In my search for truth, I have questioned the christian faith. I have heard enough contradiction among church people (disobedient ones and etc), that I had to check things out myself. When you look into things prayerfully, with a true seeking of God, you can find He is good to show you, making sense and logically. I have read other things, including parts of the Koran, Buddhism, new-age, even demonic things, as I was seeking truth, He showed me there is no power or goodness in those things. Sin brings death, keep going on against God, it will end in death, but His way comes back to Jesus Christ. If you want to examine your own faith, that is probably healthy, but it should be with the love of God and Truth, that whatever you find on the side of Truth, to follow wholeheartedly.
I am only a 4 year old christian. As I started my bible study, I wanted to know God, but I was not really committed to Jesus Christ because I didn't understand what church and Him were all about. He did show me how evil sin was though, so I was seeking Goodness and Truth. One thing that disturbed me greatly was God giving Moses the 10 commandments (saying don't kill), but then turn around and tell Joshua to kill all kinds of people. To me, that was such an obvious (on the surface) contradiction. But I knew God is righteous, but I had to know what was going on here, because if I could not find out why God would do such an obvious breaking of His own law, then this illogical and evil thing is not of the Creator of order and Love. I am so thankful He showed me what is going on in my search for Truth. He can show you things, if you seek Truth and ask Him for help. I definitely needed help reading the bible, and I asked Him continually. I wanted to know the God I could call Father, I wanted to know the One who watches my every move, my secret sins and everything else. I wanted to know this God, I was not looking to fight Him anymore, so my questioning this contradiction was not in arrogance or fighting, but in Truth I wanted to understand what is going on with God here. He doesn't reveal all Himself all at once, but He will answer if we seek Him in humility and seeking Truth. Just to share what I learned, God showed me the world view and thinking at the time, in the context, His ways made sense. I believe He was grieved that He had to go to such lengths to prove Himself, but He did what the people wanted at the time. Studying other things besides the Bible is something even the Bible says we can do. In Chronicles, Kings, it says there is no need for further explanation there because it is already recorded in history, common historical facts. Checking out the times, and seeing what the unbelieving nations are doing, their mindset, I found they were provoking God to kill them. The whole idea was "whoever is winning all the wars, that god is God." One thing I like to throw in is perhaps, if the nations would have said, "whoever has the largest tree in all the world, that god is God." Because asking to be murdered and conquered by whoever's god is purposely asking to be killed if you don't serve the Real God. He wants us to love Him wholeheartedly and to choose Life, not death, which is right.
This is just one example of how God does not have to be naively followed. It isn't that He can be intellectualized either, but He can prove Himself to be an immovable Rock, One you can truly have faith in as you seek Truth. He answers prayers, and gives the Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ our sin savior, that is a wonderful gift. No other god has such power of Life and Truth. _________________ Jina
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