The 3rd of 11 messages on The Godly Home
video sermon on same subject: https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/myvideo/photo.php?lid=2905
Lets all kneel together for prayer. Our Father we come to you in the name of Jesus tonight. We thank you Lord that youve put within us those kind of desires. Lord, were the people of God. Were your people. Were different. People dont understand us. But oh, our Father, weve committed our lives into your hands, and weve committed our hearts to you God. We shall follow you. We shall walk with you. We shall obey your commandments. Though many will not understand us God, it doesnt matter to us. We come to you tonight in Jesus name, and Lord I pray that you will meet with us tonight. I pray, oh Father, for the sweet presence of your Spirit to be with us tonight. I pray Lord, that you will illuminate the eyes of our understanding. God I pray that you will make your Word alive to each one of our hearts tonight. God I pray that youll change us, and I pray Lord, that youll change our homes by the message this evening. Lord, may we not be the same after we leave this place tonight. Lord, we ask it in the name of thy son, the Lord Jesus with thanksgiving, Amen.
We greet each one in the name of the Lord Jesus. Were going to change the direction this evening, the direction of the messages; and were going to speak about disciplining children tonight. My goal for this evenings message is to convince you that using the rod is one of the most loving things that you can do for your children. I found one of these downstairs theres a couple of them down there, and I found one; that Id like to just use it every now and then through the message. But I would like to convince you this evening, that using this rod, this paddle, whatever you want to call it, is one of the most loving things that you can do for your children and with your children. Id also like to convince you thats its a sin if you dont. God doesnt leave it as just an option for some to choose and some not to choose; but Id like to convince you that its a sin if you dont.
My mind goes back to a time when I had a couple in my home who did not believe in spanking their children. It was very interesting to sit and visit with them and watch their children. Their children were just like everybody elses children and they were unruly and they were moving this way and running over here, and going this direction
I kept watching the parents and they kept gently pleading with the children to be good and sit still and the children would get up and move again. Then theyd go over and say, Please Johnny, would you please calm down
This happened all evening long as I sat there and visited with them, and of course they already told me that, They dont believe in spanking their children. They believe there are other ways they can motivate their children to be good. And this was a little bit the discussion that we had had earlier, and I was watching all of this. Its very interesting to me, that about, I think about three years after that little meeting in our home, somebody else gave them a set of the Home Tapes and they listened to them, and when they came to this tape, they listened to it with an open heart, took an evaluation of their children, and realized theyd made a great big mistake by not chastening their children. And the father picked up a rod, and he said, His home will never be the same.
Well thats what Id like to do this evening. I realize that when I hold this up here that a lot of you have different feelings about it, and maybe your father and your mother used it in a wrong way on you, and because of that, you dont have very good ideas about it. Well I hope this evening by Gods grace, to change your mind, so that you dont view this as some mean thing that I have in my hand tonight, but rather you see it as one of the loving ways that God has ordained that you train your children up to be godly, and a godly testimony upon this earth.
I want to say this also: We use this at our house. We use it often at our house. It gets used more on the younger ones than the older ones. But we use it often at our house, and my children love me. They love me very much. They honor me. In fact, they honor me and love me more than I deserve. I find myself many times sitting down in my house, and just weeping over the honor and the love that my children give to me.
I believe that the using of this rod is one of the reasons why my children love me and honor me so much. Because I use this rod. And I want to convince you this evening, of the benefit of using it to train and guide your children.
This may surprise you, but many times after we use the rod in our house, the children will come to us and say, Papa, thank you. Thank you for spanking me. I needed that. That may surprise you. But little Samuel, he gives this testimony, and he says it all the time around the house, I dont enjoy the spankings, but I sure do like the feeling that I get in my heart after one.
Were going to learn why this evening, why, the children can come and say thank you after theyve received a spanking. And if I could just say a few words to the children in this room this evening: I prayed for you today. All you children that are here, I prayed for you today that you wont despise me this evening. And thats a prayer that I pray almost every time that I spank my own children. That my children would not despise me, but rather, that they would love me. I claim the promise in the Word of God, that the children would not despise me, but love me after I spank them. And I prayed for all you children; that you would not despise me. Im not your enemy tonight, Im your friend! Even though Im going to do everything that I know by Gods grace to convince your parents to use something like this on your bottom. Im your friend, and this is your friend. You may not understand that now, but you will understand it someday. Youll know what a blessed paddle this is up here. This ones broken, by the way. Someone glued it, but its broken already. Im not concerned about that, especially this one, its only made out of pine. But its not so bad if you have a paddle like this and break it. Now if you have an oak one, Id be concerned about that. This is just a thin, Pine paddle. I dont think you ought to be so worried if you break a thin, Pine paddle on the behind of your children.
The devil has lied to us. He has lied to us. We have swallowed the philosophies of the world that tell us that this is a negative form of discipline. Its not a negative form of discipline; its one of the most positive forms of discipline you can use. Now there are others, but this is a positive form of discipline. And if in your mind, even now, while you sit here, youre thinking those kind of thoughts, you know, Oh thats terrible
and How can he stand up there and hold that thing so boldly like that? If Im making you feel uncomfortable, Id say you swallowed some of the philosophies of the world, and you ought to acknowledge it already in your heart and say, God, maybe I havent looked at this right. Would you just teach me tonight? Open up your heart! This is not some mean thing. This is a loving stick that I have in my hand up here. The devil has lied to us.
This rod will bring order, where theres chaos. Itll bring peace, where theres turmoil. Itll bring freedom, where theres in your childrens lives. Itll bring zeal, where theres apathy in their lives. Many people, many people react to the spanking of the children. In fact, its getting more and more that way in America, that it seems if things keep going in the direction that theyre going, well see the day when it will be against the law to pick up a stick like this and spank your child. There are countries in the world where it is already against the law. And there are countries in the world where Christians will not spank their children, because theyll be thrown in jail if anybody finds out about it, and theyll lose their children if anybody finds out about it.
A lot of people react to the spanking of the children. The world says, Its cruelty. Its suppression. The child will hate you. It will cause rebellion in their hearts. But nothing could be further from the truth. Those who withhold the rod are the ones whose children put them in the rest homes. Did you ever think about that? The rest homes are just full and running over today. Who puts their father and mother in the rest homes? But the children who never had the rod used on them. Thats an interesting observation.
The using of the rod goes against your natural love. If youre here this evening, and your poor heart says, Oh, I could never spank my children. You are a victim of natural love. And natural love is okay. I think we need to love our children. I think we need to be filled with love when we see them running to us. But if that natural love stops us from disciplining them with a rod, then that natural love needs to be crucified and replaced with spiritual love, which is agape love, which is God-like love, which is love that loves by principle, and not by feeling. Thats what were speaking about this evening - disciplining the children, a love that loves by principle and not be feeling.
Now the Holy Spirit inspired some very powerful words on the use of the rod. The Bible says that the rod will give wisdom unto your children. The Bible says that the rod will cleanse away evil from your children. The Bible says that the rod is an expression of love. The Bible says that the rod will clear the conscience of your child. The Bible says that the rod will keep your child from going to hell. Thats what the Bible says. The Bible says that it will give calm and order into your childs life. So lets look into some of these verses this evening.
Were going to be in the book of Proverbs, as we talk about the disciplining of children. And well start in Proverbs chapter 13, and just go down through the book of Proverbs. Proverbs 13:24. Now in my Bible, I have a few words circled, then I have a little definition by the words that I have circled. I would encourage you to do that if you feel free in your heart. Reading Proverbs 13:24. He that spareth his rod, hateth his son. But he that loveth him, chasteneth him betimes. Now in this verse we want to look at a few words. The first word we want to look at is spareth. That word spareth means, hold back. He that holds back the rod, hateth his son. That word spare doesnt mean that you never use the rod; it means you hold back the rod. You wont use it like you should. It doesnt mean you never use the rod. We know what the word spare means. He that soweth sparingly reaps sparingly. It just simply means, He who holds back the rod, and doesnt use it like they should, hateth his son.
Now the next word we want to look at is the word hateth. The Hebrew word picture for the word hateth is one who is standing and facing the enemy. The Hebrew word picture for the word hateth there is like one who is standing and ready to fight against the enemy. If you can get that picture in your mind. So look at it again. He that spareth the rod, that holds back the use of the rod, is hating his child. He that holds back the use of the rod, is giving forth a spirit of hatred to the child. Thats something Id like to convince you of this evening. But he that loveth him
Now that word loveth, heres the picture for the wordloveth. Just like this: A couple minutes ago I walked out of the prayer room downstairs, and little Hannah saw Papa, and she took off running across the room down there, and I got down on my knees so that I could hug her, and she ran right up to me and I put my arms out, and we just had a good old hug down there in the basement. Thats what the word loveth means. Arms out like this, reaching out to the child, and loving them.
He that spareth the rod, gives forth a spirit of hatred to the child. But he that chaseneth with the rod, gives forth a spirit of love to the child. Thats what this verse is saying! And then the last word that I want to look at is the word, betimes. Are you ready for this children? Betimes means, over and over and over and over again. Some say it means over and over again. Some say it means early in life. Ill take either one of those. He who spareth the rod, gives forth a spirit of hatred to the child. But he that chaseneth the child, gives forth a spirit of love. And God says you need to do it over and over and over again. Thats what this verse is saying!
Now Id like you to think on this for a moment. Everyone of us know, maybe you know somebody like this that is married, but yet theyre divorced in heart for many years. Father lives in the home, mother lives in the home, and they know that they cannot separate, though they are at odds with each other and they live that way for many years. Theyre married, yet theyre divorced in their heart. What a miserable way to be married, amen? To dwell together in the same house and yet be divorced in your heart. You are missing heaven on earth if you live that way. But this verse right here is speaking about just as shocking a relationship between parent and children.
The Bible says, a child that is without chastisement is a ! Or its a child who does not have a father! And if your children are without the proper chastisement, they are missing some of the sweetest experiences of their life! And by the way, so are you! If your natural heart tonight says, But I just couldnt spank my children. You are missing some of the sweetest experiences of your life. Youre missing them. And a child that is not disciplined is missing the fullness of a love relationship between father, mother and child. Maybe youve heard this said before: I was never close to my father. How many of you have ever heard that before? I was never close to my father. I wonder. Im sure there are many reasons for that, but I wonder if any of them would have to do with this right here. I was never close to my father. My children are so close to me, when we have a spanking, I mean, it just takes that heart and my heart and just goes like this (hearts meshed together). Its one of the closest heart-knitting things you can do. I was just never close to my father. By the way, I was never close to my father. And my father never spanked me. Not one time. My mother did the spanking, and I was never close to my father.
Remember tonight, Gods ways are not our ways. Gods ways are very different than mans ways. Here I am standing up here and telling you an awesome paradox, that doesnt make any sense to the natural mind. Just like the Bible says, the way up is down, the Bible says, the way to a close relationship is to use a rod! How can that be? Well, Gods ways are not like mans ways. They are not. If you want a close relationship with your children, use the rod! By the way, I plan to qualify that through the evening, because I realize that some of you in this room, your parents did use this rod, but they didnt use it right. Many of you were spanked in anger; many of you were just plain beaten. Many of you were driven and chased out of the house with a stick, and Im not talking about any of that. That is not Bible chastisement. But were going to take a look at Bible chastisement. And maybe tonight, maybe just tonight, your attitude towards the rod is wrong because of your past experiences. Oh, open up your heart, I just plead with you to open your heart, let God show you there is a better way.
Many times we over-react to our childhood experiences and our children suffer for it. Lets go on then to Proverbs 19:18. Proverbs 19:18 reads like this: Chasten thy son, while there is hope. And let not thy soul spare for his crying Now in this verse wed like to look at two things. First of all, the little phrase that says, While there is hope. That very phrase signifies to us that there will be a time that there will be no hope anymore! Chasten thy son while there is hope
Because there will come a day when it wont work anymore! There will come a day, when it wont have the same effect anymore! There will come a day when you will not be able to have an influence upon your child with the rod. So God is using this verse as a motivational verse to us. Spank your children while they are pliable! Spank them while theyre bendable! Spank them while theyre moldable! Because the day is going to come when you will not be able to mold them anymore! And its a motivational verse to us. There will come a day when you will not be able to mold your children with the rod anymore and youll have to then say, God, Ive done all I can do, now you take over. And then God can spank them. And God will do a real good job of it. But the admonition to us this evening is, You do it while theres hope, while theres opportunity, while theyre pliable, you do it.
And then the last part of the verse; and God put this in there I believe because God knows what were made of, everyone of us flesh. Were made out of flesh and God knows that we have natural love for our children. And its not wrong to have natural love! So God puts this in there. Let not thy soul spare for his crying. We all know what that feeling is like, dont we? If youve ever spanked your child, you know what goes on inside. I dont want to keep going. I hear my child crying, and I want to hold back. And I believe God breathed this little part of the verse out there for everyone of us, to just kind of come along behind us, and shore us up, and say, And by the way, dont hold back because the child starts crying. Children are pretty smart. They know if they let out a wail that sounds like theyre about to die, that youll let up before youre suppose to. How many of you children know that, let me see your hands. What? None of you? Children know that. But parents dont do it. Dont spare because the child cries. Just because the child starts to cry, does not mean the job is done. Sounds pretty mean, doesnt it? But its not.
Lets move on to Proverbs 20:30. The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil. So do stripes, the inward parts of the belly. Gods method for clearing the conscience of your children, here it is. Here we see it right before us. Id like to ask you this question. I think most of us that are in this room, know the sweet experience of responding at a revival meeting, and going to the altar and breaking our hearts before God and getting all the sin out and confessing it to God, and having our heart washed away by the blood of Jesus. And oh, the brokenness thats there. And oh, the sweetness that is upon our heart after weve had a revival meeting like that. We all know the joy and the blessing the yieldednes, the obedience that it wrought in our lives. Well brothers and sisters, this is Gods method for producing the same thing in your children. You see, our children dont understand all the things that we know. They dont understand about the blood yet. They dont understand about yielding their will yet. They dont understand everything about God. They cant hit the mourners bench and have an old-fashioned revival meeting in their life, they cant do that! But this is Gods method of producing the same kind of spirit in them, that we get when we hit the mourners bench at a revival meeting. This is Gods method! Help them have a revival! Some of your children need a revival! This is how they get it! And youre the one that God wants to use to help them to have a revival!
Do you know something? I can spend about five minutes with most children and tell you within five minutes whether or not theyre being spanked properly. I can do that. Its very simple. A child thats being spanked properly will have had its conscience cleared. And a child that has a clear conscience has a clear countenance. Many people will say, I heard it said many times of our own children. Your childrens countenances are so bright! And I thought, Yes, they sure are (holding the rod to explain why). I can tell whether a child is being disciplined properly! By their countenance. A child who is being disciplined properly has had their conscience clear. Their heart is broken. Their will is yielded. Theyre obedient to their parents and their countenance is clear! Theres another way I can tell a child that is being disciplined properly responds properly to other authorities. I can spot it just like that. Its very simple. And you say, Now wait a minute. How can you be so sure of that? Well, you ladies you ever walk out into somebodys garden and spot, and know it just like that (snap of finger) what this person needs to do to take care of this plant or that plant? You ever do that before? You can walk into somebodys garden on a Sunday afternoon and give them 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 things they could do in their garden if you see the thing out of order. How come? Because you know the principles of gardening!
You see, God wants us to learn the principles of training children! And once we learn them, if we become a student of training our children, well learn the principles, theyll be just as simple and just as easy as if you walked out in the garden and saw, Well those tomato plants dont look very good. This is what they need! You do this and you do this and you do that and theyll be standing tall in a week. We can do that in the garden and God wants us to learn the principles of training our children so that we can also spot a need in their lives very quickly.
GODS PRINCIPLES WORK! They work very well! Ive often thought, as Ive seen parents struggling with their children, Ive often thought, I wish I could just take that child home for about a week. Because to me, its as simple as going out in that garden and finding the problems that are there. And I often think those thoughts, Oh, I wish I could just take that child home for a week.
Many years ago, I guess, twelve years ago now, when I was working on the bus route in Chicago, Illinois, I worked on the bus route and picked up the little ghetto children. There was one lady on my bus route, she had four children. She was not a good mother, she had no husband, she never did have a husband, but she had four children. She was a neglectful mother and her children were very wild. She had twin boys, four years old, and they were two little wild Indians. One Saturday when I was up there visiting on the bus route the mother came to the door in total frustration and she said, Get them out of my life. Take them. If you cant do something with them, Im going to get rid of them. I cant take them anymore. Thats what she said. It was during the holidays at Bible school, and I knew Id be home all week long so I told her Id come back and pick them up when I get done visiting the rest of the children. And I pulled in there and I picked up those two little twin boys, four years old, and brought them home to my house. And for two days, I followed them everywhere they went around the house. Giving them guidance, giving them an admonition, and when I saw a willful breakout of disobedience, I just took them into the other room and I got out the rod and I used it on them. And I did it in a right way. And then we came back out into the living room and went about our day and I just kept following them around and after two days, those two little fellows had figured it all out in their mind. They knew where the lines were, they knew how they were supposed to behave, and they knew that I loved them. They knew, I was Mr. Denny to them. Id been picking them up on the Sunday school bus for months and months and months before this happened. I was the closest thing to daddy to those two little boys. But after two days, things started falling right into place. And by the end of the week, those two little fellows would sit up at the supper table and eat with a spoon instead of with their hands. They would say please and thank you when they wanted something. They ate their food all gone when we sat them down at the table. And they were good little boys. And after a week I brought them back and gave them to the mother and went on my way and visited the children. And then a whole other week went by and I came by and knocked at the door there, and mother came to the door there and said, What did you do to my two boys? I cant believe it! Theyre so good! Their nice little boys, what did you do to them? I mean, shed been beating them since they were four years old! Slapping them in the face, chasing them out of the house, beating on them and yelling at them and all those things, but she didnt get any of that. But one week of loving discipline with the rod and those two little boys were good little boys. I could have adopted them and made them my own, they would have been good boys. And others have given me testimonies just like that of similar experiences of problem children that they brought into their home and they just simply applied the good old garden rules of raising children, and they got the good old garden results! It works!
Your children are not different then everybody elses children. You dont have a special problem. No you dont! Now I recognize there may be a very few that do have a special problem. In these years since Ive been preaching on the home, a lot of questions have come my way, and thereve been a few of them that I just couldnt answer. But for the most part, its just simply obeying the simple garden rules of raising children.
Now I want to explain to you this evening how we spank our children. It takes between 15-20 minutes to spank the children. And you may say on that one, 15 minutes! I dont have time! Whose got 15 minutes? Well, if you do it right when youll do it, you may not have to do it as much! I agree! If you have to do it 10 times a day, 15 minutes times 10 is a long time! But if youll do it right, when you do it, and do a thorough job and do it right, you wont have to do it so many times. We never spank the children in anger. NEVER, NEVER NEVER! And if you have a problem with anger, and spanking your children, I suggest you send them to a room and wait for thirty minutes until youre completely calmed down. You will absolutely make the whole thing worse than what it was before if you walk into that room in a spirit of anger, ready to reel out punishment on that child. If you do it in a spirit of anger, I believe that youre missing the whole concept of chastisement. Chastisement is not punishment! Its correction for future conduct! Theres a big difference. If its punishment, then here you go into the room; fire in your eyes, paddle in your hand and foam coming out your mouth, and Youre going to get it now young man! If you do it that way, then you are missing the whole concept of chastisement. Chastisement is for future! Its for correcting future conduct! Not punishment for past deeds. Theres a big difference.
By the way, your children are sinners. And they are going to fail. Plan on it! Heres how I look at it: Every time my children fail, transgress my law; I just look at it as another opportunity to correct their future conduct! I expect them to fail. Theyre going to fail! Thats how theyre going to learn! By their failures, by their transgressions, by their disobediences to our laws, are they going to learn godly character. Number one, you need to expect that theyre going to fail. I think many times we get angry at our children because they failed, and theyre not supposed to fail! Theyre my children! Thats wrong! Thats motivated by pride in your own heart! Its pride! My children arent supposed to do that! And if they did something wrong, then theyre going to get it for it! Its all wrong! The motivation is wrong! The heart attitude is wrong! Completely wrong. Theyre going to fail plan on it! Plan on it so well that you know what youre going to do, the next time they do! And look forward to it! In fact, Ive done this many times. Ive seen a child and known, you know, this child is just off. You know how it is. Theyre off, they havent done anything yet that warrants a spanking, but you know theyre off. You know that theres something not right in the heart and you know that its not long that theyre going to do something wrong. Well, when I see a child like that, I just sit back and wait. Okay. It wont be long and Im going to have an opportunity to take care of this child. Thats not mean! Thats being loving!
And let me say this, before I go through this. Spank your children, the way that God spanks you. If we could just grab a hold of that, and meditate upon it, you wouldnt need anybody to teach you how to spank your children. Spank them the way that God spanks you! How does He spank you? Does he grab you by the scruff of the neck? And holler at you? And tell you how wrong you were? Is that how God spanks you? Then dont spank your children that way! We know how God spanks us. He very lovingly and calmly reveals to us a need in our life and picks us up in the comforting hands of His presence and spanks us. And when Hes done, He very lovingly puts us back in His arms again and tells us how much He loves us, You are my child. I want you to do right. I want you to go the right way. I have eternity in mind. I love you my son. And He sends us on our way. If you could just get that picture in your mind, and then turn around, and then reproduce the same thing when its time to spank your children, youve got it. Thats it!
So, heres how we spank our children. When the child transgresses one of our laws, we very calmly inform them that they have transgressed our laws and theyre going to get a spanking. We do not raise our voice. Raising your voice doesnt do a thing for you. In fact most parents raise their voice because theyre not using the rod. And they think that theyll get authority out of it. You dont get any authority by raising your voice. You know how it is you give the correction. Then the second time you see it, you raise your voice a little bit more and you give the correction again, hoping that that will take care of it. Then the third time you see the same thing happening again, you raise your voice just a little bit higher, then finally by the fourth time, when you should have spanked them on the second time, you say, THATS IT! YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM! And the whole spirit of that thing is frustration, because you neglected what you should have done, two corrections before!
Oh how well you can establish your authority if after you correct one time you back that thing up with a calm informing of the child, You have done wrong. Ive corrected you once. Go to your room, youre going to have a spanking. Thats what we do; send them to the room, they go there, sit down and wait. We go to the wall, and get the rod off of the wall, and go and pick up the Bible on the way, and we go to the room. With these two. When you walk into the room, the child is already crying, because they dont like spankings. And I know you children dont like spankings they hurt! And there is the child crying. And we just sit down together, and we just cry a little bit together. The child is crying, Papas crying, mamas crying. And what Ill usually do is Ill just kind of put my arms out like this, and the child will come and sit on my lap, and I hold them. Ive heard people say before, Dont you give your children any comfort when their supposed to get punished. Thats so wrong! Its so punish oriented. Its so judgment oriented. I think they probably see God that way too. Heres God up in heaven waiting for you to do something wrong. How many of you have felt that way about God before? Hes up in heaven just waiting for you to do something wrong, and when you get up; Hes going to let you have it. Well if you feel that way, thats probably how you deal with your children. But God is not up in heaven with a stick waiting for you to do something wrong, and then Hes going to let you have it.
So I just put my arms out and of course that child you know, theyre afraid theyre going to get a spanking, they know its going to hurt, theyre trembling already, and I just put my arms out and theyll very gladly jump up in your lap. And I just hold them for a couple minutes and love them and tell them I love them, and tell them Im sorry I have to give you a spanking but you know youve got to have a spanking. Papa loves you and Im not mad, Ill assure them Im not mad at you. So well do that for a couple minutes. Then its a time of instruction. A time of instruction for two things. Number 1: We take the opportunity to instruct the child very clearly so that the child knows exactly why theyre going to get a spanking. And sometimes that takes longer than others. In fact, and this will tickle all of you, it takes a little longer when they get a little bit older, because they get a little bit wiser and they think that they can talk their way out of it. So sometimes it takes a little bit longer to clearly show that child why theyre in there, how they transgressed, why theyre going to get the spanking. But we clearly instruct their little heart, as to why theyre in there. Then we also take the opportunity to just get the Bible in the hand and say, Now you know what the Bible says were supposed to do? The Bible says were supposed to spank you. Maybe Ill read them a verse, or maybe Ill quote them a verse out of the Bible. See the two go together just like this
(The Bible, and the rod of correction). Im not some mean man sitting there in the room, ready to spank my child. Im a godly father who believes the Bible and I have all of heaven on my side when I go in there to spank my child.
So we use it as a time of instruction, for what theyve done wrong, and also, the principle of spanking. Thats how you get your children to thank you afterwards, when you enlighten their heart and they understand the blessing of getting a spanking. Hannah is almost 3 and she doesnt thank me yet for her spankings, shes not quite sure about that. She cant quite figure that out when Samuel will come back and say, thank you Papa, for giving me a spanking. She hasnt come to that place yet.
Okay. After we have a time of instruction, then its time for the spanking. And well have the child lay over the bed, or lay over the chair; depending on what room theyre in. And the child must lay still and take the spanking. We dont let the children jump all over the room. If youre chasing your children all over the room to give them a spanking, may the Lord deliver you from that this week. That is out of order. That child is not getting anything out of that spanking if theyre running around the room and youre chasing them. Have you ever had to do that? And youre chasing them around and they get hit on the leg, and sometimes on the bottom and sometimes they get hit on their hands, and oh, all kinds of terrible things go wrong when you try to spank them that way. No! They must lay still and get their spanking. And they do! And if they dont, they just get another one on top of the other one, and it doesnt take very long for the children to all of a sudden develop a determination to hold still when they get their spanking. Because nobody wants another one! Nobody! So we make them hold still. So weve got them laying over the bed, and weve reminded them that they must hold still while they get their spanking, and then its time to give them a spanking and when its time to give them a spanking, they get one. They get a thorough spanking. Someone said, Do you tell your children how many swats their going to get? You dont spank them by swats, you spank them until you sense that their will has broken! When you sense their will has broken up. Do you know what happens if you say, Okay, youre going to get 10
Then they say, Okay, Im holding on. You say, Im going to spank you until I feel like youve had enough, and your heart is broken and yielded. Thats going to cause them to say, Okay, Im going to yield my heart. Im going to give into this spanking. Im going to let it happen. Im going to let it do its work in me, so that it will get done sooner. See the difference? Its a different mentality there, isnt there? So when we give them a spanking, we give them one, and it hurts. And some of you parents, I would just encourage you, maybe you spank through pampers and things like that, your children That isnt doing anything. Thats not doing anything. Now if youve got a little baby, I can see that. But if youve got a one year old, one and a half, two years old, thats just bouncing off the pamper, thats not doing them any good at all. Its supposed to hurt! Its supposed to be a shock to their system! Its supposed to drive the evil right out of their heart! Thats what it said back there in that verse we just read. Its supposed to hurt!
Then when we get done, I fall on my knees next to the child. And we cry together some more. And I pray and then the child prays. Then I pray, Oh God, I pray for my son, I pray oh God, that youll help him to know I love him very much. Oh God, I pray that youll help him to know that Im very proud of him, that he makes me so happy, almost all of the time, but he just needed a spanking
And I claim the promise, right there while were on our knees together, Lord you said to spank them, Im believing in you that they will not despise me, because Ive spanked them, in Jesus name. Amen. We finish our prayer, then we get up and I usually hold them on my knee again. Give them a hug, tell them I love them, get a Kleenex, help them to wipe their eyes, blow their nose, and then we have a little instruction again. And we just go over it again. Now do you realize why we were in here? Do you realize what you did wrong? Do you realize why papa had to give you this spanking? Then sometimes we have a little song. A lot of times we sing, Everythings alright, in my Fathers house. And theyre just a crying away while we sing the song. Then a little later on, the child usually comes back and says, Papa, thank you. Thank you for spanking me. And were friends all the rest of the day. Good buddies, good friends. Close companions. Ive never seen a spanking done right, drive my child away. Ive heard parents say that, when I finish spanking my child, they just go in the corner of the room and they look at me like this and they dont want to be around me. Ive never seen that one time. Ive always had my children like this (one in heart) after weve done a spanking the right way. They want to be close to me. They love me! They know that I love them!
Just a couple weeks ago, Hannah had her lesson on hitting. We dont hit in our house. I mean, its the law of the Medes and the Persians. We do not hit in our house. You know how all little children are? They all will do it. Walk up and (slap). And maybe you snickered when they did it the first time, and snickered when they did it the second time, but after they started doing it a little, it wasnt very funny anymore. Well at our house, the first time we see it, we go after it. And Hannah, lifted up her hand about two weeks ago and hit Samuel. Because he was doing something she didnt like. Shes a sinner! Shes just lifted her hand up and hit him! And she was given a correction about it. And then two days later, she did it again. That was it. Its time to have the lesson on hitting for Hannah. And we just took her into the study there, and we had a nice, we just went through all these things that I just talked about, had a nice little talk with her, we cried, I gave her a spanking; oh she begged me to stop spanking and I just kept right on spanking until I felt she was completely broken. And she is completely cured of hitting. I dont think well see it again. Honestly, I dont think well see it again. You know what she says about three or four times a day now? Shell come up to papa or momma and say, Papa, Samuel did something that I didnt like, and I didnt hit him. Thats what shell say, three or four times a day! I dont hit Samuel. We dont hit with our hands. Big ol wide eyes you know
That lesson is done! Isnt that a wonderful lesson?
Turn to Proverbs 22 in verse 15. Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. A couple words we want to look at here: The first one is foolishness. How many of you have seen foolishness in your children, let me see your hands. Oh, good, were well enlightened to that word right there. Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child
. That word foolishness heres the word picture of that word foolishness: Its an uncontrolled spiral. The best way to describe it to me, the way that I found to describe it is an uncontrolled spirit. You know these little springs that they have
you fold them up and put them in a box, and then you give it to somebody for a joke, and when they open up the box the spring goes out in every direction? Thats a good illustration of what foolishness is all about - just an uncontrolled spirit doing this and doing that and going here and going there and doing this and saying that. Just out of control. Well the Bible says that that uncontrolled spirit, is bound in the heart of a child.
And the next word we want to look at is the word, bound. And the best way to describe that is if we just get somebody and stand them up here tonight and get a rope and go around them, and around them and around them and around them, and then get two men to hold on to each side of that rope and tell him, Go ahead and get away
I say, I cant get away! Why not? Im bound! Bound, like Samson was bound, after he had his hair cut off. He couldnt get away. They bound him, and they poked out his eyes, because he was bound. Well the Bible says that foolishness is bound in the heart of your children! The desire to do wrong is bound in the heart of your children. You can yell at it, and it wont go away. You can stand it in the corner, and foolishness will not leave. You can talk nice to it, and foolishness will not leave. You can give foolishness reward! And it will not leave your child. You can slap foolishness on the hand, and it will not leave your child. You can take foolishness and shake him real good, and give him a good ol talking to! And foolishness will not leave. Foolishness is bound in your child! And the Bible gives us a clear way to get rid of it. And look at the words that God says!
The rod of correction shall drive it FAR from him! Way away from him! The rod of correction is Gods ordained way to drive foolishness out of your children. And we all know the experience! We all know what its like. We all know that one time or that two times, or we know those times when we spank that child, and we spank them right, and they had a good spanking, and what were they like when you got done? Peaceful, content, they shared their toys, they were kind, they spoke nice to momma
they were just a good little boy or a good little girl the rest of the day! Why? Because you drove that foolishness far away from them.
I just plead with you tonight. Do your children a favor, and drive that foolishness out of their hearts. Its not right for you to leave it there. God never intended for your children to live with all those things on them! See this is what happens: A child does something wrong, that they know is wrong, and their conscience gets guilty. But nobody saw them do it. So then, with that guilty conscience, they do something else wrong, and the conscience gets more guilty, and more guilty, and more guilty. Its not right to leave them like that. You know, to me, its a terrible injustice. Its a terrible unloving thing, to let your child go around for days needing a spanking. Their frustrated and theyre discontent, and they cant seem to be happy with anything, and you know it
you know how it is. Youve got children, you know how they are! Its not right to do that. Thats why I say, when I sense something is just not quite right with the child, Ill just sit back and wait. It wont be long, and Ill have a reason to take care of the need that is down inside the heart. And see again, Im not just spanking for the thing they did wrong, I see the need down inside that heart! This child has got that foolishness bound in there again, and I need to drive it out, and Im going to watch for a good excuse to give them a good spanking. And it wont take long when theyre that way. When that old conscience of theirs is all guilty and theyre discontent and theyre frustrated and theyre doing this and doing that. They seem to be out of order in everything
it doesnt take long. Theyre going to do something thats worthy of a spanking, and then you can just take them into that room, and set them at rest! Let them have a good day! Let them have a happy day! God meant for the children to be happy! Clear, bright, cheerful, content. Heres how you do it - (example of the rod).
Now, I want to readily agree, there are other forms of discipline besides this rod. And we use them. I mentioned some here. Standing in the corner we use that some at our house. Just as a gentle reproof and a warning, Correct your ways here and youll be alright. Dont and youre going to find yourself with worse discipline. You can stand them in the corner. You can encourage them when theyre doing right! You can encourage them to do right, when theyre doing right. Sometimes we give rewards to the children if theyve done a good task. Sometimes if its a smaller child we will spank the hand. With a real little child you can break their will by spanking their hand, just one time. One or two swats on the hand, good and smartly, and that child will just break and cry everythings taken care of.
So there are other forms of discipline. But when you have a child, and you can see that that foolishness is bound up in there, and that old conscience needs to be clear, this is the only way that I know that you can do it. And its not right to put it off. Its not right. Its unloving. You think about it. If all through your life, while your children are growing up, you hold back the rod; all youre saying silently is, I dont love you, I dont love you, I dont love you, I dont love you, I dont love you. That is what the verse is saying. If you spare the rod you hate your child. Youre hating them! But you think you love them. But youre hating them.
The old saying goes, Spare the rod and spoil the child. Do you know what that word spoil means? It means to make them rotten. Make them, ineffective. Make them so theyre no use. Make them so they are like garbage and have no value. Spare the rod, go ahead; and spoil the child. Thats what it means!
All right, lets move on to Proverbs 23, just over the page a little. Proverbs 23:13-14: Withhold not correction from the child. Isnt that interesting? God just keeps saying it again and again and again. Hes convincing us. Hes reaffirming His Word to us. Withhold not correction from the child. For if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Now thats an interesting verse! That God breathed out by His Spirit. If thou beatest him with the rod, he wont die
He may sound like hes going to die, the way he hollers! But he will not die, if you spank them good and smart, they wont die! But look at the next verse, Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Now that is a very sobering verse to me. What that tells me is this: You hold back too much on this rod; you spare this rod too much; you have your little emotional, natural love too much, and theyll go to hell over it. And thats no little thing. Oh my poor little child, I could just never spank him. Yeah well theyll probably go to hell too. It makes your natural, emotional love look pretty weak, doesnt it, in light of that?
You say now, How can that be? A child that is not spanked will go to hell? Well, let me ask you this: What is mans part in salvation? Is it not the yielding of his will to the God of Heaven? Thats mans part in salvation! That is the core of salvation on the part of a man, of a human being a man or a woman! No yielding your heart to God, No salvation! No continual yielding your heart to God, No continual walking in the grace of salvation! And the use of the rod breaks the will and brings it into subjection. And a child who has had their will broken, and broken and broken, and broken; someday when God says, My son, daughter, follow Me! Theyll say, Yes Lord, I will follow you! But a child who has not had their will broken, has a rebellious heart! And a rebellious will! And when God says, My child follow me! Give me everything! Yield it all up to me! Theyll say, Im not going to do that. Im going to do what I want to do
And go to hell over it. And some of us in this room, we know, dont we? I mean, I know! I didnt get spanked very much when I was a child! Christianity goes hard for me sometimes because of it! I want to do what I want to do! Yet I have to deal with those things. Do your child a favor. Spank them. Break their will.
Susanna Wesley said this: Susanna Wesley was the mother of John and Charles Wesley. John Wesley was the founder of the Methodist Church. Charles Wesley was a songwriter. We sing his songs all the time here. Susanna Wesley had I think 19 children. Thirteen or fourteen of them lived. She said this: I set out at an early age to conquer the will of each child. Then I continue to bring it under subjection until it is totally yielded to Christ. What a beautiful picture! Isnt that a beautiful picture? I set out from an early age to totally conquer the will of my child. Once I have it conquered, I keep it conquered! And I keep it that way until I see that it has been totally yielded to Christ. Then you dont have to worry about it anymore!
I would just like to encourage you to set out to totally conquer the will of your child. When Samuel was growing up, we dont have to say it anymore, but when he was a small boy, about 4 -4 ½ years old, we often said, Samuel, until Samuels will becomes Papas will, you are going to be an unhappy boy. Set out to conquer the will of your children. Youre supposed to be the boss. Youre supposed to be an authority. Theyre supposed to be under authority. Theyre the ones that are supposed to obey. Theyre the ones that are supposed to sit up and listen. They are the ones!
It grieves my heart so many times when you go to a grocery store and see a 3-year-old child ruling a father or a mother. Have you ever seen that? That happens sometimes among Gods people too. What a sad thing that a 3 year old would rule a father or a mother. Ive seen them pitch a fit, and the mother will go over and say, Whats the matter Johnny? Whats the matter? I want a candy bar! Here Johnny, have your candy bar. Ohhhh. I mean, I am exactly opposite of that. If a child fusses for a candy bar, theyll never get one. If I see the childs will going after something, Ill go right against their will. Ill do it every time. Set out from an early age to conquer the will of the child.
By age one, we begin clear training of the will at our house. We have lessons on coming at our house. Well teach the child to come. As soon as they can understand the word come, as soon as those little legs can go across the floor, we start having lessons on coming. The child is across the other side of the room Hannah, come to Papa! Shell come a runnin, and then just give her a blessing, Oh, what a good girl you are! Go on, go back to the other room! And Ill tell her, Were having lessons on coming. Go in the other room and then shell go in the other room. And shell wait in there, and Ill call her again, Hannah! Come to Papa! And here she comes running in the other room. Oh, good girl! Good girl! Pick her up and give her a hug, and send her back in the other room til I clearly know that this girl knows what it means to come when Papa says, come. Then I make it a little bit harder. And some people think Im mean for this, but it doesnt matter to me. Then Ill wait til shes busy playing with her favorite toy, and Ill see, Ah, shes got her favorite toy. Ill go in the other room on purpose. Hannah! Come to Papa! Wheres Hannah? Why shes playing with her favorite toy. She dont want to come now, this toys more exciting than running to papa. And then I go and get her. And I dont spank her right away. We make sure she knows exactly what is required of her. But Ill bring her in the other room and say, Hannah, Papa called you and you didnt come! Why didnt you come? Even if youre playing with your toy, when Papa says come you come! And I get that clear in her mind, and we wait another time. And finally, it happens, it always happens, the toys are there, shes so involved in them, shes enjoying them; Ill go in the other room. And I mean, I know whats going to happen, and Ive already got the stick in my mind, and I already know what Im going to do when she fails! Hannah! Come to Papa! Im not coming to Papa, Im playing with my toys! Okay Hannah, lets go. You disobeyed Papa. I told you to come; you didnt come. Go to your room. By the way, we dont use this on her. We have a good hard ruler. Just a regular ruler that we use on Hannah.
But we start training sessions. Its almost like dog training isnt it? I mean if youre going to train a dog, you do it on purpose, dont you? You know you do! You go out there and you say, Were going to have a half an hour of training for this dog. Sit! Stand! Lets Go! Sit down! Fetch! Good Boy! All that! You do that for about a half an hour and put him back in the cage again. Well that may seem a little crude to some of us here this evening, but that is the mentality that we ought to have about our children. Not that you take them out of the cage
but that you take special care and plan out how were going to train this child. Oh, I just get delighted! I look over at the child, and maybe they found a food that they dont like and I just think, Well, here we go! Now its time to learn our lesson that we all learn about eating our food all gone. See, Im not mad at them. Im not mad at them! Im waiting for them so that I can take an opportunity to train that will! So that someday God will get it! Im after their will! Not just spanking them for punishment, Im after their will! So they can give it to God someday! And I do it on purpose.
With a littler one, lessons on laying your head down, when its time to go to sleep at night. Lay them down in that crib, and work with them. Lay your headdie down. And push their head down. Lay your headdie down. Push their head down. So that they learn those words, what they mean, what is expected of them, and then finally, and its Esther now, not Hannah. Hannah lays her headdie down. But Esther, Esthers 8 months old. Esther, lay your headdie down. You know, and theyll look up at you like that
put their head down. And finally if they dont lay their head down, you give them a good swat on the back of the leg, with two fingers, just like this (example shown). You lay your headdie down. And then theyll start crying, and down will go the head. And they learn!
You see its easy, if you do it while theyre 1,2,3,4 its simple! Theyre simple little lessons. Why wait until theyre ten years old and then the lessons are hard and you dont know what to do, and it gets more difficult. Its so easy to teach them great big giant lessons on obedience, while theyre learning to eat their green beans. Or while theyre learning to come to Papa. Or while theyre learning to share their toys. Or while theyre learning not to hit when somebody goes against their grain. Its so easy. And you dont just teach them not to hit, you train their will and bring it under subjection!
Esther, she just started crawling about, oh just after I got back from Africa, maybe its two months now, or maybe not quite two months, shes learned how to crawl, and at our house, we dont put everything away when the child learns how to crawl. Thats when we start teaching them what no-no means. No-no (slaps of a hand a few times), no-no. And I dont start with a real hard hit on the hand. But just training that mind, no-no and pull her hand away. No-no, and pull her hand away; no-no, and pull her hand away. I mean shes learning it! I see her doing it. Shell go over, she likes all the books on the shelf in the family room where we have devotion, and shell go crawling over there you know, and shes got her eyes on those books and shell reach up like this and go like this (looking behind her). She knows! She knows shes not supposed to put her hand on that book! Once you get them to that place where they know theyre not supposed to put their hand on that book, then when they put their hand on the book (slaps of the hand and rebuked) No-no, Esther, no-no! And shell cry, big old crocodile tears and shell just shake and shudder and shell learn a lesson! She wont forget it either!
Another lesson on obedience, that Ive done with the last two I think, maybe three. I cant remember with Samuel, but with the last two, when Im working, I wear bib overalls. And bib overalls, they have a place right here where the pen fits, of course, they have a pocket here and I put my checkbook in it. And the pen is okay, but the checkbook is a no-no. And honestly, its such a simple little thing, but it works! And I trained Hannah. She knows she can play with the pen, but she cant play with the checkbook. And the way the whole thing started was, you know how the babies are, everything they get in their hands, what do they do with it? Well they have to see what its like, and they put it in their mouth! And I just decided, Shes not going to take my checkbook and stick it in her mouth, and Im not going to put my checkbook in my back pocket; she will learn that this she can play with, and it goes right into the mouth, but this checkbook you cannot touch it. And to this day, Hannahs almost three, if I sit her on my lap and Ive got my bib overalls on, and the pen is here, and the checkbook is here, shell say, Thats a no-no Papa, Im not supposed to touch that. She knows! And Esther is learning the same thing right now. Ill sit her down, and shell reach for both, or maybe shell reach for the checkbook. And Ill push her hand away, No-no, no-no! And Ill take the pen out and say, Here you can play with this! And she puts it right in her mouth like usual, and Ive got to wipe it off when she gets done. But, she is leaning! This you can do, this you cant do! See how simple that is!
Were talking about bringing the will of the child into subjection. See? Oh, would to God, we would just get a vision of becoming students of training our children! Thats all! You know there are hundreds and hundreds of illustrations like this and you can think of your own! If we just become students of training our children! Wed do them such favors. Wed just give them a head start on life by ten years. If we start when theyre young and we just start working through these kinds of things with them.
Turn to Proverbs 29, and were going to close here. I have some more, but Im going to save it for another night. Well look at these verses in closing. Motivational verses for us.
Proverbs 29:15, The rod and reproof give wisdom. Can we see that? Can we see after weve looked at all these verses and weve looked at the illustration that the rod and reproof really do give wisdom! But a child left to himself, bringeth his mother to shame. That ought to be a motivational verse for us. And look at this. While I was studying this afternoon, I saw some verses in a new way. Lets just read the context here. The next verse, When the wicked are multiplied
Thats the children that are left to themselves, transgression increases. But the righteous shall see their fall. Now look at the next verse: Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest! Yeah, he shall give delight unto thy soul. Now look at the next verse: Where there is no vision, the people perish. But he that keepeth the law, happy is he. But he that keepeth the law, happy is he! Where there is no vision, the people perish. And that word perish, I have written down here in my Bible, theyre wild and scattered. Can you see the context there? God is pleading with us here! Chasten your children! The rod of correction and reproof will give wisdom to your children! Itll give righteousness to your children! Your children will be righteous! The nation will be righteous! The people will be righteous! If youll chasten your children, theyll be filled with wisdom, theyll be obedient, theyll be righteous, and theyll go the right way! But if you leave them to themselves, theyll bring you to shame, and wickedness will reign in the country. So chasten your children! And it will give you rest!
Ive been in some homes, that were absolutely the opposite of rest. Listen, children are the greatest joy! One of the greatest joys this side of heaven, but some people are so frustrated with children, they dont want anymore than one or two. And the way they raise them and the way they behave, I dont blame them for not wanting anymore! But if well just do what God says, they are the greatest blessing to have around! Theyre such a joy! You fathers, if youll do your job, youll be a king at your house! And every father ought to be a king in his own house. I mean honored! I mean revered, respected! Your children will rise up and kiss the hand that you spanked them with, if youll just follow these clear, biblical laws. If youll just follow them, God will bless you, and youll have rest in your home! And theyll bring delight to your soul. And they do! And they will! Can we get a vision of it tonight? Heres the prayer that I wish that youd pray to God. That youd just pray, God, make me a student of https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/articles/index.php?view=article&aid=2059 |