After saying my goodbyes, one item of unfinished business has remained lodged in my mind, and so I must share here what should have been written several days ago. My apologies for being so dreadfully slow!
DEADn, your heart was drawn to your nephew; and your concerns regarding his new religious affiliation. Then upon reflection, you decided to put that issue aside, preferring not to get derailed over the problems of the SDA. You wanted to preserve your inner peace, and move on. I was immensely blessed by your resolve. At that point I could have validated your thoughts and also encouraged you to continue thinking about your nephew not merely in light of his religious affiliation, but in light of his wider world - the culture that profoundly shapes him including his everyday life work, school, family, relationships, and so forth. In fact, these other influences shaped/shape him far more deeply. He is much more than merely a product of his new religion (to whatever extent that may be, we here have no idea). As you know, you really cant understand him by reading the SDAs doctrinal creed or a list of their errors. You cant know him or what presses on his mind without hearing from him directly through sharing yourself with him and building his trust. None of us here can tell you about him his passions, fears, worldviews, and so forth.
You may have noticed the danger of trying to understand other people based on a category we see them in esp their religious affiliation. That tempts us to totalize them that is, see them as nothing more than that. And then we judge them accordingly without knowing them at all. Or we talk about them - people who exist only in our imagination as the other outside of ourselves inferior to us. This is not the Christian way, and it is not the way of love or humility. Our calling is to submit our lives in love to real people the neighbor God puts across our paths and reflect the grace of God that dwells within us.
It seems that we failed to be neighborly to you, sister, and we left you in the dust while we trampled down the well trodden path of fruitless discussion about people who are not our neighbors, but who exist merely in our distracted, anxious minds. Of course it is appropriate to close down such a bunny trial discussion. But, it is NOT fitting to abandon our calling to real people in our path even if they come to us only in the cyberworld. You are a precious sister who longs to know God more deeply and to serve him in a world of fallen, needy people.
May God stir within you the fire of his love. May you hear him call you My beloved and may his Spirit continue to refresh your heart with his insurmountable goodness.