things are being worked out of you both, as you continue to seek God while you wait on Him.
Meanwhile, you don't have to be idle. I had aspirations and long-lived hopes of "full time" "vocational ministry", too. Don't know about your experience, but I put a lot into that basket. My wife did so with me. We learned through grievous difficulty and a winding journey that we look back on as "paths of righteousness for His name's sake" (although we were for a time far from anything called right), that He lead us through those things (using even our disobedience) to work into us the righteousness of Him who called us. In spite of the expectations of others, ambitions of our own, and wanderings of our own infliction, God has brought us to where we are now ---- 180 degrees away from any idea of "full time vocational ministry" and smack in the middle of "all time relational ministry".
I'm suggesting to you, Joshua, that the paradigm you're pinning your vision to is broken and never to return, and that you ought to perhaps rest in Jesus while He works a new understanding of what He's doing into your spirit and soul, my sweet brother.
Find a place in Him to thank Him for stopping you at the water's edge. If He's used your one-flesh-with-you wife to accomplish that, love her all the more. Heed what others have told you about your unity with her and your leadership of her. You are always her first pastor. Don't run off in your heart to shepherd others until she is with you and you with her.
At the same time, befriend, witness, teach and shepherd others anyway. Not to start or form or conduct a church, per se. Learn the process of shepherding through your actions at home and through the time-consuming practice of spending real time with a select few people to help them grow in Christ (or, to win them and then to grow in Christ). Do it informally. Forget "vocation" as in "paying job". (That's tough to hear right now, I know.) Pursue "calling" as in "obedience to Christ" and you can start now with people you know and work with. Just do it.