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Joined: 2011/8/20
Posts: 1754


Luke 14:26 is staid in the context of following Jesus and accepting him and being his disciple. It is not said in the context of ministry.

Basically if I have an unbelieving wife who does not want me to accept Christ. She threatens me that she will leave me and separate the kids from me if I become a Christian then I should be willing to forsake her for the Lord.

In Hinduism, when someone is called to become a Guru, he leaves his wife and kids and becomes a monk. This is not same with Christianity. If I let my believing wife suffer and lead her to adultery and choose to save others, then how can it benefit God's kingdom? Have I not taken a pledge that I will make provisions for her all the days of my life? How can a man run from this responsibilities.

I think the advice given by Greg (SermonIndex) is the best. Start with small things. Start with setting up a small prayer group in your house. See how the Lord is leading you.

According to 1 Peter 3-7, if man does not honor his wife and listen to her then his prayers will be hindered. Forget about ministry if your prayers are hindered and Lord stopped listening to you. How can such a man save others if he himself lost connection with the Lord?


 2015/3/11 4:19Profile

Joined: 2011/8/23
Posts: 1632


Joshua Herndon,

I'd put together a bit of my story to share and then thought better of posting it. I've lived in the same waters where you are, though I'm sure there are plenty of differences. I empathize.

Something I've learned and am learning after many years of times of one mindedness and times of differing minds within our marriage. Wait on the Lord. Overly simple? Well, try waiting and see how simple it is! :)

I won't offer tips and advice beyond what some have already offered because they have spoken wisely. Hear them. As for your own heart, though, embrace the conflict as God's leading you through paths of righteousness for His name's sake. A lot of things are being worked into you both, and a lot of things are being worked out of you both, as you continue to seek God while you wait on Him.

Meanwhile, you don't have to be idle. I had aspirations and long-lived hopes of "full time" "vocational ministry", too. Don't know about your experience, but I put a lot into that basket. My wife did so with me. We learned through grievous difficulty and a winding journey that we look back on as "paths of righteousness for His name's sake" (although we were for a time far from anything called right), that He lead us through those things (using even our disobedience) to work into us the righteousness of Him who called us. In spite of the expectations of others, ambitions of our own, and wanderings of our own infliction, God has brought us to where we are now ---- 180 degrees away from any idea of "full time vocational ministry" and smack in the middle of "all time relational ministry".

I'm suggesting to you, Joshua, that the paradigm you're pinning your vision to is broken and never to return, and that you ought to perhaps rest in Jesus while He works a new understanding of what He's doing into your spirit and soul, my sweet brother.

Find a place in Him to thank Him for stopping you at the water's edge. If He's used your one-flesh-with-you wife to accomplish that, love her all the more. Heed what others have told you about your unity with her and your leadership of her. You are always her first pastor. Don't run off in your heart to shepherd others until she is with you and you with her.

At the same time, befriend, witness, teach and shepherd others anyway. Not to start or form or conduct a church, per se. Learn the process of shepherding through your actions at home and through the time-consuming practice of spending real time with a select few people to help them grow in Christ (or, to win them and then to grow in Christ). Do it informally. Forget "vocation" as in "paying job". (That's tough to hear right now, I know.) Pursue "calling" as in "obedience to Christ" and you can start now with people you know and work with. Just do it.


 2015/3/11 10:05Profile

Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7474


I agree dolfan.

In other words bloom where you are planted and see what happens. Too many people think that in order to be useful in God's kingdom one has to be a career missionary.

The church primarily consists of people who walk the talk by demonstrating God's redemptive power in how they live, how they conduct their business, how they relate to others. Without all this to prove to the world that the Gospel impacts lives, preaching would be in vain.

If you believe in your spirit God is calling you to full-time ministry and you wife drags, I suggest you pray for her. You will gain a lot of experience in patience if you make this an important priority. will need all the patience you can get.

Sandra Miller

 2015/3/12 11:07Profile

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