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Discussion Forum : Miracles that follow the plow : Am I wrong

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Sree
Member



Joined: 2011/8/20
Posts: 1756


 Re: Am I wrong

I am not sure whether I understood your question correctly. Asking a wife means a person has desire in him to get married. There is nothing wrong with this desire.

In matthew 19 - 11 Jesus said-
The disciples *said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” 11 But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”

I had the desire to be married so I got married to a women whom I believe is God's will for me at the age of 28. I thoroughly believe that if a man has desire to be married then he is not called to serve alone. This is exactly what Jesus meant here. Not all are called to serve alone. I cannot accept the statement to serve alone so I got married. This desire is God given, why should we blame our self?

I think when people are young some are too zealous for God that they think they can serve alone. But when aged they realize it was not given for them from heaven to serve this way. They can always correct the mistake they made out of zeal at young age. I do not find anything wrong with this.


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Sreeram

 2014/4/22 2:56Profile
MaryJane
Member



Joined: 2006/7/31
Posts: 3057


 Re: Am I wrong

Greetings Blaine

I don't think you are wrong in seeking GOD on this matter. There is nothing in the WORD that tells us not to pray and ask GOD for a help mate. I think the only time such a request could become an issue is in how one responds to HIS answer once given.


In the meantime I pray you will find fellowship with other brothers/sisters in CHRIST so that you will be encouraged daily in HIM!!

God bless
maryjane

 2014/4/22 7:57Profile
MrBillPro
Member



Joined: 2005/2/24
Posts: 3283
Texas

 Re:

Mr. Bear, same age here and same life as you. Although I was married for 38 years and now a widower. I have thought about a relationship, but one, I am beginning to enjoy the single life, and two, we are not alone, remember the Holy Spirit resides in us. 2 Timothy 1:14...That good thing which was committed unto thee keep by the Holy Ghost which dwelleth in us. Yes your absolutely right! no denying it, I do get lonely every now and then, but I live on a acre of property, were something always needs done. I also help take care of my 82 year old mom and 87 year old stepfather with Alzheimer’s; I just try my best to keep my mind and body busy. Even at 62, I have been told I don't look 62 and I sure don't feel 62, even though after all I have been through in the past few years, I should look 90 and feel 100.

I feel about 40 because I have always been on some sort of workout program with weights almost my whole life, mostly for toning not really for building. Yes it sounds like we are in the same boat, except you have not had the opportunity to marry. Personally I enjoyed being married, it was good for me, but I see some folks that should have never married, “just my opinion”. Problem with folks our age is, it’s hard to find a companion for coffee, supper, movies, “most” women at our age want a relationship; this is what I have found during my short travel as a widower.

One last thing, yes I do get lonely at times, but I am still happy, so I can tell you a person can be single and happy, because at one point in my life I would have told you a single person can’t be happy. I stay busy mentally and physically and will stay busy physically as long as God blesses me with the strength to. I really wished I had better advise to offer, but this is coming from someone that was married for 38 years, so I have not walked in the single shoes for to many miles to give much more advice. I agree with MJ, keep it in Prayer, it's the most we can do.


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Bill

 2014/4/22 10:06Profile
PaulWest
Member



Joined: 2006/6/28
Posts: 3405
Dallas, Texas

 Re:

Brother, although I am only 43 and have been married for 13 years, I can say with confidence that no man can really answer your question. Even Paul the Apostle, when pressed (as the Corinthian believers asked him the very question you are asking), had to admit he had no inspired directive from God. He could only give his own opinion on the matter. Now, if what you want is man's opinion, you've come to right place ;) If intimacy is primarily what you're after (be honest with yourself), then, yes, it would be wise to marry - scripturally speaking. But if you are looking for plutonic companionship, then Paul actually disadvises marriage. The reason is having a wife will ultimately become a burden to you - after the newness of the "honeymoon experience" dissapates. You've probably been single for far too long to handle this kind of transformation for the long haul. Marriage is not easy. It is the most difficult, trying, humbling, self-denying thing a person can encounter. Even if he/she is getting married for the "right" reason - it is no cakewalk. Which is why Paul advises against it unless you absolutely "must" (for sexual reasons).

John Wesley tried marriage in his later years, and it was mistake, bringing him much sorrow. George Whitefield tried it, and it was a mistake for him too. Success in marriage has nothing with godliness. Some men are simply better off staying single, if they can keep their passions in check. If you can't - get married. According to Paul's opinion in scripture, that would be the best reason for someone in your situation.

It's my uninspired opinion too, since you asked for it publically ;)


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Paul Frederick West

 2014/4/22 10:57Profile
havok20x
Member



Joined: 2008/9/14
Posts: 798


 Re:

Brother,

I have not lived as long as you have, since I am only 27. I have not married as of yet nor do I date around or anything like that. There are certain qualities, Biblical qualities, that I am looking for in myself and in my future wife (if the Lord is willing). That being said, I do look around and watch the women around my age and see how they act. I do not want to sound judgmental, but there are so few who strive to even remotely be what the scriptures say they ought to be.

You might not struggle with this, but I am not even ready to have a wife. If I got married today, I would be a far-cry from the husband that I need to be.

I pray for a wife often, but the Lord knows that I am willing to die a single man if 1) He isn't going to get any glory and it is not His will 2) by getting married I will yoke myself to someone who does not desire the Lord or 3) That some poor woman would be yoked to a man who has not prepared himself to be a husband.

 2014/4/22 11:04Profile
a-servant
Member



Joined: 2008/5/3
Posts: 435


 Re:

Hey Blaine,

let me give you the lowdown. At one point I was tired of chasing women. I just got fed up.
Then I prayed for some solitude resolution, l'll decided not going to chase them again. ever again.

My prayer was concise. Like 'please show me one of them YOU would like to give to me' outside
of my usual frequency of visits, which actually just been restaurants, night venues etc.

No surprise here, about one week later I did try a new wholesaler for my kind of items,
so I selected some italian style earrings and turned around, and boom there she was!

Yes she was working for that store back in the 90's, and someone said to me, dont leave
today before talking to her. Which was trouble to me, because i was such a shy guy
at the time, not for business, but for relationships.

And she was a fanatic Hindu at the time. I went with my faith, if you ask something from Jesus
He will not give you a frog.

It took years for her to realize that, but man, it was worth it. Today this girl brings more people to
Christ, than I do. Yeah, I give up, she's pure, she;'s honest, and we learn from each other,
every single day, now we're married for 16 years, and we truly love each other. more than in
the beginning. In the beginning:

all I had was faith.

and there is no way anyone can compromise that

 2014/4/22 13:32Profile
Solomon101
Member



Joined: 2008/4/1
Posts: 531
America's Heartand

 Re:

I am certainly not looking to "debate" the issue. However, here are just a couple of thoughts for consideration on the topic.

1. It was when Adam was in a perfect state of total communion with the Father that the Father also stated, "The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18 (NIV). Do you see that ... in a perfect state of unbroken communion with the Trinity ... no sin ... no distractions ... absolute perfect fellowship with the Father that the same Father stated it was not good for the man to not have a helpmate similar to him. I hear a lot of rhetoric stating that an unmarried person should take their communion with God to be sufficient. However, even in the unbroken state of innocence that Adam dwelt with the Father it does not appear that is true. God Himself seems to say otherwise.

2. Many folks seem to take Paul's admonition to not seek a wife as a directive for today. It has already been discussed that Paul himself stated this was his opinion ... not a word from the Lord. We also see in scripture that other apostles had spouses. The following verses were quoted often as a reason to not marry

Quote:
Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. 1 Cor 7:27-28 NIV



However, as always context REALLY makes a difference. If a person takes the previous verse they will see that Paul actually said that was a momentary thing for the extreme persecution they were under. If a person reads the previous verses they find Paul actually qualified that statement by saying
Quote:

25. Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26. BECAUSE OF THE PRESENT CRISIS, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is.



That is an entirely different proposition altogether. Due to the intense persecution of that moment at that place in history it was a better option ... it was in no way indicated that Paul's opinion in that specific situation was to be a perpetual option or even applied in other circumstances. We are in no such persecution in the West. The clear indication is that when that momentary severe persecution passed so would Paul's opinion of that matter. Now if I were in Syria or Iraq at the moment I would have to agree with Paul's idea. However, to force that interpretation to a culture that is in no way under that same situation is clearly a violation of the scriptures authors intent.

These two things -

1. God Himself said that Adam (a man) should not be alone even in the unbroken state of communion in the garden of Eden and needed a wife. Evidently God Himself did not feel He was sufficient to meet all of Adam's needs as it was not good to remain in that state. He said so Himself!

2. Paul's very narrow application of his opinion of refraining from marriage until the current severe persecution crisis had abated. He clearly indicates that unless a community is under that severe crisis persecution that marriage was a preferable state. His opinion has a very narrow application.

These two facts make it seem obvious to me that marriage is far preferable unless one is specifically called to life long celibacy. Unless a person can say beyond any shadow of a doubt that they have been called specifically by God to a lifetime of celibate servanthood then they should by all means marry. It is not good for them to be alone.

 2014/4/22 16:44Profile
MrBillPro
Member



Joined: 2005/2/24
Posts: 3283
Texas

 Re:

I guess we could spin this and ask, how on earth did you manage to get to be 62 years old and never married? You may be really blessed and not know it. One good way to find out just how blessed you have been is get married. Of course we all know that God has a plan for each of us , my guess is his plan for you was to be single, I bet he's used you and a lot of ways, that if you would have been married, you may not of been able to carry out. Yes, I would have to say that loneliness is one of the only things in my short single life, that I have yet to figure out how to overcome. Now of course we all know that happiness has to come within. I have never really had much money in my life, so I don't know personally if money can make a person happy/happier or not, my brother he did have money, and he use to always tell me, that money may not buy happiness, but it sure makes living in misery a whole lot easier.


_________________
Bill

 2014/4/22 19:33Profile
proudpapa
Member



Joined: 2012/5/13
Posts: 2936


 Re:

RE: ///It took years for her to realize that, but man, it was worth it. Today this girl brings more people to
Christ, than I do. Yeah, I give up, she's pure, she;'s honest, and we learn from each other,
every single day, now we're married for 16 years, and we truly love each other. more than in
the beginning. In the beginning:
all I had was faith.
and there is no way anyone can compromise that///

Wounderful Testimony !!

 2014/4/23 1:14Profile
proudpapa
Member



Joined: 2012/5/13
Posts: 2936


 

When I used to go to the Baptist Church I remember an attractive girl that as she was getting older did what few girls ever do, She went down to the alter and poured her heart out that God would send her a husband I mean just weeping and weeping. I seen God answer that Prayer quickly And she is happily married now.

Take your every care to prayer brother, I have been there.

 2014/4/23 1:49Profile





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