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paula4jc
Member



Joined: 2005/1/8
Posts: 132


 Urgent help!

My neighbor who is a very sweet Christian family is going to file for divorce. I meet with her tomorrow to make a first appeal to change her mind. They have 2 sweet children. I'm clueless what I am going to say. I pray that God gives me the right words and I'm going to search the bible for suitable verses. This is the first time God using me in such delicate matter.
Any suggestion will be greatly appreciated.


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Paula

 2005/3/18 17:17Profile
KingJimmy
Member



Joined: 2003/5/8
Posts: 4419
Charlotte, NC

 Re: Urgent help!

Christians don't get a divorce.


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Jimmy H

 2005/3/18 19:38Profile
Sentry
Member



Joined: 2004/2/5
Posts: 119
West Monroe, Louisiana

 Re: Urgent help!

Well, a marriage counselor I definitely am not.

But, I was separated from my wife, and on the way to a divorce. Now, we are back together, and more happy than ever, thanks to God.

My only suggestion, if it even applies to these folks, is GIVE IT TIME. Satan is so deceitful.

Lies like:
This marriage just can't work.
I don't love him/her anymore.
Someone else would understand.

A divorce is worse than a death in the family, I've heard it say. Think of how it will affect the kids.

All this and much more.

Oh yeah, and this one...WWJD

What Would Jesus Do?

I'll pray for them tonight.


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Mark

 2005/3/18 21:38Profile
paula4jc
Member



Joined: 2005/1/8
Posts: 132


 Re:

Quote:
KingJimmy

That was not a statement of love. Does that mean I shouldn't try to help? My responsibility is to preach Christ.



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Paula

 2005/3/18 21:53Profile
lastblast
Member



Joined: 2004/10/16
Posts: 528
Michigan

 Re:

Quote:
Does that mean I shouldn't try to help?



Absolutely Paula! Many people think they are taking the easy road, but as a Christian, if one chooses to divorce, there will be much heartache down the road. Preach the Word of God in love and let the Holy Spirit do a work of reconciliation. Blessings sister. In Him, Cindy


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Cindy

 2005/3/18 22:06Profile
Sentry
Member



Joined: 2004/2/5
Posts: 119
West Monroe, Louisiana

 Re:

Quote:

KingJimmy wrote:
Christians don't get a divorce.



Actually, they do, tons of them, even Pastors of Churches, huge churches.

But I know what you meant.

But they shouldn't, that's for sure.

I'm not sure how accurate it is, but I heard that the Christian divorce rate is higher than that of the Worlds.

It is truly a sad mess.


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Mark

 2005/3/18 23:42Profile
Matt25
Member



Joined: 2004/3/19
Posts: 69
Athens Ga

 Re: Urgent help!

If your friend does not want the divorce (ie, one sided) then you should encourage her to push her husband to seek counseling from a conservative CHRISTIAN marriage counselor. Obviously Jesus stated the only condition for divorce is infidelity but if they haven't gone that far then it has a good chance of working out. My parents went through this when i was younger (about 15 years ago) and I know that one had not been faithful to the other but they ended up staying together. It was hard for them but now they are happier than ever. I know many divorced people and none of them are content/happy. Most say in hindsight they wished they would've worked things out. It's tough because we're not in your friend's shoes. Marriage is both heaven and hell. It may be hard to make her realize that things can actually get better but I believe the most important thing you can do for her is to be a caring voice of reason. She may be getting advice from other friends who are divorced. You know misery loves company and I've heard the same miserable divorced people I know to encourage their married friends to go ahead and file for divorce if they aren't happy.

Ravi Zacharias [url=www.rzim.org]Ravi Zacharias Internation Ministries[/url] has made the very true statement that [b]if you will to love someone you can[/b]. In the beginning, love between a man and a woman may be completely physical and romantic (lust) which is the way God made us so we'd be "fruitful". But everyone knows that after the lust dies the commitment part steps in. This is where the [i]will[/i] to love the other person comes in. I'll pray that you are able to help your friend make the right decision and not the easy one.

Ravi's message [i]I Isaac, Take thee Rebekah[/i] is a very good sermon on love, marriage and commitment.
[url=http://resources.christianity.com/ministries/rzim/main/talkInfo.jhtml?id=21409&JServSessionIdroot=9lzzbhj2n1]I Isaac, Take thee Rebekah part 1[/url]
[url=http://resources.christianity.com/ministries/rzim/main/talkInfo.jhtml?id=21410&JServSessionIdroot=9lzzbhj2n1]I Isaac, Take thee Rebekah part 2[/url]


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Matt M.

 2005/3/19 0:17Profile
AgesofWar
Member



Joined: 2003/5/24
Posts: 138
Chicago IL USA

 Re: Urgent help!

paula4jc

If you would ask the Holy Spirit to give you the words to touch the folks getting a divorce, He will.

I and my Wife have just prayed for you, we were separated, I handed her divorce papers...
Yet be assured the prayers of a Loving Wife and of our Family brought me back to the saving knowledge of Christ.

So even though other may say it is useless rest assured that our GOD JESUS is more than able to take what the tyrant has stolen.

Isaiah 49:24-25
24 Thus says the LORD:
Can booty be taken from a warrior?
or captives be rescued from a tyrant?
25 Yes, captives can be taken from a warrior,
and booty be rescued from a tyrant;
Those who oppose you I will oppose,
and your sons I will save.

If you are to be used examine yourself and ask the Lord to speak through you. He will give you the words that will not fall to the Ground.

Don't give up, but be respectful and Loving and give the Word of the Lord with Love.


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Michael

 2005/3/19 1:10Profile
AgesofWar
Member



Joined: 2003/5/24
Posts: 138
Chicago IL USA

 Re: Urgent help!

Hi Paula,
This is Michael's wife, Era, writing this time.
You were looking for scripture, and I can only give you the words of Jesus himself:

“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery. Luke 16:18

Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that lwhoever divorces his wife for any reason except 3sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. Matthew 5:31

I pray this helps you.

PS: Thank you for trying to keep this couple together. But, PLEASE don't loose faith if things don't turn out the way you want them to right away. When my marriage was suffering, we had people praying for us everywhere, but I saw no immediate results. But, when I least expected, my husband "came back from the dead" to me. Please, have faith.


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Michael

 2005/3/19 1:18Profile
MarkDaniel
Member



Joined: 2005/2/20
Posts: 43
Midwest, USA

 Re:

Quote:
“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery. Luke 16:18

Quote:
Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that lwhoever divorces his wife for any reason except 3sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. Matthew 5:31



AMEN. And Paul also said this:

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

GOD'S WORD DOES NOT CHANGE despite what so many in the churches of America do with their marriages, divorces and adulteries today. I will be honest with you, don't expect most of the churches to contend for the marriage. You will find out most "pastors" and "Christians" today will encourage divorce and adultery right into their churches because they themselves are living in unrepentant adultery and rebellion.

Use THE BIBLE as a test of the spirit to see who is adhering to the words of Jesus, and not the devil's wicked ways. If you find a brother or sister who will help you CONTEND for the marriage, keep them CLOSE to you. They are a jewel.

Be encouraged and pray for a restoration that will result in a marriage that is 77 times stronger than before! TRUST IN THE LORD.

I agree with Jimmy. Christians who are true to the faith and FOLLOW Jesus' and put His words INTO PRACTICE as Jesus says below, will not divorce, except for sexual immorality or unfaithfulness. It's the ONLY REASON that Jesus gave permission to divorce. Period. End of story.

Luke 6:46-49 The Wise and Foolish Builders

“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.”


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Mark Daniel

 2005/3/19 10:01Profile





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