The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is
recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to
a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the
original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the
reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been identified as "Sub
sequential Internal Non-morality," more commonly known as S.I.N.,
as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behaviour
6. Depression or confusion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable
nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and
service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most
generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of
these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas
Once connected, please upload your burden
of SIN through the REPENTANCEprocedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair
Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect
is, God will replace it with:
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, eg. the
B.I.B.L.E. (BEST Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further
details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human
being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties,
exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list,
and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.
For free emergency service, call on God.
DANGER: The human being units not
responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the
furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as
to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!
P.S. Please assist where possible by
notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may
contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!