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 Does Facebook Wreck Marriages-Report

http://blogs.smartmoney.com/advice/2012/05/21/does-facebook-wreck-marriages/

 2012/5/23 6:35
MaryJane
Member



Joined: 2006/7/31
Posts: 3057


 Re: Does Facebook Wreck Marriages-Report

I am not on facebook but I do believe as with any other mode of communication, Facebook is a tool. If give an opportunity there are people who use it in such a way that it could and has done terrible damages to lives and marriages. I think blaming facebook itself is a little like saying its the beers fault my brother is an alcoholic. Its just simply not true. People make choices and need to take responsibility for what they do. No one can have true repentance from sin with out fully owning what they have done, so I don't think facebook wrecks marriages, I think people who are living for self, who are in rebellion to GOD use tools like Facebook so that they can full fill the desires of the flesh and that is what wrecks and destroys marriages. I do think all of these kinds of social meeting places can be a tool used by the enemy to draw us away from the LORD and into a very dark world that feeds on the awful behavior that the Internets anonymity gives a certain covering too. As a tool though it can be used to build something or someone up in the LORD or it can be used to tear down and destroy...I think it all depends on the person using the tool.

Just my thoughts
GOD bless
mj

 2012/5/23 9:32Profile









 Re:

MaryJane,
What you say is true to a point, BUT, there is wisdom in avoiding anything that can/does lead so many into temptation, sin, and falling. The Lord told me to stay completely away from social networking from day 1. There is a reason. The temptations and the failings on Facebook are real and VAST as the studies show. The fruitfulness of "Facebook Evangelism/Ministry" I don't put a lot of stock in. It generally leads to arguing, throwing pearls before swine, and endless arguments and misunderstandings. I state this emphatically based on the experiences of good friends of mine who have spent endless hours in such pursuits with little/no fruit. Not saying God CAN'T use it. But, he can use a ministry to drunk people in bars, but that is usually always a work of the flesh that results I no lasting fruit whatsoever. Whatsoever is not born of God through the Spirit is a work of the flesh which profits nothing. And if your purpose isn't 100% ministry in it, then you are trusting in the power of the flesh, wasting valuable time that should be redeemed in this last hour, and playing with fire for entertainment. Not trying to be dogmatic, but I know what the Lord spoke to me concerning these things.

 2012/5/23 10:47
MaryJane
Member



Joined: 2006/7/31
Posts: 3057


 Re:

Greetings Jeffmar

I agree with you. These sites can be a place of very great temptation and I have some experience with that as well. Before I was saved I went through a difficult time in my own marriage and spent way to much time chatting with others in a christian chat room. There was much temptation because as I said the internet allows you a certain anonymity to say and behave in such a way that one might not normally do in the real world. I am thankful that the LORD brought me out of that chat room before anything really happened or developed but still the danger was real and it was there. It was enough to make me stay away from those kinds of sites and realize that the LORD does not have that for me.

I believe that for some these kinds of sites can be a useful tool to reach out to others and share the LORD, but there does have to be leading from the LORD that it is expressly what HE has for you. As you said they can be a place of great temptation. Just like the doughnut shop can be a great temptation for someone who use to be a binge eater(someone like me) its better to avoid then to make it a place to hang out!

Just going back to the original question though I still don't believe that Facebook as a site destroys a persons marriage, the people involved do that by their actions. There is no spouses out there being forced to go to facebook but there are many that choose to. I agree as with any thing on the internet it can be used for entertainment and as such can become a huge waste of time and energy that GOD has for us to be doing other things, but I can not dismiss the blessing that some have had in the lives of others sharing through facebook. As you said I just know I am suppose to stay clear and so I follow that conviction.

Thank you for sharing your heart on this topic and for sharing what the LORD has shown you. IT is good to know what the LORD places on the hearts of others I find He often uses these things to help me grow in my walk with HIM :)

God Bless
mj

 2012/5/23 11:13Profile









 Re:

I do not know about FB wrecking marriages. But in a sense it has wrecked nations. The Islamic extremist used it quite successfully to bring down Naburak in Egypt. And now Egypt will become Islamic.

It is my understanding restricted nations are useing FB to let the outside world know of their suffering. The persecuted are using it. So God can use social media to his own ends. Is that not what SI is about?

Bearnaster.

 2012/5/23 15:29









 Re:

This is an excerpt from the article in the link



“Affairs happen with a lightning speed on Facebook,” says K. Jason Krafsky, who authored the book “Facebook and Your Marriage” with his wife Kelli. In the real world, he says, office romances and out-of-town trysts can take months or even years to develop. “On Facebook,” he says, “they happen in just a few clicks.” The social network is different from most social networks or dating sites in that it both re-connects old flames and allows people to “friend” someone they may only met once in passing. “It puts temptation in the path of people who would never in a million years risk having an affair,” he says. Facebook declined to comment.

 2012/5/23 17:21
waitonGod
Member



Joined: 2012/4/10
Posts: 16


 Re:

I agree that facebook is a tool. In and of itself, I don't feel like it ruins marraiges, but I can see the point argued in the article. Facebook is the best way for me to keep up with some of the friends I graduated HS with, especially those in the mission field. However, my wife and I share an account. If anything is posted or sent, we both see it. I would definitely advise anyone, especially those in ministry to do the same thing. Another preacher friend of mine gives all his passwords out to a group of other preachers he knows and trusts. That way, he is held accountable. I think that's also a great idea.

 2012/5/23 17:39Profile
DEADn
Member



Joined: 2011/1/12
Posts: 1395
Lakeland FL

 Re:

Anything can wreck a marriage. People can blame outside forces but what about ones own personal neglect of their spouse because of dying love somehow. For the religious crowd it is always the golden calves of TV and movies and even music to blame for these things and now with technology it is Facebook and probably twitter and the other sites which are online. They all have their pull to destruction and away from destruction.

I think the danger lies in Christian wanting to place blame on these items without taking responsibility for their own actions. In many cases it is a person maturity level or lack thereof that causes them to get themselves in trouble when it comes these these outlets and their marriage. But who really wants to acknowledge that anyway? Too easy to blame 'things' because 'they' are of the devil. Really?

Just my thoughts
John


_________________
John

 2012/5/23 20:58Profile
Lysa
Member



Joined: 2008/10/25
Posts: 3699
East TN for now!

 Re: Does Facebook Wreck Marriages-Report


There is nothing wrong with FaceBook, just like there is nothing wrong with the Internet or even pay-per-view, it's all based on the user's ability to control how "they" use these things.

There is something I learned in college about the 'locus of control' and whether a person is external or internal. A person who has an external locus of control tends to blame things outside of themselves if they don't do as well as expected. While a person with an internal locus of control tends to place the blame on themselves if they don't do as well as expected. I.E. didn't do well on a test examples... external blames being late, the weather, the questions weren't worded right, etc; internal will blame themselves by saying, "I should have started studying sooner, I knew this was going to be a hard test," etc.

I find this same locus of control true with things such as facebook, the Internet and pay-per-view. With prayer and fasting and reading HIS word we can move any of our weaknesses from external to internal and overcome them in Jesus' holy name!!

Just my two cents worth on a not-so-important subject.

God bless,
Lisa


_________________
Lisa

 2012/5/23 21:12Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 Re:

Well, I know the use of the Blackberry was instrumental in ruining my brother's marriage. His wife got addicted to electronic technology that resulted in ignoring her husband and others. Whenever she was with others she was always texting, giving scant heed to others around her.

A body must not allow anything else to own them. A godly person is owned by God and you must allow Him to control you, not some other gadget or your own selfish interests/will.


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2012/5/23 22:29Profile





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