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Wow!!! Thank you krautfrau, I'm getting a lot of good advice from everyone thanks for your prayers and concerns I feel lighter. It brings me to tears knowing someone cares and hears me thank you my brother and sisters in the Lord. :-)

 2014/7/5 15:42


You know krautfrau I've never seen myself as a abused woman, weird yah, I guess I was.

 2014/7/5 16:08

Joined: 2006/7/31
Posts: 3057


Greetings soulwon

you shared:I believe for some strange reasonhe he is incapable of loveing, I feel sorry for him.


I will be praying for your husband to repent and find JESUS and see how much he needs HIM before it is to late. GOD loves him I pray he will see that. The word tells us "All things are possible through CHRIST JESUS" just imagine the rejoicing that will go on in heaven if your husband comes to the LORD.

I am glad you are doing better now, JESUS has a way of touching our hearts and mending them :) HE really is our everything.

God bless you

 2014/7/5 16:26Profile

Joined: 2011/3/8
Posts: 162


Thank you for starting this thread soulwon. I really needed to hear this and feel so encouraged by the the many shared testimonies. My marriage has broken down and have been praying for an answer. There has been so much persecution, adulteries and abuse in my marriage. My husband is unsaved and I tried to leave him but the Holy Spirit led me to remain living with my husband. We do not talk anymore just live in the same house. I often speak to him or tell him things but it is all a one sided conversation. It is indeed a painful cross to bear when you live with a emotionally,abusive passive aggressive husband and yet when you pray for a change or his salvation the answer does not come sooner. I once shared on another thread unrepentant adulterer a few years back. Since then he hasn't had any more affairs but the damage to our marriage was done. Like many have shared I find comfort in the Word but of late I have felt discouraged again and am grateful for the reminder that this ongoing trial is a type of a cross and rather than desiring to live my best life now this is the way I can learn to die to self daily. The adulteries taught me the true meaning of forgiving others and have helped changed me and highlight areas that I needed to grow in and bear fruit. Like some have shared my husband will not leave and I giggled at the other testimony were the husband hides in the bedroom when Christian visitors come round, Coz mine does the same!
So grateful and feeling encouraged and do covert your prayers brothers and sisters as we can not endure the onslaught on our marriages from the enemies camp without the grace of God extended daily to our lives


 2014/7/5 16:54Profile

Joined: 2006/7/31
Posts: 3057


lindi1208 wrote:So grateful and feeling encouraged and do covert your prayers brothers and sisters as we can not endure the onslaught on our marriages from the enemies camp without the grace of God extended daily to our lives


This is so true, we can not endure apart from CHRIST. I know it is only by HIS grace and mercy that my marriage is in a better place now. I think for me it was so vitally important to realize a few things about myself, and who the real enemy of my marriage was. So many marriages are under attack, the enemy wants to destroy and tear down but GOD is all about, love, forgiveness, and restoration. I give thanks everyday for all that HE does and continues to do in my life and my marriage.

I just wanted to say I will keep you in my prayers as well as your husband too. I know the enemy wants us to get discouraged but in JESUS there is hope!

God bless

 2014/7/5 17:08Profile


Thanks for your prayers mj and I do feel sorry for him. It's sad. I remember many years ago our son seven at the time with tears coming down his face saying dad please tell me that you love me. And he just walked away. For 20 years I asked for purdys choc wraped in a purple box with a red bow for Valentine's days but I never got it. Then the last 10 I never asked, I never cared. But maybe it doesn't matter, maybe these things shouldn't concern me. But I actually do wish him the best.

 2014/7/5 17:47


I will pray for you sister Lindi, may God strengthen you. You know what, this might seem very weird but I wished my husband would had had an affair I knew in God's eyes this would have set me free.

 2014/7/5 17:56

Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7463



When I read your response, my first reaction was,"Lord, have mercy!" And I mean it, more so after reading all the responses.

My tendency is to try to figure out why a man would behave like you wrote about. I used to do that a lot until a Presbyterian friend of mine said, "Sandra, it is because of sin." Yes, Madam! Sin. Ugly as the devil. Devil incarnate? Seems like it sometimes. If we try to rationalize abusive behaviors because of some other influences, we are bypassing the solution - the perpetrator has to take ownership of his behaviors before any solution is forthcoming. And it is found at the foot of the Cross of Jesus Christ.

God bless you...will pray for you when the Holy Spirit reminds me.


Sandra Miller

 2014/7/5 18:43Profile

Joined: 2006/9/13
Posts: 3156


Here is the advice I received from a dear brother in Christ:

"My advice to you is to keep going after God. Your answer, your solace, your shield is in the Word of God. Soak yourself in scripture, discipline your spirit to wait on God's further transforming power in your life. Make no rash move outside of the perfect will of God. If you are unsure of an action, and are experiencing confusion or uncertainty in a certian aspect of your walk (whether it be through the apostasy, lukewarmness and/or worldliness of a church, pastor, etc.), this is a sure sign that you need to wait on God, saturate yourself in scripture, and seek the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to enlighten your spirit. If you humble yourself, and lean not to your own understanding, God will surely meet you in the secret place and give you peace that passes all understanding. Then, when it is time to move on, He will open that door, and you will have no doubt it is of God.

The hardest thing to do is wait. Our minds and spirits detect something is wrong, but this is not enough to effectuate a change. the change must be wrought through God, through seeking Him, and we must never lean to our own understanding in these crisis situations. Look to God, humbly, patiently. Endure the trial; God is testing your heart, to see whether you'll try to remedy the situation on your own, or look to Him for resolve. The human, logical way would be to act impetuously and leave the church, or harbour a harsh feeling of spiritual anger in your heart. Rid yourself of these burdens and commit everything to Christ. Look to Jesus, soak in the Word of God, meditate on His promises, and the Word will be the lamp to light your path.

If you trust this situation to Him, and do these things, you will be victorious and your walk will grow exponentially as a result. Through your maturity and obedience in the Lord, God will begin to change your husband right before your eyes. Let God do and take care of everything - all you need to do is put Him first, acknowledge your utter weakness, and keep yourself unspotted from the world. I hope this bit of humble advice helps!"

It was a very good word and I praise God for my brothers and sisters in Christ.

 2014/7/6 3:53Profile


Wow thank you my dear brother in Christ very precious advice well received.

 2014/7/6 6:07

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