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Discussion Forum : General Topics : Do we have the freedom to decide how many children to bear?

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hachi
Member



Joined: 2012/9/10
Posts: 4


 Re:

I'm surprised nobody mentioned that verse automatically as well. Actually Koheleth, that Scripture is being used out of context, relating to the concept of having children. Context is king, as Kay Arthur says. If you notice where those words are strategically placed in the Bible it is when there is no populated earth- after the fall and after the flood. It is also important to take into the fact that those words were intended for those people- not for us. We need to be careful about how we use that Scripture. The reason why it is mostly opinion as you say, is due to the fact that there is no reference given in Scripture that says "Have this many children." It's only reference that children are a blessing. No numerical verses.

 2012/9/12 21:51Profile
Zionshield
Member



Joined: 2007/2/13
Posts: 135
Ohio

 Re: Is God in control of the womb?

Thank you for sharing these scriptures. One thing that strikes about what the Word does reveal is that God is in control and can also determine when and if a child is given to us.

I have a son that just turned 5 last week, a 3 year old son, a 2 year old daughter and a two month old son. The only space of time I didn't have a child is the year we moved and settled into our home. I believe He gave us our children and the one year it would have been very difficult He prevented it from occurring.


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Randy Lambert

 2012/9/12 22:57Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7463
Mississippi

 Re:

Zion, I sure hope you are there to help your wife!

She is going to need a LOT of help to provide for your children. There is laundry to be done - and clothes to be folded and put neatly into drawers or hung up on hangers where they can be found. There is food to be cooked and dishes to be washed and put away after each and every meal. There are squabbles that need mediating, naughty children to be disciplined. Hurts that need kissing and bandaging. There are messes to clean up. On top of all this there is the emotional, spiritual needs that need tending to. There is a wife that gets weary emotionally, physically, spiritually - sometimes to the point to wondering why did she ever marry you and have your children! Lack of support will cause her to lash out at you and the children - and do not blame her for being spiritually weak! She needs you to help her carry this load. Having four children in five years is very stressful!

Are you providing her with all the emotional, physical help she needs in order to cope?

The work I listed may seem very stern, but hey! you must realize that keeping an orderly home is essential to raising orderly children as well.

Wishing you well...the hardest part is yet to come.


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Sandra Miller

 2012/9/13 9:53Profile
Ceri
Member



Joined: 2008/10/17
Posts: 113
Notts. England.

 Re: Do we have the freedom to decide how many children to bear?

I was stunned when we first married to be told by some in our then church to use 'Holy Spirit contraception' - not man made, and told that God will only give us the kids He wants us to have... well after a few honeymoon babies in church that year that idea soon died a death!!

Of course it's a decision we make as a couple - and not a sin at all!

We asked the Lord for two children, a boy to look after a younger sister.
When we felt ready and settled in life, 3 years later, we tried - sure enough God answered prayer and we had a boy followed 15 months later by a girl. Now 23 & 22 they truly are a gift from God to us, bless us and our church so much - and they look after each other! We really struggle together as a family financially and it would have been madness for us to have had more, even though my husband would have liked another.
We have to have common sense - we could not have afforded any more, nor had the home space for more, and as we are, we're a very close knit family unit.

My sister though has five, aged between 23 & 4 - four boys and a daughter (also expecting)in a two bedroom house! She struggles and complains, has constant health issues (stress related) and there is so much strife, noise and fighting in her house. Always a family crisis going on!
I don't believe God would have desired her to have a life like she has!


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Ceri Elaine

 2012/9/13 15:16Profile
MaryJane
Member



Joined: 2006/7/31
Posts: 3057


 Re:

I think GOD gives us wisdom and leads us in these decisions, but all of our choices in life should be made only after prayer not just this one. If HE is truly LORD of my life then I would think HE would have some things to say on the matter and as a couple coming together HE will give leading. I know that by the time we had our fifth child I was having some medical issues and so we chose not to have any more and I believe that was the LORDS will for our life.

On a side note I will add that young couples need to carefully consider the use of contraceptives and the health issues as well as spontaneous abortions that can be caused by these drugs. I would never have used them when I was younger knowing what I know now.

Just my thoughts

God bless
maryjane

 2012/9/13 16:35Profile
savannah
Member



Joined: 2008/10/30
Posts: 1986


 Re: REWARD: Missing children

One well-intentioned poster wrote the following -

"Zion, I sure hope you are there to help your wife!

She is going to need a LOT of help to provide for your children...Having four children in five years is very stressful!

Are you providing her with all the emotional, physical help she needs in order to cope?"

The poster who wrote this a grandmother, and I'm sure as I wrote above, that she was and is well intentioned as she wrote it.

Yet, as the husband and head of his wife and household, and his being a professing christian, why is it that when a man posts such as he did regarding his family decisions, a woman sees fit to give him a stern word of exhortation!

I tell you, it is because so many are not content with their own station or calling that they are under the impression that they must take a dog by the ears (Proverbs 26:17).

Another example of this comes from another woman poster as she writes,

"I don't believe God would have desired her to have a life like she has!"

And in China, the Chinese Government would say similarly when they enforce a law stating one child per household.

I'd ask, is the poster in God's stead that she knows what He has decreed for each family. Or, has the Government in China become a god and a law unto themselves.

Sin encroaches upon us all, but we do not stop life or living because of it. No professing christian who says Jesus is LORD, would ever entertain the thought that their thinking is not far from the atheistic Chinese communist leaders, but lo!..how close some may be!

Another common denominator of these two posts from these women is that there are no Scriptures to back them up.

Let's get back to the Bible!

Start in the Book of Beginnings...the book of Genesis!

"Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward." Psalm 127:3

 2012/9/13 16:53Profile
DEADn
Member



Joined: 2011/1/12
Posts: 1357
Lakeland FL

 Re:

Quote:


Amazing that a discussion like this can happen and no one will mention the very first commandment given to man in the Scriptures: "Be fruitful and multiply."




This does not answer the original question. Only gives a reference and not everyone can have kids so it blows the whole theory out of the water.

Everyone has an opinion on this and I don't think there is a wrong answer unless of course a person becomes very unbalanced. Then there will be problems.


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John

 2012/9/13 17:28Profile
romanchog
Member



Joined: 2011/10/27
Posts: 323


 Re: Do we have the freedom to decide how many children to bear?

I think as with ALL issues, we should not decide ANYTHING on our own. All of our decisions, if they are to be made correctly, must come from prayer and guidance of the Holy Spirit because only God knows what is His will for each of us.

It is wrong to establish a rule of what any couple should decide about how many children they should have or how to achieve that. That is legalism. We are no longer under the Law, but follow the Law of the Spirit (Rom 8:2). Following the Law of the Spirit requires that we pray and follow the direction of the Spirit, and not OUR wisdom based on worldly reasoning(which is foolishness). (1 Cor 3:19)

As for our family, we felt directed by the Spirit to not stop the blessings of the Lord (Psalm 127:3). We had 9 children, and we did not have any regrets, nor a house full of chaos [although to others it may look like it :-) ]. It has been a joy to raise and continue to raise these children.

However that does not mean that this is for anyone. It would be wise for every one to run their own race and look at the log in their own eyes and stop judging how God leads others. I am reminded of the saying, "Others might but you may not." We are all God's children individually, and He will guide us all individually.


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Natalie

 2012/9/13 19:51Profile
romanchog
Member



Joined: 2011/10/27
Posts: 323


 Re:

Savannah: Based on your response, I am sure you did not understand the spirit with which ginnyrose wrote her post.

As an older woman, she is exhorting a younger man (who could be her son) in love to take good care of his wife so that his home could be blessed. I don't think that she was ordering him to do anything.

Those of us who have taken care of several young children at once can attest to the need for a husband's support and helping hand. It is a stabilizing factor for our own spirit.

In Christ's service: romanchog


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Natalie

 2012/9/13 20:17Profile
Zionshield
Member



Joined: 2007/2/13
Posts: 135
Ohio

 Re:

Ginnyrose,

I take into consideration that you have lived through this and the manner in which you have written and the content you have written have come out of that experience. Being that I am living through it with my wife I understand. I recognize men in general don't have a reputation for being helpful at home to the point that they really need to be.

I've tried to write some things in response, but I have a strong urge to defend myself and I must not respond to that feeling so I will say nothing more. I respect you for the hardship you endured.







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Randy Lambert

 2012/9/14 0:22Profile





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